Having It All
by little.camp.fairy
Summary: Starting after 4x10, because I hated how Meredith found out about Rose, and as much as I love Grey's, Shonda has given MerDer some really sucky stuff to deal with. This is what I think should have happened. Marriage, Babies and growing old together. Hopefully some joy to go with the tears. Like the title says it's just about Having it all. Enjoy :)
1. Confessions

Meredith knew there was something wrong the second Derek walked in the door. He'd paused in the foyer, as if he were composing himself. He'd only ever done that when he'd done something wrong. Some of the worst moments in their relationship had happened because he'd lingered in the foyer. It held good memories too. It always seem to have positive consequences if the pair of them were lingering together, but when Derek lingered alone, Meredith knew he was about to hurt her with something and he had to build up the courage to do that again.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked him, as he finally walked into the kitchen, frowning slightly when she couldn't get a proper read of his expression. She'd asked him just hours before not to date any woman but her, and admitted she was scared, and he'd tried to say something, but she told him to wait and say something tomorrow. Progress, that's what she'd called it. And now Derek was lingering in her kitchen doorway about to say the thing that she'd told him to say tomorrow. A thing that he deemed bad enough that he had to tell her. He'd waited until tomorrow, he'd waited all day while she was in surgery and he was in surgery, wanting to tell her, to come clean about whatever it was that was bothering him. And here he was about to say the thing that would pop Meredith's happy little bubble. The two stood in silence for a few minutes before Derek forced himself to tell her.

"I kissed my scrub nurse." Meredith looked at Derek, digesting his words. It hung in the air waiting for one of them to react. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn't come. What was she supposed to say to that? How could he even have thought of doing something like that? She caught his eye before he bowed his head, staring at the floor. His eyes were full of guilt, she could tell he knew he'd done something earth shatteringly terrible. There was so much hurt, so much regret there. He knew he'd hurt her, he was so aware that he couldn't even bring himself to make eye contact with her. She couldn't bring herself to say anything, there was nothing she could say that would change the fact that he'd kissed another woman while he was waiting for her. She knew that this was it; that this would make or break them, that if she chose to forgive him right now, this was her shot at being a couple. She had to take a step forward, or she would lose him. Meant to be or not, he'd proved that he could and he would move on if she couldn't get to a place where she was ready. Fate wasn't the thing that would keep them together, she was. If she didn't fight now, she was pretty much giving up her shot at a happy ever after. She walked out from behind the breakfast bar and over to the doorway where he stood like a frightened child. She reached up a hand to his face, and he flinched waiting for the slap, but it never came. Her soft hands brushed against his stubble as she tilted his chin up so he could look in her eyes. He could see that he'd hurt her when he chose to kiss Rose, her eyes spoke the words that her mouth didn't. He began to lower his head in shame again. Unable to look at the pain he'd caused for any longer. She knew she might regret what she was about to say, but she knew it had to be said if she had any chance of getting past this. She breathed in his woodsy scent, the scent that remained on his pillow, the scent she breathed in when he wasn't there because it comforted her. The scent she wanted to spend the rest of her life with before Addison, and before the bomb and the drowning, and before this. Before he kissed another woman. Before he decided that he was all too willing to move on. Before he told her, knowing what the consequences might be.

"I forgive you." She whispered, as his gaze swiftly met hers again. "For kissing rose. I'm forgiving you." He breathed a sigh, not daring to speak, humbled by the maturity of the woman he loved and totally aware of what an enormous step this was for her, he'd pressured her into being ready, and then he'd shown her that he was willing to have it all with someone else, yet she'd forgiven him. She hadn't given up. There was hope.

"It hurts me, knowing how quickly you would move on, but I'm going to try to look past it. I believe that we can move on from this. You were dating, you were waiting for me to be ready. You kissed her before i said how i felt. I can forgive you for that. But if you ever do that to me again..." She tore her gaze away, staring up at the celling to try and stop the tears that were threatening to fall. "I want us Derek. I'm not ready for the big happily ever after, but I'm ready to be us. To move forward. All that stuff you want in our future that terrifies me, but I'll work towards it. But you have to promise me that you will be right here by my side going through it with me, helping me when it does get scary. Just us, no dating anyone else, no S&M, just us, in a real proper relationship. Just us."

"I promise Meredith." He told her "I'm in for us, I'm in, I just can't lose you again."

"So this is it, no more running away from each other, no more maybes, or when I'm ready's."

"No more running away, no more maybes, just whenever you're ready, I'm ready."

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too Meredith." He pulled her into his arms, both of them shedding their tears at the momentous event that had just taken place between them. He kissed her long and deep, and she deepened it further as she raked her fingers through his hair. They both came up for air, gazing intently into each other's eyes. This was it. This was going to be forever. She was his forever, and he couldn't wait to spend it with her.

Meredith was grateful that he'd told her himself, hearing it from him meant that he wanted her to be able to act on it, he didn't want to hide anything from her. Even though it hurt her that he'd kissed someone else, it helped that he'd come clean, that he felt guilty. It proved to her that he was really in this, and that made her all the more determined to fight for whatever they did have, to give this one last shot. She walked past him, going towards the stairs, she turned around to look at him hoping he'd follow. She raised her eyebrows as he looked at her, quickly rushing to her side and following her up to their bedroom. She shimmied out of her tiny little robe and hopped into her side of the bed, patting the other side so that he'd join her. He pulled on some pyjama pants and an old t-shirt and joined her unsure whether or not he was allowed to touch her. Meredith edged towards him, grabbing his hand and holding it near to her chest. It was a simple gesture but for Derek it was a sign of hope, a sign that he hadn't ruined everything. He so easily could have with his idiocy, but he hadn't, Meredith's slender fingers entwined with his gave him hope. There could be a future here, there would be a future here, he just had to be willing to fight for it with her.


	2. Phoenix

**A/N- I wrote most of this fic in one long document, which means it doesn't split up particularly well, so until i get into a routine of writing in chapters, the length is going to vary a lot. I'm trying to keep them at a minimum of 1000 words per chapter, but some could be considerably more, so apologies in advance. Total filler to lead up to something else this time. Enjoy!**

Derek woke up the next morning with Meredith by his side, her snores echoing around the room. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at her again, still in a state of total disbelief at the fact that she hadn't told him to leave, hadn't hit him, hadn't even yelled at him. Instead, she'd forgiven him. He hadn't forgiven himself yet though, he knew he'd hurt her, and he knew that she would never forget that, that it would hurt her for a long time to come. This was possibly the last shot he had with Meredith, if he didn't buck up his ideas, she would leave him.

Neither had to be in until twelve today, and he knew she was exhausted from the night before, so he got up gently, tucking her up in the covers before heading downstairs to make himself a coffee. It was still early, but the house was quiet, Izzie and Alex had already gone to work and George had been on call and wasn't due back until later. He picked up the paper, glancing through the headlines occasionally stopping to read an article or two that were of some interest to him. He glanced past the adverts trying to get people to buy all sorts of unnecessary things, until an advert for the jewellery store near to the hospital caught his eye. The picture showed a simple bracelet with large links, suitable for adding charms to. Meredith had seen one weeks ago when they were walking past and seemed to like it, brushing the idea off when he mentioned it, merely saying she might get it for Izzie as a birthday present. He looked at the pattern of it, tens of tiny unbroken links, forming a perfect little ring, it even had a safety chain, so the circle was never broken. He got up and found some scissors in one of Meredith's kitchen drawers and cut it out, placing it in his pocket. He heard Meredith's footsteps on the floor above, so he started on some French toast for her, making sure there was maple syrup in the cupboard first. He checked to see how warm the coffee was, pouring a mug of it as she came down the stairs and sliding it to her as she sat down.

"Hi," he said grinning at her. She hadn't brushed her hair yet, and she'd just pulled her robe on over her Dartmouth shirt and some pyjama pants. She hadn't made an effort but Derek thought she looked beautiful. She sipped her coffee, inhaling the scent of the warm drink.

"Hi," she replied a small smile reaching her lips.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked flipping the bread in the pan.

"Yeah," she confirmed looking at him as he was cooking. She couldn't imagine how she could love someone who had hurt her so badly, how even though he'd hurt her by kissing rose, all she wanted to do was kiss him over and over.

"Derek," she said quietly "Do you love me?" Derek turned around to look at her.

"Of course I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you so much that the second I stopped kissing her, I wanted you, I wanted to tell you, because I couldn't bear to hide that from you. Even though I know it was the stupidest most repulsive thing I could've possibly done, I had to tell you so that we could move past it. I..." Meredith cut across him.

"'Cause I love you, and I just wanted to make sure that you knew that. I don't want to talk about her, I just want you. I want you to be mine, and I just want you." she got up and threw her arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest and letting the tears fall. Derek took the pan off the heat and wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You have me." he whispered, "You'll always have me." they stayed like that for a few minutes while Meredith let the tears fall, she needed to let them out, and she needed him to hold her and reassure her that they were going to move forward. They pulled apart and Derek served her a plate of French toast, pulling the maple syrup and placing it in her hand before pressing a kiss to her cheek. He watched her eat and then put her plate in the dishwasher, knowing that even though he was the one that hurt her, he was the one she needed there to feel better about it. He stayed by her side while she got ready, slipping into some smart trousers and a dress shirt himself as she put on jeans and a long sleeved shirt. She didn't say much, but she was never one for words when she was upset.

Once they got to the hospital, she gave him a quick peck and a small smile before heading towards the nurses' station for her assignment for the day. Derek watched her go, only tearing his eyes away when his pager sounded for a consult in the pit. Meredith Grey was still his, he was the luckiest man in the world.

He stayed in the pit for a while, dealing with a few minor head injuries and a case of mild concussion before taking his break at 4pm, he pulled the picture out of his pocket, and made his way over to the jewellery store. He'd been in before, he'd picked out earrings for Meredith, and helped her choose others for her friends, with the occasional necklace thrown in for good measure, so the staff recognised him when he walked in.

"Dr. Shepherd." the middle aged woman greeted, "Can I help you with anything today?"

"I'd like a bracelet like this," he said showing her the picture, "or something even better if you have it." she walked around the counter of cases gesturing that he do the same, Before pointing out the range of bracelets that they had on offer.

"This is the one in the picture." she said pointing out a middle of the range bracelet. "These are all a little more expensive, but they're often more popular if you're looking for something a bit special, or something that will last a while." Derek glanced through the selection before his eyes settled on one with platinum links that sparkled in the light of the case.

That one," he said pointing it out to her. He didn't care about the price, this was for Meredith, price was no object when it came to the love of his life.

"Okay," the woman said puling it out so he could look at it more closely, would you like to see it on?" Derek nodded, taking the bracelet in his hand and fastening it around the jewellers wrist. It would be a little loose on Meredith's tiny wrists, but he knew it was the one.

"It's perfect." he said, un doing it and handing it to the woman.

"Would you like a charm to go with it?" she asked him gesturing to a case filled with charms of every kind. "These are the same material as your bracelet," she commented, "They're a little more than the silver or gold ones, but if you're going to spend on the bracelet may as well have the matching charms!" Derek looked through, past those for special occasions, and onto the more unusual things. He pored over many of them, not able to think of a reason for any of their significance to his and Meredith's relationship. Then he spotted it.

"What type of bird is this?" he asked the woman, hoping she'd confirm his suspicion.

"That, oh that's a phoenix, it's been here a while, no one really took much of a liking to it, we even took the price down a few times but people aren't really feeling him."

"I'll take it," Derek said abruptly.

"Okay dr. shepherd," she smiled, "would you like the pair gift wrapped?"

"Separately if that's okay?" He asked wanting to see the look on her face when she opened each individually as opposed to one big gesture.

"Definitely," she said as she got to work putting the items into boxes before adding ribbons and bows and other decorative things before putting them into small bags emblazoned with the shop's name and placing them in a larger bag before handing it to Derek. Derek thanked her and walked back to the hospital, looking around for Meredith as he made his way to his office to stash his gift. They were both on call tonight, so there would be little chance for a romantic meal, but they both had Saturday off, so he intended to sweep her off her feet and remind her just how much he loved her. He had a reason, but he didn't need one. Meredith was his once in a lifetime, his soul mate, and he'd show her every day for the rest of their lives if that's what it took for her to be sure.


	3. Sharing

**A/N- I think Meredith and Derek would have reached the point where they could really start opening up to each other about things, and I think that Bailey and Meredith have quite a good relationship early on and I wanted to nurture that a little rather than forget about it. We see Derek and Miranda's friendship quite a lot but not Bailey and Meredith and I think they should have a good relationship so I'm giving them one. Enjoy!**

It was 2am before Meredith found Derek in the on call room. Bailey had asked her to scrub in on an emergent general case on a young woman, and Meredith had stood in the OR for seven hours whilst Bailey had tried to save the woman's life. She was stable when Meredith left, but neither could be sure if she'd make it through the night. Bailey had sent Meredith to get a few hours rest, knowing that she was on until eight the next evening and would need to get some sleep if she was going to make it through the day. She crawled in beside Derek, his arms instinctively wrapping around her as he uttered a barely audible 'I love you' as she lay her head down on the pillow. She kissed him quickly before snuggling against him, safe in his arms. She'd seen Rose today, but she didn't feel angry or hurt or betrayed like she thought she would, she actually felt sorry for her. Derek and Meredith were the golden couple at Seattle Grace, and Rose had probably honestly believed that she had a shot, only for Derek to tell her he only ever wanted Meredith. Now everyone was learning about the kiss thanks to the gossip train that was speeding around the hospital, and she had to live with people whispering and laughing at her for believing that she might have a shot. Meredith had shot her a small smile as she walked past, pitying her for how much she had lost because of something so insignificant. She knew in that moment that she'd forgiven Derek completely, it somehow eased the hurt to know that she hadn't really lost anything, if anything it made her love Derek more, and it made him realise how much he wanted her even with her issues. She slept peacefully for a good three and a half hours before her pager went off, not much, but long enough to feel refreshed, and happy that she still got to wake up in Derek's arms.

Meredith didn't get the chance for any more sleep, as her patient's SATs began to drop when she got there, and Bailey made the decision to take her back into surgery to fix some bleeding, and perform a splenectomy that she'd been trying to avoid for her patient's sake. The surgery was longer than they expected, and in an ideal world the patient would've been far more stable than she was going in but the surgery was once again successful, and they wheeled her into recovery just as her parents arrived. Bailey took the lead on explaining the case to them, directing all questions to Meredith. Bailey assigned her to staying close by the patient for the rest of the day, monitoring her SATs and labs and making regular reports to dr. Bailey. It was disappointing to watch though, and by lunchtime, Meredith knew that if the SATs didn't pick up soon, the patient wouldn't make it through the rest of the day. She went and sat with the woman's parents for a while in the afternoon, learning about the kind of person she was, a newly qualified 1st grade teacher who loved her job, who was on her way home from school and planning on visiting her parents when she was hit by the other driver. Meredith was saddened by how much she'd achieved by 26, such a strong character, such a zest for life, with so much still to accomplish. She thought about her self at that age. Still at Dartmouth with a mother who was starting to forget things that she should remember easily. If Meredith had died at 26, no one would've much cared, but this girl had a whole school that would miss her presence on the playground, and by the sound of it, a large extended family that worshipped the ground she walked on. It made Meredith incredibly grateful for Seattle Grace, the place where she met her friends, her colleagues, her mentor, her pseudo father, her sister, and the love of her life. She had people if she died tomorrow who'd miss her, she finally had an army. The woman's SATs had picked up slightly by the time Bailey came around at 6pm, intending to spend the final two hours of her and Meredith's shifts sifting through the paperwork and hoping that they could leave the family with good news for the night. But two surgeries in a short space of time can take their toll on any body, and when the monitors started to flash at 7.30, they both knew that she'd given up the fight. Despite their best efforts, Meredith had to call it at 8.03. the pair left the room to tell the parents that their daughter hadn't survived, and spent some time with them consoling them and explaining what their next steps would be. After a few pained 'thank you's and hugs in appreciation for trying both Miranda and Meredith were exhausted, and not merely because they'd spent nearing 20 hours on their feet in the last day with just three hours sleep. Meredith got halfway to the nurses station before she broke down completely, all the pain and the sadness at the injustice of the case combined with the memories of herself and her mother all coming to the surface at once. Bailey took her in her arms and rubbed her back gently, leading her into an empty conference room for some privacy.

"It's just so unfair," Meredith sobbed as her cries died down slightly. "She was so young and she had so much to... and I... and it's just not fair."

"I know," Miranda rubbed her arms, "I know, its always the ones who have so much to offer, and so much left to achieve that go first. The ones that don't deserve it get all the bad stuff. I know it hurts sweetie, I know it's hard when you see yourself in a patient. She seemed as though she would've been a lot like you. But sweetie, the world would've been a much worse place if you hadn't been here. I'd've had to deal with Shepherd and those idiots you call friends all by myself. Never doubt how brilliant you are Grey. Never underestimate just how important your being here is to so many people."

"How did you?" Meredith said looking confusedly at her mentor.

"I'm Bailey, I know everything." she joked before putting an arm around Meredith's waist, "now go home to that cocky neurosurgeon boyfriend of yours. I'm going home to see my baby. I've had to miss two bedtimes, so I'm going home and I'm staying home." she walked to the residents lounge with Meredith, who quickly changed and grabbed her stuff ready to go snuggle up with her cocky neurosurgeon boyfriend for some much needed sleep in his arms.

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

Derek heard Meredith come in at around eleven, almost three hours after her shift ended, he heard her sniffling as she changed out of her clothes and used the bathroom in the dark so the light wouldn't wake him. He heard her try and calm herself before she slid in next to him, her tiny weight barely making an impression on the bed. He knew it'd been a bad day, that she needed someone right then to make it all better.

"I'm sorry she didn't make it." he said gently as she sobbed into her pillow putting his protective arm over her "I'm so sorry."

"I miss her." Meredith said after a few minutes. "I really miss her." Derek wondered for a second at who she meant before he realised. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, knowing how painful it was to be without a parent.

"I miss my dad." he assured her, "not as much now, but sometimes I just wish I could talk to him, I wish I could tell him about you. He'd like you a lot, not least because you're gorgeous and clever and a really talented surgeon. I think he'd love you like I do, just the way you are." Meredith's sobs calmed slightly and she turned to face Derek, a few tears escaping his eyes. She knew he was fatherless, but he didn't talk about it much, so she knew very few of the details, other than he'd been fourteen when it happened.

"I was talking to my mom earlier after you left to go into surgery, and we were talking about the day it happened, he was shot, in the store we had. It was just me and Amy in the store closet, and they shot him. And mom was saying how she found this envelope in one of the drawers in the kitchen, and it'd been there totally untouched until yesterday, like she hadn't even realised it was there. It was a card, their anniversary was a few weeks later, Dad was going to take her away, he didn't have tickets, he just wrote on a piece of paper, 'iou one cruise'. And she'd never found it, she said she just cried for ages, at this one silly little thing. She hadn't thought about him like that in such a long while, and then suddenly there he is, standing in our kitchen again laughing at Lizzie or teasing Kathleen about her boyfriend. Only one he ever met. It was like she'd gone back 24 years and then she remembered and that's when it hurt again. You forgot for a while Meredith, that's why it hurts, that's why the bit of your patient that reminded you of her hurt so much. I wish I could make it better, stop you feeling the pain, but I cant. I'm here though, I'm always here." he kissed her forehead, pulling her in tighter.

"She used to call me Roo, like in the book, said I was so bouncy that I reminded her of this character in this book she used to read. Like in the womb, I'd jump around and wake her up, and when I was tiny I'd jump everywhere, she told me once how she was sure I'd fall one day, break something, but I never did, I just seemed to know how far I could go. Good surgical skill she said, I think I was just lucky. She didn't call me it for years then right before I left for Europe before I started medical school, we had this argument, and she called me Roo again, like she'd never stopped, and I just listened to these parents talking about their daughter. Joelle, but they called her Joey, and her dad called her Roo. And I just wanted my Mom to call me Roo again. Just once more, so the last time I remember it wouldn't be her calling me a disappointment, wouldn't be how high her hopes had been for me only for me to turn out ordinary. I just needed to be Roo one more time before she left, just once more." Meredith let the tears come, they needed to. Derek kissed her, and she reciprocated as she undid the string on his sweatpants, letting him do the same, letting him kiss her and touch her and make love to her. She fell asleep naked in his arms, safe in his arms, glad that after the kiss, after the hurt the making love was still the only thing she needed when she cried. Sex was always good with them, but making love would always be special to her. He was the love of her life, and making love was just one of things that made her certain of just how much she loved him.


	4. Brunch and New Beginnings

They both slept late the next day, they were both exhausted, and neither felt waking the other was a good idea, so it was close to lunchtime when they both decided it might be a good time to wake up. Derek kissed her when he saw her eyelids start to flutter, barely awake himself. She kissed him back before pulling him towards the shower with her for the bendy thing they both loved so much. They wrapped each other in towels and headed back to the bedroom where the towels both came off, not because of any impending sex, but because they had gotten so used to being naked around each other that neither had any qualms about it anymore, and they both loved the other just a little bit more when they were naked.

"Breakfast?" Meredith suggested when they finally left the bedroom "Or lunch maybe?" she decided after looking at the clock.

"How about I take you out for brunch?" he suggested knowing she loved the faux meal even more than the two it was named after.

"Ooh yummy," she said "This is why I keep you around." she smiled. He matched hers with his own, painfully aware of how close he'd come to not being around anymore, but incredibly grateful that she'd let him back in. They jumped in the car and Derek drove to a little private patisserie that he'd found one day when he'd taken a wrong turn on the way home from Meredith's.

"Where's this?" she asked as they pulled into the parking space out front.

"For you my dear," he joked "This may well be heaven." she giggled and put an arm round his waist.

"Its so cheesy!" she whispered taking in the faux Italian decor.

"The owner is part Italian" Derek explained, "The food is good though."

"I guess that's all that matters." Meredith agreed as they were shown to their table by a college aged girl.

"Here are your menus, would you like any drinks before you order?" she asked, and without looking at the menu, Derek said:

"I'll have the house special, and the lady here will have a strawberry Bellini with the works, thank you."

"Coming right up." the waitress smiled at Derek's order.

"What did you just order?" Meredith asked poring over the menu. "wow, look at how many waffles there are, and pancakes and crepes, oh I don't know what I want, is it bad that I want everything?"

"I can order for you again if you'd like." Derek said knowingly trying not to laugh at Meredith's face as she tried to choose.

"Hmm okay, but remember I'm trusting you. With food. So you cant trick me at all." she surrendered curious to see what he chose for her.

"I promise," he said as the waitress came back.

"Your coffee sir," she said as she passed him a coffee with an intricate pattern on the top in foam and chocolate powder.

"That's so pretty," Meredith marvelled, not spotting Derek's smile until the waitress came back with a tray. Meredith's jaw dropped, the glass had so much going on she wasn't even sure how to drink it. As well as the traditional cocktail umbrella and straw, there were tiny streamers, sticks of various fruits and even a sparkler.

"What is that?" Meredith said as she waited for the sparkler to burn out.

"It's your drink Meredith," Derek smirked pulling out the dead sparkler so she didn't burn herself. "Just try it." Meredith took a reluctant sip from the straw, raising her eyebrows as the concoction hit her tongue.

"Oh my God," she said orgasmically "Derek this is amazing, I think we need to move here." Meredith took a few more sips before the waitress came back to take their order.

"Hi," Derek said "I'll have the fruit special, and Meredith here would really like the split stack W with savoury vs sweet please." he passed her the menus and Meredith looked confusedly at him, or as confused as you could look whilst sipping a thick cocktail out of a thin straw. "You'll love it." he smiled sipping at his coffee. He knew how important food was to Meredith, so he couldn't wait to see what she made of his choice. He sipped his coffee again, a foam moustache appearing on his top lip. Meredith smiled before kissing it off, licking any remaining foam from her lips. Derek grinned "we definitely need to come here more often." The waitress came with two laden plates and placed them in front of Meredith and Derek. Derek's meal consisted of a hollowed out watermelon half, filled with fruits of every colour cut into every shape imaginable, whereas Meredith had two small stacks of waffles, one adorned with bacon and eggs and sausages whilst on the other side were marshmallows, chocolate chips and lots of chocolate sauce and syrup along with a tiny jug of maple syrup and several savoury sauces.

"Do you approve?" Derek said as the waitress walked away and Meredith stuck her fork in her savoury waffles.

"I cant believe you've never brought me here!" she giggled moaning in enjoyment of her food. "Yours looks amazing by the way," she said stealing a strawberry and dipping it into the chocolate on her plate.

"You have an entire strawberry cocktail, yet you still want mine" he joked pulling out another one and feeding it to her.

"I only do it because I know you love me enough to let me." she giggled.

"This is true." he laughed back watching as she made light work of savoury waffles, taking a few small sips of her cocktail before starting her second waffle. Forcing a forkful of it into Derek's mouth.

"Good huh?" she said as he chewed it.

"I don't know how you can stomach something so sweet." he laughed. "This is far from sweet," she said seriously, "I once ate a jar of maple syrup on a dare, that was pretty sweet." Derek laughed at her, finishing the last of his fruit and draining his coffee cup as she swallowed the last of her waffles and finished the last of her cocktail offering him one of the skewers of fruit from inside. He took it from her pulling the fruit pieces off with his fingers and eating them as she tipped the glass up to get the last of the crushed strawberry at the bottom.

"I love you." he chuckled as she let out a little burp as she put the glass back down on the table. She'd gotten some on her forehead so Derek kissed it off as she'd done for him earlier before sitting back down and staring at the beauty that was Meredith Grey. The pair sat quietly for a moment, sipping their drinks and enjoying the moment until Derek remembered what he had hidden in his jacket pocket.

"I have something for you," he said with a smile, pulling the longer of the two boxes from his pocket "I saw this and thought you'd like it, so I got it for you."

"But it's not my birthday or Christmas." she frowned at him slightly accepting the box from him.

"Does it have to be a special occasion for me to want to spoil you?" he grinned at her. "Open this one and you can have the other one." Meredith opened the box slowly, the bracelet catching the light as she looked at it.

"Derek," she gasped "it's beautiful, is it the one I looked at in the window?"

"I saw that one, but I preferred the platinum version." he grinned again as her eyes widened at the word platinum.

"I can't believe you remembered, but really this must've been expensive. Should I put it on now?"

"Definitely," Derek said, "but no bracelet is complete without a charm" he pulled out the other box and laid it in her hand. Meredith opened it, unclipping it from its placeholder and holding it up so she could look at it.

"A bird?"

"It's a phoenix, legend had it that when it was time for them to die they burst into flames then out of the ashes grows a new one, so it never really dies, it just goes on forever. Like links on a bracelet. I know its cheesy, I just thought it was a bit like us you know, you know what never mind. It's a bird."

"A phoenix," Meredith said out loud. "I think phoenix is perfect, I love it thank you Derek."

"Well this is our new beginning so I though whenever anything big happens we can put something new on it, and when we're old we can look back on it and remember all the amazing things we did together."

"That's really perfect Derek, really perfect. Even if i get Alzheimer's and forget everyone at least I'll have something to remember it all." she grinned at him, noticing his slight wavering smile. "I hope I don't get it, but if I do, who knows perhaps it'll help." Derek took the charm and attached it to the bracelet before clasping it onto her tiny wrist. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"Even if you do forget, I'll be there to remind you everyday. I love you Meredith."

"I love you too." She said admiring the bracelet on her wrist. Derek got the bill and the pair left quietly getting in the car for their new start. The phoenix had burnt and it was time for a new life to begin.


	5. Too loud!

**A/N- This was the original start of my story, but i decided they needed to learn to trust each other again before we got here. We have some more of the characters appearing too which is great. Enjoy :) **

"He's like a drug Cristina, he's like crack, I just want to spend all day in bed with him, and his hair and those eyes. I want to swim in his eyes. And the sex, oh my god...!" It'd been a week since Derek had confessed to kissing rose, and he'd been more attentive than usual as he tried to prove to her just how sorry he was, and how much he wanted her to know that it would never happen again. A year ago Meredith would have found his behaviour beyond annoying, but she was actually enjoying it, it meant something to her that he was sorry, and wanted her to know that.

"Oh god, please stop there." Cristina begged Meredith, preferring not to hear the intimate details of hers and Derek's sex life.

"Sorry, I just…" Meredith said, trying to stop herself saying too much.

"I think it's sweet," izzie cut in "you're really making a go of it huh?"

"I think so." Meredith grinned. "He's being so sweet and so attentive and he's doing all these little things to make me smile and it's just so nice." Izzie matched her smile and patted her on the shoulder. It was rare for Meredith to have these moments where Izzie was the only one who could appreciate the romance of the situation, so she relished the fact that Meredith had been reunited with Derek after taking so long to decide that he was what she wanted.

"So the rose thing doesn't bother you?" George said a look of utter disbelief on his face.

"At first it did, but now, not so much. I hate that he did it, but it made me realise just how much I want him and the hair and the forever after crap. And he's so damned attentive; I don't ever want to leave the house." She smiled at the thought of the sweet things he'd been doing. The bracelrt, the meals, sex in on call rooms.

"So, what are you doing for him in return?" Alex questioned, a glint in his eye that meant he was going somewhere with this.

"I'm letting him." Meredith joked "and I'm… you don't need to hear what I'm doing."

"No, I don't," Alex agreed, "but you have no qualms about letting us hear it at 2am when we all have to work the next day. No then we have to hear just how much you enjoy being back with Derek, all freaking night. I swear that headboard can't be able to take much more. It sounded like it was about to go straight through the drywall last night." Meredith had gone a deep shade of crimson, whilst Cristina was beside herself laughing.

"Well if you don't like it, you're welcome to go live somewhere else. And while we're on the subject, Derek wants to know if you can help him move the headboard out to the trash, we may have had a little accident with it." She looked at the floor in shame, unable to meet Alex's eye.

"That's what that was?" izzie exclaimed, only spurring Cristina on. "I thought maybe if the headboard finally gave out that'd be reason to stop, but no, it actually made you more, er, appreciative of shepherd." Meredith wanted the ground to swallow her up. She was mortified. Derek opened the door and Meredith ran straight to him, burying her head in his chest.

"We need new roommates." She groaned as he wrapped his arms around her kissing her hair and pulling her out of the door.

"Lucky bastard." Karev muttered as the pair left.

"Do I want to know?" Derek asked her as they made their way towards the cafeteria for a quick bite to eat and a cup of coffee before rounds.

"Alex and izzie heard us last night and heard what happened to the headboard. Apparently, they hear us quite a lot." Even in front of Derek it was embarrassing to admit, and he could be blamed for 99% of the noises that escaped her bedroom of late.

"You're a very vocal person Meredith." He teased her. "Personally I like how appreciative you are when it comes to sex." He laughed and kissed her when she merely frowned at his childishness.

"Sex talk in the breakfast queue, really?" Bailey questioned, turning to look at the two of them. "There is a time and a place, and I really don't think anyone here wants to know what you two get up to in the comfort of your own bedrooms."

"Well if all else fails, you can just tell Dr. Bailey that Karev is picking on you. I'm sure she can keep him behind and give him a good talking to." Meredith cracked a smile and swatted him playfully on the arm as she took her coffee from the barista.

"Children, the lot of them." Bailey mumbled as she walked towards the residents lounge. Derek's pager sounded and he gave Meredith a quick kiss slapping her on the butt as he walked away. Meredith squealed in surprise.

"You need to keep it down dr. grey." Derek joked as he turned the corner. Meredith watched him leave open mouthed. First Alex now Derek, she definitely had to work on being quieter.

"Oh Derek, harder, faster." Alex imitated Meredith as she sat down for lunch after giving Derek a quick kiss before his surgery. "Right there, oh you're so big. Stick it in Derek, now, oh don't stop."

"Alex, just because you can't satisfy a woman the way shepherd can doesn't mean you have to project those insecure feelings onto the rest of us." Izzie defended Meredith as her cheeks burned again.

"Oh, I know how to satisfy a woman, just ask lexie." "Oh no, I'm not a part of this." Lexie gabbled, her cheeks glowing as red as her sister's.

"Alex the noises that come from your room aren't a patch on what comes out of Meredith's. Shepherd definitely provides the better… service. I have a room between the two of you remember." Izzie jibed, knowing he was sensitive about his masculinity, even more so since Meredith had been taking things seriously with Derek.

"Oh, please Meredith is practically screaming just when he looks at her, she's totally overplaying it. No one is that good."

"I beg to differ." Meredith called out suddenly finding her voice. "Derek has a magic pe…"

"I hope this conversation is suitable for the cafeteria." Bailey scolded as she walked past with her lunch. "You certainly better not be discussing dr. grey's sex life again, as though it were somehow everybody's business." It was Alex's turn to blush as bailey left leaving him utterly speechless.

"I'll try to keep it down." Meredith said patronisingly, "but just so you know he is just that good." Her pager sounded and she downed the rest of her drink before running to answer it, leaving Alex with the image.


	6. A step forward

**A/N- This is one of my favourite chapters so far, i think for good reason, I think it encapsulates the strength Meredith found when she decided that she wanted Derek all to herself. It pretty much follows on from the one before. Enjoy :)**

"Hi," Meredith breathed as Derek pulled her into an embrace, having found her in the on call room once his surgery was over.

"I missed you." He told her. "I had to see your face again." He peppered kisses down her neck as he pulled her down onto the bed next to him. Meredith giggled as he rolled on top of her, rubbing her hands over his shoulders.

"Alex was teasing me again about last night." Meredith said as Derek's kisses moved down towards her breasts. "We need to work on being quiet when they're in the house."

"Okay." He said to quieten her as his hands roamed underneath her scrub top.

"I'm serious," she squealed as his tongue made its way to the hardened peak of her nipple. "They can hear everything, the walls aren't sound proof. They know when you're…"Derek's hands snaked down into her scrub pants, the pads of his fingers stroking her, making her moan. "I can get new roommates, keep doing that." Derek continued rubbing, his mouth moving onto her other nipple as her breath started to speed up, as she edged ever closer to her peak. They groaned when both of their pagers sounded, warning them of an incoming trauma in the pit.

"We'll finish this later." he said slipping his lab coat back on and holding up Meredith's so that she could do the same. She straightened out her scrub top and did the zip back up on her pants grabbing a quick kiss before the two of them left for the pit.

"Three guesses what you were doing." Alex jibed as the pair arrived in the ambulance bay.

"Oh, you're just jealous." Derek shot back running forward as the ambulance pulled in. Paramedic Nicole jumped down and gave them the information.

"Four car pile-up on the freeway. Multiple victims on the way, this guy is a 42 year old restrained driver, hit once before he span into the other lane and was then hit again by another car. Blunt head trauma, obvious depressed skull fracture and internal injuries. Vitals were stable in the field but his stats started to drop a few minutes ago. Leg has an obvious break, but we stabilised it in the field."

"O'Malley, come with me." Derek instructed, "he's definitely gonna need surgery." The pair ran inside with the gurney as a second ambulance pulled up.

"Ten year old female passenger, driver's side, hit by the first car. Obvious arm and leg fractures, unconscious on arrival, hasn't regained consciousness, we gave her pain relief en route but no change to her stats." Izzie wheeled her in with the paeds attending, as a third ambulance came screeching in.

"35 year old female, head on collision, impaled on shrapnel from one of the other cars, she lifted the blanket to reveal what looked like half a window protruding out from the woman's stomach. "Oh, and she's 36 weeks pregnant."

"Grey," bailey gestured to Meredith as she grabbed a hold of the gurney and began rushing inside.

"She seemed stable at the scene but she started crashing as we loaded her into the rig. We shocked her once and her rhythm came back, but I'm not sure what it did to the glass, we may have moved it more."

"Okay on my count." Bailey ordered as they reached the trauma room. "1, 2, 3" they lifted the young woman onto the gurney and began a full trauma work up. "Grey get the portable ultrasound, and page OB, I think we're gonna need them." Meredith did as she was asked, and dr. bailey scanned the woman's abdomen to check for internal injuries. As she finished her exam, the OB fellow joined them in the room, taking the ultrasound from dr. bailey. The room went silent as they listened for a heartbeat that they were all convinced wasn't there. There were gasps as a faint thudding sound echoed around the room.

"would you look at that." Bailey said shocked. "Impaled on half a windshield and still holding on, that baby's a fighter." They continued their work up before heading up to the OR to remove the glass. "You okay grey?" bailey asked her as they were scrubbing.

"Yeah, it's just, how is that kid still alive, shouldn't it be on the other end of that glass somehow?"

"It's a miracle, that's what it is." Bailey said back "we should be getting ready to tell distraught parents that the baby they've been planning for the last eight months didn't make it, but we may actually get to save the little guy. The world's a strange place grey; you gotta grab the miracles where you can. Come on let's see if we can't save two lives today."

"Grey can you take the baby." The fellow asked as she began to guide it out from the incision she'd made.

"Of course." Meredith replied as she grabbed a towel ready to receive the baby. The fellow placed the child into her arms, as she clamped off the cord and sliced through it. "It's a boy." Meredith whispered as she walked him over to the incubator. "Breath sounds are good and equal." She said as the baby began to cry. She let the paediatrician complete his checks and give the thumbs up before he left, then she wrapped the little boy up and held him to her chest. "It's okay little man, it's okay." She soothed. "I've got you, we just have to fix up your momma and then it'll all be fine."

"Meredith, if you want to take him up to the NICU, you can help with the glass when you get back." Bailey grounded her, in an attempt to bring her back to the surgery. Meredith placed the baby back in the isolette and pushed it up to the neonatal unit and signed him over to the doctors on call before returning to her OR, she hoped for his sake that the baby's mother lived. It was an awful way to start a life knowing that your mom wasn't gonna be there to see it. She scrubbed and walked back in, just as bailey was getting ready to pull the glass.

"Okay there's gonna be a lot of bleeding so I need you all to be ready. Grey, I want you to grip the glass and pull gently straight upwards, move it one millimetre from where it is now and you are gonna cause more damage, got it."

"Yes, dr. bailey." She whispered gripping onto the glass where she was instructed to, so that she wouldn't cut herself.

"On my count. I, 2, 3." Meredith slowly lifted the glass, trying to ignore the bleeding that she had instigated. When she was free from the body cavity she placed the glass onto the waiting table and joined her mentor at the table. "More lap pads." Bailey called. "Grey, see if you can locate that bleeder." Meredith placed her hands in the cavity feeling for the pulsation that indicated a bleeder.

"I got it," she said, placing her finger over the stem of the blood flow. "Clamp." She placed the clamp and the vitals began to pick up.

"Okay, I've got it from here." Said bailey. "Nice job dr. grey, you're a natural." They spent the next few hours repairing the damage from the glass, mostly superficial cuts and grazes, nothing too major. Bailey let her fellow close and she scrubbed out with Meredith, taking another opportunity to praise her work. "You kept level headed didn't panic, that's how a surgeon should be, and I was really impressed. Well done grey."

"Thanks dr. bailey, I'm glad I came back, now I get to tell that little boy that he gets to keep his momma." Meredith said, as she pumped th water pedal.

"You going back to see him? He really made quite the impression huh?" Bailey looked up at her, smiling at her resident's commitment to the case.

"I guess I just didn't want him to turn out like me, I wanted him to know he at least had someone looking out for him even if it was just a doctor." she said, trying to hide the pain at the thought of another child feeling asunloved as she had countless times during her childhood.

"Well that's nice that you wanted to help him, nice to see your maternal instincts shining through there." Meredith laughed as she dried her hands ready to leave. "And grey?"

"Yeah?"

"You were never gonna be just a doctor." Meredith left a smile on her face. Not just a doctor. Maybe she wouldn't end up being ordinary after all.

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

"They said I'd find you here." Derek said walking into the NICU a few hours later. "How long was I in that surgery?" Meredith smiled at his joke.

"This is my miracle baby." She told him, "his mom got impaled on a piece of glass that went straight through her abdomen, but he still made it out okay, not a scratch on him. I felt bad leaving him on his own so I came to sit with him until his mom wakes up." She looked down at the little life in her arms smiling when he gave an almighty yawn, placing her finger in his palm. "It's been a busy day, hasn't it? Yes it has. I'm real tired too, but I have to keep working, because there are lots of poorly people to look after, yes there is, yeah." Derek watched her interact with the little boy imagining what she'd be like if they had their own baby someday. She definitely had a maternal instinct, and the baby looked content in her arms. She looked up at him quizzically. "This could be us one day." She said without thinking "I mean you know if someone we know gets pregnant or whatever." She corrected herself, until she saw his smile fade. "We could have one too, but you know not til I'm done with my residency and we're married or whatever." She stopped herself, and started to lay the baby back in the isolette. "Er so I better be getting back to my patients. I'll see you at home. Okay." She rushed past Derek, cursing at herself for not being able to keep her mouth shut. Derek smiled to himself; Meredith grey wanted a marriage and babies, his babies. He'd definitely have to hold her to that one.

"I'm an idiot." Meredith told Cristina as they were changing.

"You're an idiot," Cristina agreed "why are you an idiot?"

"I accidentally told Derek I wanted to get married and have kids." She pulled a face at Cristina, who laughed at her friend's apparent foolishness.

"Wow, you are an idiot, how do you manage to accidentally tell someone that?"

"I had a baby in my arms and the words just kept coming out. I got out of there before I could start planning wedding cakes and bridesmaid's gowns." She replied, knowing it was no excuse.

"See I told you, babies are toxic." Cristina reminded her as she slipped on her shoe.

"You got that right." She said grabbing her bag and pulling her shoes out. Cristina got up and made for the door.

"And Mer, if you ever force me to wear a frilly pink gown I am gonna kick your ass." Meredith laughed and followed her out.

"Better get home before I ask him to marry me again." She chuckled as Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Oh Mer, you are such an idiot."

MDMDMDMDMD

Meredith cringed as she remembered she and Derek had driven in together, cursing herself even more for not keeping her mouth shut. She spotted Derek waiting for her in the lobby. "Hey," he said, "you ready to go?"

"Yeah," she said following him out. "About what I said earlier, I didn't mean..."

"Meredith," he said turning to look at her. "I know you're not ready yet. Small steps. Maybe we should start by moving in together, something small. If it doesn't work out, we'll just go back to how we are now, it's fine."

"You want to move in together?" she asked, knowing her face was probably showing something close to terrified.

"Or something smaller." Derek countered, not wanting to scare her.

"No, moving in is good," She assured him, "I like moving in."

"Okay so we're thinking about moving in." Meredith stopped him with a kiss.

"Less thinking, more doing." She teased opening the car door, and shutting it when he tried to follow her in, licking her lips behind the glass. Derek tried to compose himself before getting in his side of the car.

"Dr. Grey, you're a tease." He warned trying not to react to her advances, instead concentrating on driving. His breath caught in his throat as she ran her hand further and further up his thigh. "I'm gonna crash this thing in a minute." He chuckled, willing her to carry on but knowing he shouldn't encourage her.

"Okay," she said seductively, slowly dragging her hand away. "I'll just have to think about all the things I want to do to you instead." Derek groaned, willing the drive to be over soon so that he could do all the things she was thinking about. He focussed on their decision instead. Moving in. Meredith grey 24/7 now there was a life he could get used to.

**A/N- I know he pretty much lived there for most of their relationship, but I felt like it needed to be official as I think it's quite a big step for Meredith, but one I think she's glad he instigated. I have chapters written but not quite ready, so I'll get them up when I can. Thanks to those who've already reviewed, you're awesome! :) **


	7. Telling it how it is

**A/N- I wanted to stick sort of to the events in the actual show, not exactly on the same timeline, but there are aspects of the show that I wanted to hang onto, and that means it can't be totally smooth sailing for Meredith and Derek, I'm just hoping that I'm slightly nicer to the pair of them than Shonda!**

On Friday night, they were all home by eight, so she took the opportunity to tell her friends that she was moving Derek into the house. She buttered them up by ordering in, getting pizza and Chinese food to suit their tastes. She even let them eat in the lounge, so they knew that Meredith was doing more than just being kind.

"What's with the food Mer?" Alex asked her with a mouth full of noodles.

"Yeah," Izzie agreed "are you trying to bribe us with junk food?"

"Well, you know how Derek and I have been dating again?" Meredith began, playing with her hands and trying to make some kind of eye contact.

"It's rather more than dating but yeah." Alex sneered reaching for pizza.

"I kinda sorta asked him to move in." she waited for the anger and protests but they didn't come.

"Are you expecting us to move out?" Izzie questioned her

"No." Meredith was quick to add. "We'll stay in my room, and probably convert my mother's den into an office for him but that's it, everything else is the same."

"Well that's fine then, when's moving day?" Izzie said as she bit into her own slice of pizza.

"Wait you're not mad, I expected arguing and rage." Meredith said, her pepperoni falling onto her plate with a splat as she lost grip on the slice she'd picked up.

"He practically lives here anyway Mer. I don't think I've had a breakfast in a month where the two of you weren't fondling each other at the table. Now we have a guy I can watch the game with who actually gets the rules." Alex joked, earning himself an evil look from O'Malley.

"So you're okay with it? I can tell him to start packing up his stuff?" Alex and Izzie both nodded, Meredith looked over at George. "George, are you okay with Derek moving in?" George shuffled in his seat a little and looked over at lexie who was joining them for dinner.

"Well, it doesn't really have much of an impact on me; I'm not going to be here anymore to know." he mumbled the last bit in the hope that the others wouldn't hear him, stuffing a large forkful of rice into his mouth in the hope Meredith wouldn't make him talk again.

"What?" Meredith spat, sounding unintentionally angry at George's suggestion. "You're leaving? When? Why?"

"Well, Derek is always here, and you can probably do with the extra space. Plus I'm an intern again, so I spend all my time with other interns or at the hospital, so when Lexie said she was looking to move out of her, your dad's house, I thought why not. I'll still see you guys at work, I'm still gonna be your intern Meredith. It just made sense to get a place with other interns."

"So you don't want to live here because I'm your boss now? George, we said we wouldn't make it awkward. You're repeating your intern test soon. I thought…" she hadn't expected the tears to well in her eyes, but they did. This was George; they'd been together since day one. He'd encouraged her to forgive Derek, chatted with him over beers, and made him feel welcome when he was here without her. She didn't want George to leave.

"Meredith, it was my idea." Lexie said in George's defence. "I've wanted to get away from dad's house for months now, and be closer to the hospital. I knew how hard it's been for George to live here with all of you when he should be doing his residency with you all, so I asked him if he wanted to find a place." Meredith sniffed, willing the tears in her eyes to go away.

"Fine." She said her tone a little short. "Just let me know when you're going and I'll take your name off of everything." She put down her dinner and made for the door, picking up her bag and sliding her feet into a pair of converse. She knew the tears weren't going to stay away for long. She got in the car, driving instinctively towards the hospital, knowing Derek would be finished soon. She headed inside, making her way towards the elevator to find him. She got off and looked up, spotting him walking down the corridor towards her. He saw her leave the elevator, grinning at the surprise but when he saw the tears in her eyes his expression changed to one of concern, worried about what could have upset her so much that she needed to come and find him.

"Mer." He called out to her. "Mer, what's wrong? What happened?"

"George." She uttered, the tears beginning to fall. "He's moving out." She rested her head on his chest as he held her, shushing her as he kissed her hair. He guided her back towards the elevator and up to his office. "He's moving out and he didn't even tell me Derek. He was just gonna leave and go live with Lexie and just not tell me." Lexie. Derek knew that she was still struggling a little to accept Lexie into her life long term and this wasn't going to help at all.

"What did he say?" Derek prodded, hoping there was something he could say to make her feel better about the whole situation.

"I didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I asked him if he was ok with you moving in and he told me he was leaving to go with Lexie." Her breaths had steadied somewhat and she'd pulled herself out of his embrace so that she could look at him properly. "He said he wanted to give us all space and live with the interns. And Lexie said he was finding it really hard living with us after he failed the exam and... Derek, I don't want George to leave. He's like my brother; it would be weird without him."

"I know." Derek soothed. "But I'll be there to make you feel better. And that's one less person to listen in on our late night rendez vous."

"I didn't think of that." She purred as he began to kiss her neck, bending her over his desk and sliding his hands inside her shirt.

"Plus, we'd want them all out eventually so maybe this is a good thing." He went back to kissing her, but she pushed him away and sat up on the desk.

"What? Why?" she jumped down from the desk and straightened her sweater over her shirt.

"Do you really want to still be living with your roommates when we're married or have a baby? Come on Meredith. Be realistic." Meredith growled, her face suddenly becoming furious.

"What are you talking about Derek. We're nowhere near having a baby or getting married. We're not even moved in yet, I'm not even thinking about that stuff. I'm a second year resident Derek, I don't have time for any of that at the moment."

"When will you have time Meredith?" he shouted back, furious at Meredith's fickleness. "When you're a fourth year, taking on extra surgeries so you can announce your specialty. Or when you're studying for your boards as a fifth year, or picking fellowships. Or when you're a board certified surgeon and responsible for an entire department, needing to stay to look after patients or babysit your interns. There's never going to be a good time Meredith. Not for you. I don't know why you even agreed to move in with me. It's obvious that you don't even have the time for a partner or a love life. God Meredith, no wonder George wanted out." He immediately regretted his words as they left his mouth. "Meredith I didn't mean that." He called out to her as she picked up her bag and began to storm out of the room.

"No, you said it Derek, it's my fault George is leaving. It's my fault that it terrifies me that I'm doing this huge thing by letting you move in. It's my fault for being so goddam ordinary." She stormed out hot fat tears falling down her cheeks as she ran straight into mark. He steadied her in his arms but she just pushed her way out of them running down the stairs. Derek ran after her shouting her name.

"Meredith come back." Mark held out a hand stopping him.

"Leave her man. Whatever it is, just give her some time to cool off, talk to her when you're both a little calmer. Going in mad isn't doing anyone any favours."

"You're right. She just, she says she's not ready for marriage or a family, but she so is. It's all these little things she does. They just. Come with me." He ushered mark towards his office, opening a draw and pulling out his diary.

"What's that?" said mark sitting in the chair opposite Derek.

"When I was trying to decide between Meredith and Addison, I used to make a note of all the days when I knew that either of them wanted the same things as me." Mark frowned, but let Derek continue. He flipped back to a date over a year ago. "Look here's when we were dating, when she came to the trailer for the first time and the prom."

"So you gave her a tick every time she gave you sex?"

"No not just for sex, like telling me things. Telling me about her mom when it was bad for her. Silly things that she didn't do before. Now look at now." He flipped to the last month of his diary; ticks adorn every page getting bigger and brighter as they get to today.

"Wow, that's a lot of good things, you guys really do go at it like rabbits, don't you?"

"Only one of those was sex." Derek boasted, looking for particular days. "This one, she had this little baby up in the NICU, and she actually said that she could see us with one, and be married and all of that. That was the night we agreed to move in together. Well before I went and ruined it. Even today, when she was screaming that she didn't have time, she never said she wasn't totally ready. And I just undid it all." he rested his face against his palms. Mark looked at him with concern.

"You didn't do anything, look lets go to Joe's, have a couple of beers, and when you're calmed down maybe you can call her and just talk to her. Or sex, whatever it is you two do when you're mad."

"Yeah, okay." Derek said grabbing his coat, "but if you use me as your wingman, I'm telling the girl you're gay."

"You're no fun." Mark jibed as the pair left for the bar. A depressed Derek and a lack of action with the ladies, this was gonna be a long night.

**A/N- Don't worry, it's just a fight, they just need to cool off. They'll get there happily ever after I promise :)**


	8. You're stuck with me!

**A/N- I promised I'd fix it, and I have. I wanted some Meredith and Cristina time, but I think deep down Cristina wants Meredith to have her happily ever after as much as Meredith wanted Cristina to walk down the aisle. Again thanks for your reviews and follows and favourites. Enjoy :)**

Meredith buzzed for Christina's apartment, praying that she wasn't on call or asleep.

"Yeah." Came her voice on the intercom.

"Let me in." Meredith pleaded, her request granted when the door buzzed allowing her into the building.

"what's up?" Cristina asked, a pint of ice cream in one hand a spoon in the other, an old movie playing on the TV.

"George is leaving. Going with lexie. Me and Derek big fight. We. He. Not. Moving in anymore." She stammered out between sobs.

"Whoa, mer. Slow down." Cristina said putting the ice cream into Meredith's hand and gesturing her to sit down on the couch next to her. "Start with O'Malley." She said passing Meredith a clean spoon.

"He's moving out." Meredith sniffed spooning ice cream into her mouth. "He's going to live with lexie somewhere."

"Bastard." Cristina scoffed as she went in for some of the ice cream in Meredith's hand. "You gave him a home for the last year, consoled him when he failed his intern exam, and he goes off with three? What does she say about all this?"

"just that George has found it really hard living with residents while he repeats and that she wants to get away from her dad and thought George would want to go play house with her."

"God, what is that about?" Cristina sneered as she put a chunk of the frozen dessert in her mouth.

"I know, so I got the hell out of there. And I told Derek and he tells me how this is a good thing, how when we get married and have babies we're not going to want roommates. We haven't even moved in yet Cristina, and I'm supposed to kick out my friends and get my legs in the stirrups ready to push a baby out." Cristina giggled.

"I can see it now, you all covered in sweat on an exam table, exposed to the world, tiny human making its way out of you, just letting everyone know they have to be out before you're done."

"Oh stop it." Meredith giggled too and pushed Cristina playfully. "That's not even the worst part. I said to Derek that I didn't have time to have a kid just yet, and he said it was my fault that George was leaving, and that I clearly didn't want him to move in if I was so desperate to keep living with izzie and Alex and George."

"Oh, mcbastard!" Cristina said jumping up off the sofa and taking the ice cream from Meredith.

"Hey!" Meredith whined, licking what was left on her spoon as Cristina put the tub away.

"Oh quit whining and get up, we're going to Joe's." Meredith reluctantly got up and put her spoon in the dishwasher.

"Fine." She said, "But you're buying." The pair walked out of the building and down the street to Joe's, completely oblivious to the familiar black car parked in lot.

Meredith and Cristina went in and found a booth before sitting down and poring over the menu trying to decide what to eat.

"I can't believe you brought all that food and then didn't even stay to eat it. I mean you walk out at least pick up a slice of pizza." Cristina joked.

"Fine, I'm an idiot." Meredith surrendered. "But I'm a hungry idiot, so just order already so I can actually get to eat something today."

"Okay, how about some chilli cheese fries and a tray of tequilas?" Cristina suggested, knowing she wouldn't have to come up with any other ideas for food and drinks. She knew Meredith, and that meant she knew what Meredith's food habits were like too.

"Oh, perfect. I'm so in the mood for fries." She moaned in appreciation of the thought.

"Okay, I'm going now before you orgasm over my fries idea. It's just food mer. Remember that." Cristina scoffed "just go." Meredith commanded laughing with her person. She looked around the bar to see who else had made it over to the bar that night. She stopped when she saw a familiar figure, his back to her, his perfectly coiffed head bent down, mark Sloan's hand on his shoulder. He looked sad. She didn't want him to be sad, not really, she just wanted him to understand how scary this whole thing was for her. She took a few steps towards him, catching mark's eye. She tilted her head at him to tell him to leave them for a second. He walked to the booth Meredith had been sitting in and watched as she took a seat opposite Derek, her hand instinctively travelling to his hair. He looked up and met her eyes, her kind, forgiving eyes drawing him in the same way they did the night they met.

"Meredith…"

"Shh…" she whispered, placing her finger on his lips. "I'm sorry I freaked and walked out on you. I wanted to be sad about George and you showing me the bigger picture was scary, but you were right, I do want those things with you, and there's never going to be enough time, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try and make time. I want a lifetime Derek, I do. Right now I still need to take the small steps, but Derek, when it's the right time for us to do all those things, I'm in. you're stuck with me." Derek smiled and looked deep into those green-blue orbs of hers.

"I'm sorry too." He said wrapping his arms around her waist. "I shouldn't have snapped, I know you still need time to get to that place, and I'm gonna be right here when you do. You can be sad about George if you need to be, and when you're done being sad we can be happy about all the things we're looking forward to. I'm not leaving, ever. You're stuck with me too." Cristina peeked over Derek's shoulder holding the baskets of fries before heading back to their booth.

"I guess we're stuck together then." She whispered, and he planted a kiss on her face lifting her up out of her seat eliciting whistles and cheers from the people around them. He put her down and she grabbed his hand pulling him back to the booth. She downed her tequila and grabbed a handful of the fries.

"I have to go start the rest of my life." She told Cristina, dropping Derek's hand and reaching into her wallet for some cash for her food and their drinks. "Feel free to finish up my share." She told mark as Derek lifted her into his arms and made for the door with her. She fed him a fry before eating what was left in her hand.

"Chilli cheese? Really?" Derek said trying to make the taste disappear. "What are you twelve?"

"Oh shush." She pouted "you're stuck with me remember, that means my twelve year old appetite too!" she kissed him with her chilli covered lips making him groan in disgust.

"God help our kids." He chuckled earning him one of her killer smiles and a kiss on the cheek. Stuck with Meredith grey. He could do a lot worse. He could learn to live with chilli cheese fries and little freak outs. For Meredith he'd do anything. She was good for him. He just needed to find the next small step for them, something to focus on, something she could hold onto while George moved out and things changed again. For now he just had to get her home, small steps could wait until the morning.

Cristina and Mark watched them leave, finishing the fries and the last few tequila shots. They were Meredith and Derek's people, they'd done the drama and the tears for long enough to know that they just needed a little time apart to get grounded and they'd kiss and make up. They might consider themselves all grown up but they were like any couple, particularly surgeon couples, they were still teenagers inside. They had their fights, they bitched and moaned and they got it back on track, they fought for their relationship. Cristina and Mark just had to give them the little push that they needed, that's what friends did, they fought alongside each other. When something was as right as Meredith and Derek, it was always worth fighting for.

**A/N- This is the end of the continuous piece i had written, it should fall much more nicely into chapters now except for some of the bigger things which are in desperate need of being split up a bit. I'll try and have chapter 9 up in the next day or so :)**


	9. Clearing the air

**A/N- a little bit of George and Meredith, they never did talk as much as they could have, and I liked their friendship early on. **

"How's it going?" Mark asked Derek as they walked back from the coffee cart together. He was referring to George and Meredith who had barely spoken a word since Meredith walked out on him a few days previously. She wasn't talking to Lexie much either, but that wasn't that unusual.

"I thought she was making progress this morning, she actually acknowledged his presence by leaving enough coffee for him to grab a cup, but they're still not talking. Izzie is going out of her mind trying to get them to say something to each other, but they're just not ready. Meredith'll come around, she just needs time to digest it, they've been together since day one, when he came back after Callie she figured he'd stay, she just feels a little betrayed that he hadn't mentioned anything. It'll be fine." Derek rambled as Mark nodded, only half listening.

"It better be, Grey's on my service today, and if she can't even talk to O'Malley then I'm not even going to think about letting her scrub in." Mark picked up a chart from the nurses station, glancing over the changes in his patient overnight.

"They're professional, they won't let their thing get in the way of patient care, she'll talk about the patient, just not anything else." Derek walked into the attendings' lounge, pulling some fresh scrubs out ready for his surgery after rounds.

"I'm trusting you Shepherd, one wrong move and they're both on scut." Derek nodded, knowing there was little he could say or do to make Meredith or George speak. They both had a stubborn streak, he just had to hope that one of them finally gave in and spoke.

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"George, we have rounds." Meredith said, trying to extend an olive branch to her intern, she hated not talking to George, and was really starting to miss having someone to talk to when rounds got tedious and during the spaces between surgery and checking on patients.

"Okay, I'm coming." he replied with a faint smile, grateful for some kind of communication with her. He'd tried talking to her once, but she rushed off before he could say anything substantial, they'd been in a kind of limbo and he'd hated it. After Izzie, Meredith was his best friend, even after all the drama that had passed between them since they met. Meredith smiled back, holding the door for him to come and join her and the other interns as they rounded on their patients together.

When they got to Dr. Sloan's patient's room, he shot the pair of them a look that meant he was taking no nonsense today. "This is Ryan Miller, twenty four, scheduled for reconstructive surgery of the face following a dog attack. He came in yesterday and had emergency surgery to correct a displaced fracture and to stop the bleeding in his abdomen, during which his SATs dropped and the decision made that he needed to be more stable before further surgery was completed." Meredith announced to the group, who were trying no to stare at the large dressings covering the young man's face.

"What are we most concerned with here?" Mark asked them pointing to George when several of the interns raised their hands.

"Despite the antibiotics and the frequent dressing changes, infection remains the biggest concern along with the blood loss from the area.

"So what would you recommend we do to avoid that becoming a problem?" Mark followed, giving George a hard stare that he saved for interns.

"Continuing with a high dose of antibiotic during post op and for several days afterwards, and regular check ups after he's discharged. Type specific blood should be available in the OR, and we need to be aware of the fact that removing and clotted blood from the surface of the injuries may cause excessive bleeding." George said, trying to avoid Mark's glare.

"Okay then, Grey, O'Malley, get my patient prepped and ready I'll see you in the OR." the other interns dispersed, each heading towards their assigned cases. Meredith pulled on her gloves, looking at George as he checked the vitals and began the pre-op checks on their patient.

"George, about the other day," she began.

"Mer, it's fine, I should've spoken to you at a better time rather than letting Lexie tell you then and there. You did a lot for me and it made me look ungrateful, so I'm sorry. I am gonna miss living in the house, and if you had more rooms, I think I'd've liked too have stayed. Moving to yours was a big step for me, and it's still like home, I just think it's time to move on. No Callie, no Izzie, just a fresh start. Like you and Derek, this is the new phoenix or whatever." George smiled at her as he checked the patient's blood pressure.

"I shouldn't have walked away." Meredith admitted "I was on edge about telling everyone about Derek and I acted irrationally. I should've just spoken to you when I got home, instead of letting it become awkward. I'm just really gonna miss you George." She stopped herself before she started crying again. "So any luck finding a place?"

"Actually, yeah. We've found a couple of places in our budget, we just have to look at them and decide which one we'd like to take. They're not as nice as the house, but they have the amenities. They just need a little work." He said, seeming genuinely happy at his decision to move in with Lexie.

"That's really great," Meredith replied, a smile reaching her lips as she pulled George in for a hug. "If you need help with your stuff, just shout, I'm sure Derek or I could help you with moving it or whatever. He can lift stuff and be all manly, and I guess I can help Lexie brighten it up a little."

"That sounds great." George agreed as they got ready to move the patient. "You will have to talk to her though. She's nice, the apple thing is a little weird but aside from that she's pretty great. She's a lot like you, you know. If you weren't so dark and twisty you'd probably be just like her." Meredith laughed at the idea that she could be anywhere near as happy and perky as Lexie was. Meredith wasn't the prom queen type. She had been valedictorian, but her speech was more about dismissing the popular crowd as ordinary than celebrating how much they'd all achieved. She was redeemed by th salutatorian who made her speech seem like a jokey lighthearted thing instead of an attack on those who barely scraped through to graduation. She was far from being like Lexie Grey, until recently she hadn't even believed it was possible to have a relationship that didn't involve spending a night with a guy and kicking him out before breakfast. Maybe she should be a little more like Lexie, maybe dark and twisty Meredith was ready to be bright and shiny.

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Derek leaned against the nurses' station next to Mark, watching as the pair began to talk more, Meredith even letting out a giggle after a while. The dark cloud was finally moving away from the pair's heads, something he was grateful for. Meredith needed George, he and Karev were like her brothers, and she ran to them almost as often as she ran to Cristina. He took one last look before following Mark towards the ORs, confident that not only would they get through the surgery but that they'd be okay afterwards. Meredith had been right, she really was making progress.

**A/N- a bit fillerish I know, but I felt like they were in a bad place and needed to clear the air on their own without being forced to talk when they weren't ready. I love making Meredith think about things too and at this point she's still quite insecure, and only just learning to let her guard down with everyone not just Cristina. It seemed to me that after Europe she had little time for herself or friends because responsibility got in the way, so I like the idea of her allowing herself to be a little bit ordinary by having a good group of close friends is probably a good thing. :)**


	10. Plans

**A/N- this is not dissimilar to what happened in the show, I just think there's a more tactful way of bringing it in to the show. I've tried to show a little of how much Meredith has grown without Derek even realising, giving him more faith in her too. Enjoy :)**

Derek was nervous. Maybe even terrified. He'd been up way before the alarm going over what he'd say to Meredith to get her on board with his plan for them. It'd only been a week since their fight. They weren't even properly moved in yet, and here he was bringing up the possibility of building them a house for their future children. She had barely gotten over George's announcement and he was about to hit her with even more change. He knew she would probably think it was way too soon, but if he was honest, he'd been waiting for her to freak out and send him away long before now, and she hadn't, so maybe it was the right time. She had forgiven him for kissing rose when he was waiting for her to be ready, she'd been the bigger person, letting him in even after he'd let her down. He didn't know if there'd ever be a perfect time but if he didn't tell her his plans then he just might explode with excitement. Though if he was being honest, he had a feeling that if it wasn't now, then he'd never find the guts. Walking into their room he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and kissed her.

"Hi," Meredith breathed as Derek kissed her neck, taking her by surprise when he walked into her bedroom as she was slipping on a pair of jeans and a sweater ready for work. Opening her eyes again, she spotted the cardboard tube in his hand. "What's that?" '_the next ten years of our lives'_ he thought, trying to find the right words.

"Um... don't freak out ok, this is just an idea, it doesn't have to be right away, I just wanted to show you. Get your opinion. It doesn't mean anything or anything, I'm just putting it out there." He explained pathetically, as Meredith's brow furrowed in confusion and apprehension at how the contents of a cardboard tube could make him think that she was about to flip out at him, and run for the hills.

"Okay." She whispered, emphasizing the second syllable. "Why am I gonna freak out? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything yet; I just wanted to get your opinion on something. I…" he stopped when Meredith took the tube from him, opening it and emptying the contents onto the bed.

"What are these, blueprints?" she asked as she unrolled the blue papers, and laying them in front of her. "Why do you have blueprints?" he looked at her, scared that she might just jump out of the window, his expression softening somewhat when he saw that she was smiling. "Kids' rooms, big bathtub, room for swing set…" she read off, pointing to each room as she spoke its name. "Are you buying us a house Derek?" she grinned up at him, making his heart skip a beat as he saw the thrilled look in her eyes, and her utter excitement at a place of their own. "Cause you know I have a house, we're in it right now."

"Well, I sort of wanted a house that was just ours, without our strays, and rather than just buying someone else's place, I thought maybe I'd build us one instead. That way it's ours, it's just our memories there." He said sitting down behind her on the bed and pulling her into his lap. "I've got room on my land to build on, and I thought that it'd be nice for our kids to grow up with the big back yard, the lake and the trees. I could teach them to fish, and we could camp outside on warm nights, and our bedroom could have a view of the whole of Seattle. We could have a deck and a grill and…" he rambled feeling her excitement building as he told her about each feature of his plan.

"How many kids are we gonna have?" Meredith asked turning in his lap so she could see his face.

"I was thinking maybe five?" he told her honestly.

"Five?" she gasped, convincing Derek that she was as he thought about to run, before she giggled at the scared expression on his face. "I was thinking maybe two. I have to give birth to them remember!" her giggle. His favourite noise in the world, one that he wanted to hear every day until the day he died.

"Well, we can just see how it goes with those two, and see from there." She looked disapprovingly at him before putting her hands on his cheeks and kissing him with all that she had. As they pulled away, she hopped out of his lap and headed towards the door, turning around just before she left the room

"Two Derek. I don't think I could cope with five chatty children with perfect hair and god complexes."

"Okay mer." He told her, following her out of the door, "Two would be perfect."

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"Hey guess what?" Meredith questions Christina as she enters the residents lounge "Derek's building us a house in the woods."

"Really?" said Cristina smirking at Meredith's revelation. "And that's not all, he wants us to have five kids Cristina, five!"

"Are you freaking out?" Cristina asks, confused by how calm Meredith seems with Derek's suggestion.

"Actually, no." Meredith confessed, "I'm actually kind of excited about the whole thing. I think I've grown up at last."

"Wow!" Christina chuckled, "well I guess I'm proud. Go have five little mcdreamys with perfect hair and tiny little scalpels in the woods with all the nature. I'll be here when you're ready to freak out!" Meredith laughed, knowing that even just a few months ago house plans would have scared her, and she'd've done all that she could to avoid them and Derek for coming up with it. Cristina smiled at her person. The pair of them were so close that often they didn't need words, they had facial expressions, mannerisms that spoke volumes. It was one of those moments. Much like Ellis, Cristina found it hard to say how proud she really, but Meredith knew that Cristina was honestly happy that things were going right for her friend. Their moment was interrupted when their former resident came hurrying in the door.

"Yang! Grey! What are you still doing in here?" Bailey scolded. "Rounds started two minutes ago!"

"Coming dr. bailey" they called back, following quickly behind their senior resident, both of their faces lit up with matching smiles. Even with entire lifetimes that were evidence to the contrary, it seemed as though Meredith may be getting her happily ever after after all.

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"Cristina said she was proud of me today." Meredith informed Derek as they walked across the parking lot after a long day of surgeries.

"She did?" he asked as he opened her door for her before walking around to undo his own.

"Yeah, now that I'm all grown up and healed." She giggled. "She did agree with me though," she added

"what's that?" Derek enquired wondering what the twisted sisters were about to hit him with.

"We're gonna need a much bigger bathtub than you suggested if we're gonna have those five chatty children."

"Done!" he agreed placing his hand on her thigh, smiling at how well things were coming together. He laid down the plans, and she'd stayed happily by his side now all he had to do was just make good on them.

**A/N- Yay, house plans! I think the house is so typically Derek that it needs to be there. I'm having a lot of fun with grown up healed Meredith so I think I'm gonna lay off the freak outs for a while and just let her be happy :)**


	11. Small Decisions

**A/N- Bit of a filler, but Meredith needed some input.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Grey's anatomy or anyone resembling any of the characters.**

When Derek got out of the shower, with nothing more than a towel around his waist, he found Meredith sat on their bed, his blueprints covering every space, a notebook in her hand, listing the changes she wanted to make to their house. His breath caught when he realised she was looking at the plan for the uppermost floor. The one he'd decided would be for theirs and their children's bedrooms. He stood and watched her for a few minutes, only sitting down when he saw he begin to frown at the document on her lap.

"What's wrong?" he prodded gently hoping that she'd share her thoughts with him.

"The kids rooms are too small Derek!" she scolded him "that nursery is nowhere near big enough for all the baby furniture. And where are our kids toys gonna be if we force them to live in these little shoebox rooms? And I don't see why we need a guest room upstairs, no one's ever going to be a guest in our house if they can't sleep because there'll be 5 chatty children who snore, and I'll snore and they'll never be able to get to sleep…" Derek interrupted her with a kiss, but she quickly pulled away from him. "Derek, this is our life, I need you to care about it for a moment."

"Okay okay, we'll fix it." He soothed, taking some of the other blueprints into his hands. How about we move the guest room downstairs, and we can put a playroom in here," he said pointing to various points on another blueprint.

"Well then the kitchen is smaller" she retorted.

"Well we'll just take out the breakfast bar." He stated, thinking this would solve the matter.

"No!" she said.

"No?" He raised an eyebrow as he tried to see the problem.

"No, we need the breakfast bar, so we can all sit down as a family on Saturday mornings and eat together, like families are supposed to. Just like we need the space in the living room for the baby swing that we'll need, and the beanbags for film nights" she frowned when she realised Derek was laughing at her. "We may as well just not have any kids, seeing as their father wants them all to live like battery hens with no breakfast bar or room for cushions or… or…" Derek kissed her again, letting go of his towel and laying them both down on the bed, her head against his chest breathing in the smell of his soap.

"We'll just make it bigger mer," he said pushing her away so that he could look into her eyes. "We'll do whatever you need. Whatever our kids need, we'll do it. We have the space, we have the money, we'll do whatever you need to make it perfect." He laughed again.

"What?" she frowned.

"Nothing." He reassured her "I just didn't think that this was the part you were gonna freak out about."

"Like I said," she informed him "all grown up and healed."

"Well, you know what grownups do," he said kissing her neck, sucking on the places that he knew she liked. Groaning as her hand snaked under his towel and stroked him gently, taking him in her hands as he began to undo the buttons on her blouse, pushing the material down her arms as she began kissing his chest, moving up to his neck, her jeans rubbing against the towel, causing him to harden against her. She undid the button, and slid the pants down her legs, throwing them down on the ground as her lips found his, her tongue snaking in and out of his mouth, as they both began to breathe heavily, their heart rhythms perfectly in sync. As Derek slipped Meredith's panties off, and rolled her onto her back, he swept the blueprints down onto the floor, moving his kisses back down onto her neck, taking her breasts into his hands, massaging her nipples between his fingers as she gasped at his touch. She whipped the towel out from beneath him, leaving them both naked on the bed, her hands reached down to him, as she tried to guide him towards her, but when he pulled away she began rubbing the warmth of her folds, making her hips rock against his, moaning once again when he took her nipple into his mouth and replaced her fingers with his own, knowing she would peak soon and encouraging her to go over the edge. As she began to scream, he teased her with the tip of his erection, knowing how much she wanted him there, but dragging their pleasure out as long as he could.

"Now Derek" she gasped, grinding her hips into his groin, grabbing his ass in her hands, pulling him closer to her. He finally obliged, and she gasped as he pushed further into her, waiting for her body to accommodate his size. "move" she groaned, her breath catching in her throat as he slowly withdrew from her, and thrust hard into her, making her moan beneath him. She bucked her hips, to get him to move again, and he obliged, slowly withdrawing and thrusting until she screamed out in anticipation. "faster" she screamed "harder" he obliged, increasing his pace, and grabbing hold of her hands, pinning them above her head as he drove deeper within her, continuing until he felt her walls begin to spasm around him, and her screams grow louder, sweat shimmering on her forehead, knowing he could wait no longer he let himself go, making her scream again, her heartbeat audible even from his place above her. He collapsed down on her, his head on her chest, as they both came down from their highs, catching their breaths and holding each other, neither breathing a word, savouring the fact that this was the start of their future together. This grown up and healed. This was perfect.

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While Meredith slept, Derek decided to call his mother, it was early morning in New York, but he had no doubts that she'd be awake, probably sat with a cup of coffee reading the newspaper waiting for one of her kids or grandkids to ring or drop by, she was rarely without someone in the house or on the phone. He felt as though he had to call her now, she'd phoned a few weeks before and Meredith had answered, spending nearly an hour on the phone with her before Derek walked through the door with the groceries he'd popped out to get. When she'd passed the phone over his mother had gushed about what a lovely girl she was and made Derek an offer which hadn't really crossed his mind until now. He walked into Alex's room, he was on call so wasn't home, and dialled the familiar number, listening to the rings until his mothers voice echoed on the other end.

"Hello?" She answered looking at the caller ID as she brought the phone to her ear. "Is that you Derek, sweetheart?"

" Hi Mom," Derek said, keeping his voice down, Meredith was asleep in the next room and he didn't want her to wake up and hear what he was saying. "I need to talk to you about the offer you made me."

"I knew it." Carolyn said from the other end of the phone. "I knew she was the one for you. Half an hour on the phone and I knew. When baby?"

"Um…" he pondered. "I think soon. I need to get a few things straightened out, but I think I'm ready, and I'm fairly sure she feels the same way. I haven't slept at the trailer for weeks now. Mark things I'm neglecting him because I want to be with her all the time. I just… I think it's time ma."

"Derek, when you told me you wanted to marry Addison, I supported you. I knew it took you a long time to get to a place where you felt you could commit to another human being and I knew that you thought it was the right thing. So we stood and we watched you marry her and buy a house and achieve all those things with your careers. I watched as you lost your spark and you got lost in the day to day stuff. The things you thought you should be doing with the people you thought you should associate with. And then when Addison…" she cut off not wanting to remind him of his ex-wife's disgressions and the pain it had caused him. "When she did what she did, I saw how relieved you were. I saw you find a way to escape; I saw the twinkle in your eyes when you said that Seattle was your new home. And when you told me about Meredith, I heard it, I heard my Derek again. She brought you back to life Derek. Even when you tried again with Addison. When that bomb went off, you weren't telling me about addy or about burke, you were telling me about Meredith, how brave Meredith was, how scared you were when you were told that it was her. If it'd been Addison on that table after you pulled her out of the water would you have let them carry on, would you have fought to bring her back, sat outside her room and cried. No, of course not. She was a nice placeholder, but Meredith, Meredith is your soul mate. When you weren't home and she answered your phone, she didn't tell me about how wonderful or terrible things were in her life, she told me what a wonderful son I raised, how he made her feel special, and safe, like she could achieve anything. And she didn't have to say that, she didn't say it because that's what I wanted to hear, she said it because she wanted to tell someone. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops. She wanted everyone to know just how much she loved Derek shepherd and how much he obviously loved her. Meredith is special Derek, dad would have loved her. He'd've been out there putting that ring in your hand right now. I'll book my flight, and I'll see you in a few weeks, meet her myself. I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too mom." Derek hung up and slid back into bed with Meredith. She stirred and opened one eye to look at him.

"What're you doing?" she asked him snuggling back into him as she went back to sleep.

"I was talking to my mom, she wants to come down and see the house plans before we finalise them. She crammed five kids into our house; she's good with these kinds of things." He waited for her to freak out, but she didn't.

"Okay." She smiled sleepily. "Just let me know when and I'll book some time off." Meredith couldn't believe those words had just come out of her mouth, but it was true. Meredith grey was going to meet the mother.

**A/N- a little porny i know, but they're only human! I know it's a bit weird having Derek talk to his mom after, but it didn't fit anywhere else and it's a nice lead up to the next few chapters.**

**Reviews would be awesome :)**


	12. Change of plan

**A/N-Thanks so much for the reviews and follows and favourites, they really make my day and encourage me to keep writing. Here's chapter 12. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I definitely don't own it, I just wish I did!**

Over the next few days, Meredith began to realise just what she'd agreed to. She was willingly going to meet the woman that had brought Derek into the world and raised him. And she was meeting the woman who thought she was good enough to be with her only son. A son who had chosen her over his own wife mere months ago. She knew it was a step she needed to take, and she knew that Derek was desperate to see his mother again, having only spoken to her during their weekly phone calls since he moved to Seattle just over a year ago. Derek had been close to his mother, and Meredith knew that she'd got on well with Addison, even after the affair, so Meredith had a tough act to follow.

Cristina had laughed in her face when Meredith told her what she'd agreed to in a sleepy, post sex fog, filling her head with tales of Burke's 'momma' and warning her to keep a close eye on her eyebrows. When she thought about it, neither her nor Cristina had much luck with mothers, even their own, so she went to Izzie, whose sunny optimism put Meredith much more at ease with the situation.

"She's going to love you!" Izzie exclaimed as she wrote up her post-op notes for a colectomy patient she'd scrubbed in on. "If you keep the dark and twisty at bay, and don't even think about cooking anything at all then you'll probably be fine. Just keep telling her how wonderful her son is, that's all moms want to hear. Just breathe Mer, you already have something huge in common."

"Really? And what's that?" Meredith questioned sceptically, looking at the OR board to see if Derek was still in surgery. He'd been trying to tell her something about his mom's visit, but she'd sparkle pagered herself onto a paeds case with Dr. Hahn and had to run and prep the patient immediately after rounds, and Derek had gone in an hour before she'd finished. Izzie finished her chart, depositing it on the trolley and dragging Meredith towards the cafeteria.

"Isn't it obvious? You both love Mcdreamy more than you love anything else. She can't take that away from you. Even if she hates you, she isn't going to stop you loving Derek, and I don't think even his mom could stop him loving you." The pair filled their trays and paid before sitting down next to George and Alex, Lexie sitting nervously on George's side. Meredith shot her a small smile, their relationship gradually improving again after her conversation with George.

"You really think she'll like me?" Meredith asked picking at her salad with her fork.

"Mer, you spent almost an hour on the phone to her, and neither of you hung up, she probably already likes you. Meeting her is a big deal, I'll admit, but Derek isn't going to let her say anything bad. He's hopelessly in love with you, he wants you to meet the other most important woman in his life. Take it as a compliment!" Izzie sipped at her soda as Meredith shoved an enormous forkful of salad leaves into her mouth.

"You're meeting Derek's mother?" George asked, finally realising the reason for Meredith's insecurity.

"Dude," Alex offered, clearly thinking the same as Meredith when it cam to meeting the mother.

"Alex," Izzie scolded, "This is a good thing, it means he wants you to be a really big part of his life, and not just here in Seattle where it's just the two of you, but his family too. I think you should be happy." Meredith screwed up her face as she thought about Izzie's words. Alex continued to smirk as he ate his sandwich.

"And anyway," George added, "You probably have a few weeks before she comes anyway. I'll have the rest of my stuff out and you'll have had a chance to get used to things, and Izzie will be there too. Izzie's right, it'll totally be fine." Even Lexie nodded at that, not feeling it was her place to say so, but knowing that Meredith's friends were right. Meredith stabbed at her salad again, thinking about meeting the woman that she'd only ever spoken to on the phone, where she could escape. She continued chewing as Hahn walked over to their table.

"Grey, I need to go back in on the Smithson baby, are you in?" She asked, knowing Meredith was fairly committed to their case from earlier in the day.

"Absolutely," she said taking a large sip of her drink before depositing her tray and following towards the OR for a few hours distraction from her thoughts.

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

"Hey," Derek said as Meredith walked up to him after her surgery, coffee for both of them in her hands. "How was it?"

"It was good, the patient is alive, and the family have been informed. Lexie is with her now."

"Good." He said wondering how to broach the subject of the phone call he had just ended. "So my mum called, she has her flight information." Meredith nodded as she signed the chart the nurse had passed her. "She couldn't get a flight when she wanted to so she's coming this weekend." Meredith wished she hadn't taken a sip of her coffee at that minute; she choked on her mouthful, spluttering it over Derek as it dripped out of her nose and down her scrubs.

"I'm sorry what?" She choked out putting her hand to her nose to stop the dripping.

"Er, she's coming this weekend instead. Look do you want to get yourself cleaned up and we can talk about this later, you know minus the coffee."

"Please." She groaned as she walked away, mortified at her display. Cristina looked up from her cubby when she saw Meredith walk in immediately bursting out laughing at the sight of her friend.

"Dare I even ask?" she giggled as Meredith pulled off her wet scrubs groaning at the fact it had begun to soak through to her shirt underneath.

"Derek's mother changed her flight; she's coming this weekend instead. Derek thought the best way to tell me was when I had a mouthful of coffee, most of which he is now cleaning up off of the nurses' station countertop." She began to giggle herself at the absurdity of the situation. "God Cristina, my house is still a dormitory for residents, how am I going to have it mom-worthy by Friday?"

"Why don't you just use the sparkle pager for a really high profile case and stick with it the whole weekend, then you don't even have to worry about it? And anyway, Derek lived in a trailer in the woods for like an entire year, I think even a messy frat house is better than that. Just remember to clear up your condom stashes." Meredith's eyes grew wide as she thought about all the draws and cupboards in every room that held condoms just in case they needed one spur of the moment. Cristina just laughed more before dashing off to answer a page. Derek walked in just as she left sitting down next to Meredith on the bench and grabbing one of her hands.

"Not my finest work." He chuckled looking at the pile of laundry at her side.

"Not so much." She agreed giggling slightly.

"I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want you to freak out and you know spit coffee everywhere." She giggled more, leaning into him slightly.

"There's so much to do Derek, just getting all of the condoms up to our room is going to take all week, I haven't properly cleaned in about a month. Even if everyone helps it's still not going to be anywhere near good enough." She looked at him, defeat spreading across her face.

"Meredith, my mom had five kids, and two jobs. Do you think she had the time to make our house perfectly tidy? D'you think she really cares about a little mess? She has 15 grandchildren, and all her kids are doctors. You think she minds mess?"

"Yes," Meredith gave up, "you're her only son, she probably wanted you to find someone who'd clean up after you and look after you and pop out little chatty babies and make cookies and make Halloween costumes and all those sorts of things. She wants bright and shiny Derek, I'm not even close."

"Meredith, she already loves you, she just wants to see you in the flesh. She knows you're a doctor and you're busy, she's been through that five times herself. The condoms, we will move, but the rest doesn't matter. We'll set her up in Izzie's room, cause it smells the best, and we'll go from there. My mom never really liked Addison, but she grew to love her because I did. She still tells everyone about speaking to you on the phone that time and how wonderful you were to her, how much you obviously love me. She'll just be glad that she doesn't have to sleep in the trailer. Trust me, you'll love her, and she'll love you. So quit worrying and kiss me." She obliged, letting the kiss linger until they were paged to their various duties. "I love you Meredith grey." He called back at her as he ran to the pit as she met Bailey at the nurses' station. The two women shared a knowing look, and Bailey smiled at her warmly as though agreeing with what everyone else had told her. Maybe meeting the mother wouldn't be so bad after all.

**A/N- Reviews would be awesome :)**


	13. On call

**A/N-Thanks so much for the reviews and follows and favourites! Mama Shep is coming soon I promise! I just need the next few chapters to lay down some ground for future chapters. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned TV shows!**

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Meredith had agreed to be on call on Monday night, as well as her usual Tuesday night, in return for the late notice of her needing the weekend off. She'd hoped to get something resembling a decent night's sleep, but she was interrupted after just an hour with an incoming child with severe abdominal pain. She rushed to meet the ambulance as it reached the doors, the rig opening to reveal her patient for the night.

"7-year old Mia Engles, has acute abdominal pain, a high fever and has vomited a few times. Symptoms started at around eight, her parents gave her Tylenol to try to ease the pain, but it hasn't had an effect so they called us."

"Okay, curtain five." Meredith instructed leading the paramedics to the relevant area. "on my count, one, two three." They lifted the little girl onto the bed, she whimpered, clutching a worn teddy bear over her sore stomach. Her parents stood helplessly by her side not knowing what to do to make their little girl feel better. "hi Mia, my name is dr. Grey can you tell me where it hurts sweetie?"

"Here." The little girl groaned gesturing towards Mcburney's point.

"Okay, I need to touch it just to check, so I need you to be really brave and tell me if it hurts more when I touch it or when I take my hands away, okay?" The girl nodded, then screamed when Meredith touched her and took her hands away. Wwas it more painful when I took my hands away Mia?" Mia nodded tears rolling down her face. Meredith looked towards Mia's parents "I'm fairly certain that mia has an appendicitis." She told them, "I have to get a blood test to confirm it, but if I'm right, it means a small surgery, a little over an hour, to take it out, and then she can rest up for a few days and she should be fine. I'm going to order her some pain relief, and talk to my superior about getting her into an OR as soon as we have the results."

She looked back at her patient. "I'm gonna make it all better mia, but to do that I have to put this in your arm so we can draw some blood and then give you some magic medicine." Mia's eyes went wide as Meredith pulled a needle from its sterile wrapping. "If you shut your eyes, it won't hurt so much." she promised, causing the little girl to squeeze her eyes tight flinching when she felt the sting of the needle. "Briliant job," Meredith praised as she passed the blood sample to her intern and reached for the pain releif that had been brought over. Sit tight, I'll stop it hurting soon." She said when she was finished, giving Mia's tiny hand a squeeze and walking out of the curtain. She paged dr. bailey 911 as well as a paeds consult to confirm her suspicions, hoping that the lab wasn't too backed up.

"What d'you have dr. Grey?" Bailey asked when she got down to the ER.

"7 year old with suspected appendicitis." Meredith said as her intern came running over with the lab results. "Make that a definite appendicitis. She's in a lot of pain, I thought it might be better to get in there sooner rather than later"

"Okay," her resident agreed "make sure the OR know we're coming, you can assist."

"Wait, you don't want to check yourself?" Meredith asked, confused by her lack of discussion about the treatment of her patient.

"nah, I trust you, and the lab results don't show anything else. Get the ok from paeds and then prep the patient. Nice catch dr. grey" Meredith smiled as dr. bailey walked away, she was still so low down the surgical food chain that it was strange when you were trusted with something like this. It made Meredith feel good, almost proud of her diagnosis. She waited a while until the paeds fellow came down and confirmed what she'd done and agreed to the surgery plan, and she took Mia down to the OR where Bailey was waiting for her.

"Hi Mia, I'm dr. Bailey, I'm gonna help dr. Grey here fix that tummy ache of yours. Grey go scrub in, we'll help Mia here get off to sleep. I need you to count backwards from ten sweetie and the doctor here is gonna give you some magic medicine tohelp you sleep. Ready?" The little girl nodded nervously, looking over to where Meredith was standing, furiously scrubbing her hands so that she could get back to Mia.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven…" the little girl whispered, looking smaller and smaller as she lost consciousness. Meredith walked in, her breath catching when she saw how dwarfed the patient looked on the table.

"She looks so small," she thought out loud, not realising she'd said it until Bailey spoke back.

"She does," Bailey agreed "but we're here to make her better, be grateful it's just a simple procedure. You start treating children for worse, horrible terrible things, then you see how small children really are. They're fighters though, they don't give up until every little bit of fight goes out of them. You ready for this?" Meredith took a breath, it was a routine procedure, and this was bailey, she could get through it.

"I'm ready," she said.

"Okay ten blade please Bokey." Bailey requested.

The surgery was as Bailey said simple, routine and they were in and out in an hour with a much more comfortable Mia. She scrubbed out with dr. Bailey.

"First one?" Bailey asked knowingly.

"Not the first," Meredith defended "but the first one I've diagnosed solo that's been this little."

"It's hard, seeing them so defenceless, seeing parents terrified for the life of their child, knowing that they'll hold you responsible, that you'll hold yourself responsible for anything that goes wrong. But you get used to it. The next one you wont want to spend tomorrow with making sure they're ok." She continued to scrub quietly, leaving Meredith to wonder why Mia had made her think so much. "You'd be good in paeds, the little girl was reassured by you. She was calm knowing you were there with her. Though your skills in general are coming along nicely. You've got a few years before you have to decide, but don't go to brains just because the hair and the smile are there waiting to breathe down your neck and peck your earlobes during surgeries. Don't throw your options away just because something else is a bit shinier." She smiled at Meredith before leaving the scrub room. Meredith watched her leave. Had bailey really just praised her skills in two different departments? She left the scrub room and after reassuring Mia's parents that she was fine, and settling them in her room, she went back to the on call room to grab a few hours before the next day began. She had another night on call waiting for her tomorrow, so maybe spending some time with Mia would be enough to get her through the day.

Try as she might, she couldn't forget the little girl, or her parents faces when they realised that they weren't about to lose their child. She thought of Derek and how he'd almost lost her, totally unable to comprehend how that hurt, let alone how awful it would be to see a child in pain or close to death. She thought of Carolyn bringing up five young people all by herself, soothing their broken hearts, fixing up their scratches and scrapes, cheering them up when they were sick. She thought about the scar on Derek's forehead, from his short lived rebellious motorcycle days, Carolyn by his bedside when he woke up from having his foot fixed. She wondered how it felt for Carolyn to watch Derek move across the country while he was in pain, and go from seeing him a few times a week to a single phone call if Derek could fit it in on a Sunday afternoon. The more she thought, the less daunting it was meeting her. She wanted to see her son, to kiss him and hug him and do all the things good moms did. For the first time, she was actually looking forward to seeing her, with her only son and with his friends. At the end of the day, Carolyn was much the same as the Engles', she wanted the best for her son, and although Meredith didn't feel like the best girlfriend much of the time, she'd try to at least show Carolyn that she was trying to be the best even if she had a long way to go.

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	14. Not your average princess

**A/N- Sorry for the wait, little filler that follows on from the last chapter. Thanks for all the reviews/follows/favourites. You guys make my day. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer- I don't own it :( **

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Meredith waited until after rounds, before she made her way to paeds, when she knew Mia would be a little more awake and able to talk after her surgery. Izzie was on paeds that day, and had agreed to let her in to visit Mia for a while before the two of them scrubbed in on other surgeries. Bailey had assigned her to general that day, so that she could do a post op on Mia and spend a little time with her just to be sure for herself that Mia really would be fine.

"Hey Mia!" she greeted as she entered the room "how are you feeling?" she asked as she took a note of Mia's vitals and checked the incision from the night before.

"I'm good, my tummy doesn't hurt anymore, but I wish my mommy and daddy were here." She pouted a little, clearly a little distressed at her lack of company.

"Oh, where are your mom and dad?" Meredith asked, concerned. She knew what it was like to be stuck in a hospital with no company, her mother had left her countless times with little to do except wander around and find some of the nurses to play with.

"My daddy had to go to work, and my mommy had to go home to be with my baby brother and sister, my grandma couldn't look after them for too long on her own."

"Oh that's a shame." Meredith commented wondering what she could do to make the patient feel better. "Would you liketo do some drawings with me? I have a little time, maybe dr. Stevens would like to join us." The patient nodded and cracked a small smile at the gesture. Meredith grinned back and went and found some paper and pens from the day room in the paediatric department and brought them and Izzie back to Mia's room.

"Okay, what are we gonna draw Miss Engles?" she asked as she laid the supplies out in front of the three of them.

"Um princesses and weddings." She decided after much thought.

"Okay, what do I have to draw?" Izzie asked. The theme was classic Izzie, Meredith was a little less enthusiastic at the concept. She had much to learn about princesses, particularly if she was going to meet Derek's nieces anytime soon.

"Do you have a prince?" Mia asked in return, taking Izzie's long blond hair and sunny exterior to mean that she must have found her prince, whereas very little about Meredith aside from the glint in her eyes screamed happily ever after.

"No, I haven't found my prince yet, but dr. Grey has." Mia deliberated the thought for a moment. Meredith saw confusion find the little girls face. Meredith had always seen herself as more of a Rumplestiltskin than a princess. She shrugged her shoulders, quickly accepting that Meredith could be a princess, maybe a pre-fairy godmother Cinderella, but a princess all the same.

"Okay, you can be the princess and dr. Grey can be the bride. You have to draw the wedding, and dr. Grey has to draw the ring that the prince gives her, and I can draw the magic palace they go back to when they're done with the wedding and she's a princess."

"Okay," Izzie and Meredith smiled getting to work on their given tasks. Meredith loved the interaction between Izzie and the young girl, Izzie was the mothering type, the kind you wanted as your kindergarden teacher or babysitter. If Derek ever convinced her to have children, Izzie would be the one she'd want close at hand to provide a little bright and shiny to their lives.

"What's your favourite movie Dr. Izzie?" Mia asked not looking up from her drawing. Meredith knew that the breakfast club probably wouldn't be the answer Izzie gave, despite it being the truth. It might be a little difficult to explain iconic eighties movies to a girl who was clearly solid Disney.

"I think it's probably 'The Lion King'" she grinned at the little girl as the pair reached for pink and purple crayons while Meredith stuck to grey in the absence of a silver.

"I love that film!" Mia squealed bursting into chatter of a bird a nasty lion and many names that Meredith was unfamiliar. "Who's your favourite Dr. Grey?"

"Um," Meredith stuttered. "I've actually never seen it." she confessed, her lack of Disney film knowledge causing both Mia and Izzie to stare open mouthed at her.

"It's a classic!" Izzie spat a little too harshly before softening somewhat, "You've really never seen it?" Meredith shook her head and bit her lip, as Izzie sighed. "Who do we think Dr. Grey is most like?" she asked of the little girl.

"Not Nala, cause thats you Dr. Izzie, maybe Timon, she's skinny like Timon is." Izzie snorted before nodding at the little girl, a secret grin passing between the two. Meredith played with her scrubs, trying to hide just how tiny she was thanks to her mother's metabolism.

The three continued their colouring for a while, Meredith feeling much better about leaving Mia to heal, knowing that she was already friends with Izzie thanks to their shared knowledge of all things Disney. Meredith was horrified to see that Mia had opted for an all pink palace complete with turrets and a unicorn for company. Izzie had gone to similar extremes, giving her wedding a lilac colour scheme and opting for a big poofy white dress for her Meredith drawing, complete with top hat and tails for Derek. Mia lapped it up, and was even thrilled by Meredith's ring design, simple though it was.

"What's your prince called dr. Grey?" Mia asked her as she began to yawn, the nights events catching up with her.

"Dr. Derek Shepherd." She answered emphasising the fact that he too was a doctor, like she did when she was approached at Joes. Letting people know that she already had a good guy in her story and wasn't looking for another. And if Mia and Izzie had their way, she'd end up being his princess forever after.

"So you'd be dr. Grey-Shepherd?" she yawned, not able to hide her drowsiness now.

"Something like that Mia, but probably not for a long time yet. We haven't known each other long." Izzie smirked as her friend tried to hide her insecurities when it came to marriage from their patient.

"So, some princesses get married on the same day they meet the prince, they just know it's right. Go get you're happy ever after dr. Grey." Mia told her as she let herself drift off. "you can keep the pictures for your prince." Izzie smiled as she packed up the supplies ready to go back to work.

"You heard the girl," she shooed, "go tell prince mcdreamy what you expect of him." Meredith shook her head as she made her way back to the surgical floor. She too stifled a yawn as she reached the nurses' station. Smiling when she saw Derek filling in a chart.

"There you are," he said turning to her "I was about to send a search party. What've you been up to this morning?"

"I was colouring with Izzie and my patient from last night. She planned us a wedding." She showed him Izzie's drawing, "and a pink castle and I got to draw the ring." She showed him the other pictures. "The little girl said that you were my prince and way into the future I'll go from bride to princess. She also said I should've married you the day I met you, but I'm not sure fairytale logic works in real life. Then her and Izzie went all Disney on me, I got a little lost there. I was never a Disney kind of kid."

"Well I like these." He grinned, "especially the unicorn, I've always wanted one of those." She went to take the pictures back from him, but he pulled them towards himself. "no, I'm putting these up in my office, so I remember what our house and our wedding will look like when the time comes. May have to get Izzie and your patient to help out though. Especially if I have to transform you into a princess. If you don't know Disney then clearly you're going to need an education." he laughed kissing her as his pager went off signalling the free OR for his next surgery. "I'll see you later," he smiled as he walked away. Meredith shook her head. There was no end to her prince's cheesiness, she'd have to get used to that she thought as she picked up the charts for her surgery and following afternoon of charting.

As Meredith sat down to dictate her first chart, she thought about what Derek had said, there was no if we get married, it was when. Which meant that she'd get a proposal one day, a wedding and a marriage. She knew it would be a while. It'd only been a few weeks since they decided to try again, they had a lot of settling back down to do before they started thinking about marriage, but that hope, the kind that wouldn't be out of place in the movies Meredith missed out on growing up. The hope that one day they would have those things, that made the journey to get there so much more exciting.

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	15. Getting ready

**A/N- Last filler before Momma Shep arrives. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer- I own none of it!**

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Having been on call two nights running in return for a free weekend, Meredith was glad to be home on Wednesday night. She'd left Derek in charge of tidying up the house to make it presentable for his mother. She'd asked Izzie to supervise, knowing that Derek was far from domesticated, and she had hoped that between the two of them, her home would be less frat house and more show home. She refused to be the reason that Carolyn shepherd's only son was living in an house that she deemed unacceptable. Her surgery had run long, and she'd had to inform the family that complications on the table meant that their father probably wouldn't wake up. She was so drained that she went straight up the stairs to bed, not even inspecting the work of her partner and roommate.

She woke early to her alarm, signalling the short amount of time between rounds and now. She dragged herself out of her bed and straight to the coffee machine. Derek had been on call the previous night, and was due home at lunchtime. She was hoping to be out in enough time to finish tidying the house before Derek went to pick up his mother on Friday. She glanced round her kitchen. There wasn't a single thing out of place. The washing up was either in the washer or put back where it belonged. The surfaces were polished. The sink wasn't blocked anymore and the garbage disposal wasn't making the weird noise it had been making the last week or so. The trash was out, the bag was clean. Her whole kitchen smelt fresh and new, as though someone had just moved in. it was perfect. Derek and Izzie had done a good job. She wandered through the rest of the house, seeing a similar picture. Tidy, clean, junk-free rooms, with no sign of the med student lifestyle that normally adorned them. There were no pizza boxes, beer bottles or take out containers. There wasn't a months' worth of newspapers and magazines that hadn't been read. She smiled as she traipsed back upstairs to finish getting ready. She was lucky that she had such amazing roommates, they made the next few days a lot easier to digest.

She made it just in time for rounds, and Bailey decided to let it go when Meredith wasn't quite ready when she began speaking. She allowed Meredith a few minutes to gather herself, letting the other interns present before moving onto Meredith's patient.

"Dr. Grey, present." Bailey instructed as they reached the little girl's room.

"Mia Engles, seven years old. Three days post op for an appendectomy. She had a fever yesterday, so we put her on antibiotics to fight any infection that may have caused it. The fever broke at around 8pm last night, and she's responded very well to the antibiotics. Her early morning labs showed no sign of any residual infection. She's done really well."

"So what is your recommendation?"

"I would say discharge her with a prescription for some oral antibiotics as a precaution to fight off any lingering infection, and a lot of strawberry ice cream." She added with a smile, her patient mirroring hers.

"Very good. You sort that out and then home dr. grey. I know how many hours you've worked in the last week ready for this weekend. It's not going to go very well if you spend half of it trying to keep your eyes open. Discharge mia, and go home and sleep. That's an order."

"Yes dr. Bailey." She answered as she stepped past mia's father so that she could double check the incision before sending her patient home. By 11 all of the paperwork had been settled and mia's parents had taken her home, thanking Meredith profusely for her help during their daughter's stay. Meredith had been on call the night mia came in, and was quick to spot the diagnosis and get her into surgery with Bailey before her appendix exploded. It was always nice to see a case through to the end, especially with children. Something about seeing them happy and healthy at the end of their treatment, and seeing the looks on their parents faces when everything went right was one of the reasons she loved this job so much. Cases like these made up for all the over friendly drunks and people putting poisons into their bodies and causing irreparable damage. She went and sat at the nurses' station, finishing the chart dictation. She rested her head on the desk, and was woken by a kiss on her neck as Derek grabbed her hand and led her to the residents lounge. She pulled out her clothes and got dressed quickly, not caring who was looking. Just desperate to get home before she fell asleep on her feet. She'd worked over 80 hours since Derek told her that Carolyn had moved her visit, and all she wanted to do was sleep. In her own bed, with her own Derek and not be interrupted by pagers or code calls or people trying to die on her watch.

She definitely nodded off in the car, because the next thing she knew she was in Derek's arms halfway up the stairs. He laid her on the bed and put his head down right next to hers. She looked at him in the eyes, too tired to thank him, and he watched as she drifted off to sleep, the extra hours she'd taken on finally catching up with her. He pulled open the draw to his nightstand where he'd stashed all the condoms he'd found while he was helping Alex, George and Izzie clean-up for Meredith. There had to be a better place to put 113 condoms until his mother left. Either that, or he and Meredith would have to miss a lot of his mother's visit, and as much fun as that sounded, he doubted that anyone else in the house would be quite so pleased with the idea.

He let her sleep long after he woke from his own nap, wrapping her lunch up and putting it in the fridge until she was ready to eat it. It was a little after four when she finally made it down the stairs, still yawning, but looking much better than when he'd put her to bed.

"The house is amazing." She praised him. "I can't believe you did all of this while I was on call."

"Well, we're all very good at cleaning." He joked "and Izzie would make a very good supervisor if being a doctor doesn't work out." Meredith giggled and sat herself on his lap, wanting to be close with him, having spent the last few days barely exchanging a hello and a peck on the cheek. She had no intention of allowing him to have sex with her while his mother was under the same roof, so she was going to get all she could of him until then. If that meant that they'd have gone two weeks without sex then she'd just have to live with it. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and breathed in the fading smell of her lavender conditioner. He kissed her as she laid her head on his shoulder, enjoying the closeness after several days apart. "We're supposed to be sorting out the den." He said, making no effort to get up, wanting to stay with Meredith every bit as much as she did.

"Does your mother need to see the den; can't we just say that you haven't finished moving your stuff in there?" she yawned, the fatigue from being on call still there.

"I haven't even started," he teased nipping at her neck with his teeth as she squealed playfully. "You keep getting distracted by your old bits and pieces."

"Well my mom didn't keep every little thing I made all the way from kindergarten to college, so what she did keep must've been pretty special. It's kinda nice seeing some of that stuff. You get so caught up in the now that sometimes it's nice to remember what made you smile when you were small, or what you used to like to wear when you were seven and smaller than all the kids in your class." She pouted to make him feel guilty in the hope he'd let up.

"I'm joking." He told her looking into her eyes "I like seeing you as a child. As much as I like my dark and twisty Meredith, it's nice seeing what you were like, back when you were young and carefree." He kissed again, pulling her in tighter to his body as she moved her legs straddling him on the chair. She moved her fingers up so that they were in his hair, combing through as she bucked her hips against his, feeling him begin to stir beneath her. He started to unbutton her blouse, his hands finding their way inside of her bra, the pads of his fingers brushing against her nipples, reacting to his touch, hardening beneath his fingertips. She mimicked his actions, undoing his shirt and rubbing her hands against his chest before shrugging the blouse off her shoulders and unhooking her bra to give him better access. His erection continued to grow as he moved his mouth down to her breasts, taking one nipple in his mouth and tugging gently making her moan. She went to work on his belt, unbuckling it and moving onto the button on his jeans, she slid them down his legs, feeling his hands reaching down into the back of hers, grabbing her ass and pulling her closer to him, pressing himself against her thigh. She shimmied out of her pants, leaving just their underwear. He began to slide her panties down her legs, reaching between her legs and placing a finger inside her, making her gasp. He kissed her, her moans echoing around his mouth as she kissed him back, her hands grappling with his boxers, freeing him from that prison. She kicked her panties to one side as he lifted her up onto the table, easing himself into her slowly, pushing her onto her back, legs over his shoulders, igniting her pleasure. He slowed, letting her accommodate him before pulling back, her heart pounding as he thrust again and again, their bodies moving in time as she began to pant, knowing she was close.

"Faster Derek," her words echoed as he began to quicken his pace, "oh, right there, oh, harder Derek. Yes, yes." She screamed as he sent her over the edge, feeling as she spasmed against him, the aftershocks of her orgasm causing his own as she rolled into a second. They panted together, their heart rhythms in sync as she brought her legs down, clenching around him so that he didn't move out of her. He pulled her back off the table steadying her with his arms, neither paying enough attention to the outside world to hear Izzie shut the front door and walk into the kitchen.

"Oh god!" she said abruptly as she turned around shielding her eyes as the pair quickly crouched to the floor, Meredith hitting her head on the table as they dropped. "I'm sorry, just finish whatever you were doing, and disinfect that table. Mrs Shepherd is not eating off a table where you. Just get dressed, please." The pair giggled as they hurriedly dressed and ran out of the room and into the lounge.

"Sorry Iz," Meredith said, trying to act seriously. "We didn't realise anyone was coming home so early, if we'd known we wouldn't have." She bit her lip as she tried not to laugh. "I'll clean the table myself. Thanks so much for helping Derek with the house, we'll pay you for your time and stuff, just give me some numbers and I'll write you a check."

"So you two will really do it anywhere huh?" She asked, making a mental note to knock before she entered a room in future.

"Yeah," Derek answered, "first place we did it was that couch, though we almost didn't make it that far." Izzie sprang up and headed towards the stairs.

"Some things I just don't need to know." She ran up to her room shaking her head and grimacing. Meredith looked at Derek and laughed out loud, as did he.

"I better clean that table before your mother gets here," Meredith announced "we've already scarred Izzie for life, I don't want to scar your mother too!" she grabbed his hand and led him through to the kitchen.

"Sure," he agreed, but first, "d'you wanna go again?"

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**Reviews would be awesome :)**


	16. Mama Shep comes to town

**Disclaimer- I don't own it!**

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Meredith cleaned up the evidence of their sexcapade in the kitchen, ignoring Derek's attempts to get her to have sex in every room of the house. She walked through the rooms, ensuring that everything was perfect ready for Carolyn's arrival. The flight was getting in at seven, so there was little time in the morning to finish making sure that things were looking good. After a while, she was finally satisfied that everything was to the ridiculously high standard she believed Carolyn would expect, Derek having ensured her that the vegetables in the fridge did not need to be in any kind of alphabetical or colour order. Izzie had come down when she was checking the end table drawers, armed with a copy of The Lion King, again pointing out her disgust at the fact that Meredith had had sex in every room, but not seen such an iconic film.

Derek set the DVD player up and the familiar film began to play on the screen. Meredith was as transfixed as any child seeing the movie for the first time, snuggling into him when the 'scary' parts came on and smiling when the characters performed the elaborate routines that were as much part of Derek's childhood as surgery tapes were to Meredith's. A skinny meerkat appeared on the screen and Meredith's brow furrowed.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked her, wondering how the comedy stylings of Timon and Pumbaa could elicit anything other than laughter.

"That's Timon?" Derek nodded. "That's who Izzie and Mia said I looked like?" She continued to frown at the screen, Derek trying his hardest not to laugh, bursting when she turned to look at him, slightly offended by the comparison. Eventually she began to grin, laughing along with Derek until they both had tears streaming down their faces. It was rare in their profession to find something to just laugh at, and Derek had fallen in love with that laugh the moment he'd met her, and couldn't stop himself from kissing her hard, looking deep into her green eyes trying to fathom how he could love her as much as he did. They stayed on the sofa curled in each others embrace until the credits rolled and Meredith began to yawn. Derek sent Meredith up to bed while he locked the doors and put the DVD away. He couldn't wait to see his mother again. He knew it had been difficult for her to have him leave so suddenly, and not come back. It was hard for her to see him hurting, but she'd get to see his Meredith, he got to see why it was easy to stay, why it was such a good thing that he moved away. He loved Meredith, and he knew that the second she laid eyes on her, Carolyn would love Meredith too.

Derek climbed quietly into bed, and Meredith crawled into his arms, not moving until he kissed her a little after five so that she'd get up and ready to pick up his mother. She stretched and pulled him in for a kiss before leading him into the shower for a quickie before their weekend of enforced abstinence, Meredith not wanting Carolyn Shepherd to think that she was really the klutzy person that she became after a few good orgasms. The idea of his mother hearing the pair of them was enough to make Derek reluctantly agree with his girlfriend.

They got to the airport with time to spare, Meredith having to go to the bathroom twice before the flight landed, her nervousness at meeting his mother amusing Derek greatly. When she came back a third time, after checking her hair and make-up were totally pristine and perfect, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her softly in the hope of calming her down. They were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"There's a time and a place young man." A middle aged woman of average height, with short grey hair and the piercing blue eyes that adorned Derek's face scolded him, reaching her arms out for a hug with her son, "and you must be Meredith." She said reaching out and pulling her in for a hug. "You were right Derek, she's gorgeous, and she's obviously clever too. You're going to make beautiful babies, more little shepherd geniuses." Meredith smiled, raising her eyebrows at Derek in alarm. Carolyn picked up on Meredith's expression. "Not for a few more years dear, when you aren't forced to work so hard. My grandchildren are my world, but they're all growing up. Lizzie's youngest will be a year old in November." She reminded her son, picking some lint from his coat.

"Mom, we've been together for less than a year. It'll happen when it happens. When Meredith and I are ready, you'll be the first to know." He grasped Meredith's hand and squeezed it reassuringly as they went to baggage claim. When Carolyn was certain she had everything, they got into the car and started to drive home. The ride was filled with news of Derek's nieces and nephews and the achievements of his sisters and their partners. Meredith sat in the back and let them talk. It'd been a while since they'd seen each other and it felt right to let them catch up on what they missed since he'd been in Seattle.

When they arrived back at Meredith's house, Derek opened the front door and led his mother inside, while Meredith opened up the boot and began collecting Carolyn's things ready to go inside. She lingered slightly until Derek came back out to help her. "See she already loves you." He assured her before catching the expression on her face. "She's a little full on with all of my sister's partners, she just knows how crazy I am about you, so she's making even more of an effort. She was an navy nurse for years, she's used to being blunt with people, she just forgets who she's with a lot of the time. She'll calm down, I promise." He kissed her on the forehead as they brought the bags inside, Meredith smiling at his words. They set them down in the guest room and joined Carolyn in the living area.

"This house is gorgeous Meredith." She said looking out of the window at the view "did you grow up here?"

"I spent some of my childhood here," she told her, "we moved to Boston when I was still quite young, and I moved back here just before I started my internship. My mother couldn't look after it anymore, so she signed it over to me, and I live here with a few of the other residents, and Derek's in the process of moving his stuff in."

"Oh, the great Ellis grey, there are few who haven't heard of her. Is she still in Boston?" Meredith looked at Derek, her hands shaking a tiny bit at the mention of her mother's condition. "Um, no she had early onset Alzheimer's, she was staying at the rose ridge nursing home, but she died last year." Derek pulled her close and kissed her forehead, wishing she didn't have to be brave in front of his mother, opening his mouth to change the subject before Carolyn cut in.

"Oh sweetheart," she gasped "I had no idea, I'm so sorry I pried, I didn't mean to bring it all up for you." She took Meredith from Derek, pulling her in close to her chest the way a mother would to a young child. Meredith was shocked at the gesture. Having never been mothered, she was surprised when the tears came springing to the surface threatening to escape. "It gets easier." Carolyn assured her "Derek will tell you. It'll always hurt, but you learn to live with it. It hurts just a little bit less as the years go by and new joys come into your life, and when you think of her, you won't remember the awful times when she was ill, you'll think of the little happy things. She might have spent a lot of her time at work away from you, but every mother loves her little girl, that's what you'll remember in ten or twenty years' time when you have your own running around. You'll remember how she loved you, always." Meredith smiled through her tears, comforted by her words. She felt Derek's arm on her back and she turned and kissed him as Carolyn let go of her. "Tea," Carolyn exclaimed, "that's what we need, where'd you keep your supplies?" the pair laughed as Derek followed his mother to the kitchen to help her find things. Meredith watched the two interact, a mother and son, so close, so many unspoken words between them. She was really beginning to like Carolyn shepherd, maybe it wouldn't be such a scary weekend after all.

The three of them decided to take it easy for the rest of the day after Carolyn's flight, and the time difference playing havoc with her, so they decided to take her to the land so she could see where the house was going to be built, and so that she could tease Derek about living in his trailer for so long.

"That is breathtaking." She exclaimed when they pointed out the view from the front of the house. "just imagine seeing all of that whilst youre eating your breakfast or watching the sunset from your yard. And its all yours Derek?"

"Everywhere the light touches" he joked earning him a smile from Meredith and an eye roll from his mother.

"you can do so much with the space, you just could never get bored with a place like this. You could have another treehouse like yours and mark's, and there's room for all kinds of toys, and you would be great if we wanted to get all the family together, all the kids could play out here, and the rest of us. You could have food and music, it's amazing Derek." She gazed around some more before turning to her son "You know when nancy came and told me you were out here living in the woods in the trailer like an overgrown boy scout, I thought you were going through some kind of mid life crisis or something but now I can see why you brought it and camped out here, its stunning."

"When Derek told me that he wanted to move out here, away from my house I thought he was crazy, I had no intention of leaving it behind, but you see those blueprints, and it makes you want to move out here tomorrow. He's thought of everything." Meredith gushed, forgetting her vow to act like a dignified young lady

"And Meredith has put her spin on it, my ears are still sore after she told me off for the size of the kids bedrooms." Meredith hit him with one of her tiny ineffectual fists

"They were tiny, and he expected the kids to share a bathroom with our guests. He wanted seven rooms to share a bathroom." Meredith informed her.

"Seven?" Carolyn questioned, intrigued as to why the pair needed so many bedrooms.

"We thought we'd both have studies so that we can keep our research in our own space away from the movement of the rest of the house, then there's the nursery and the spare rooms for the kids when theyre older and guests and probably an upstairs playroom too." Derek told her, a glint in his eye that told his mother he probably had plans for far more than just one or two children, but hadn't got the idea past Meredith yet.

"You'd best show me then darlings," she instructed them, taking one of their hands in each of theirs leading them back to the car like two of her young grandchildren. It made Meredith smile to see how Derek had been brought up, she had no doubts about his ability as a father, he'd had a wonderful role model. Family may not have been Meredith's thing, but she was definitely coming around to the idea. If she had to be part of any family she was really glad it was the Shepherd's.


	17. Mother-Son time

**A/N: Thanks so much for those that leave reviews, they mean so much, and hearing you're enjoying the story really gives me motivation to write more. I looked at my stuff for Carolyn's visit, and I'm going to stick with it for a few more chapters. I'll try and upload them fairly quickly so that I can move on, but I really love writing her, so I'm sure this won't be the last we see of her!**

**Disclaimer: Shonda Rhimes owns it not me!**

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In honour of his mother's arrival, Derek had decided to make dinner for his two favourite women that night. So while he watched the pots and pans heating on the stove top, Meredith and Carolyn sat at the kitchen table, the three of them discussing their plans for thanksgiving the following month, and Christmas the month after that.

"You definitely want to be there for Christmas with all the kids, they get so excited when they think Santa's been. You used to come round for dinner on Christmas day. You missed it all last year. Do you really want to deprive them of their uncle Derek again sweetheart?" Carolyn turned from her son to Meredith when Derek began to hesitate. "Meredith sweetheart, tell him how wonderful family Christmases are."

"I don't think I ever had a family Christmas in Boston." She admitted, "and I don't really remember much about Christmas in Seattle, but it might be nice to see the kids opening their presents. If you'll have me of course. I've never done that, so I think it might be nice, and I get to meet your family." She looked towards Derek, who smiled at her, and she grinned back as he walked over to kiss her. He loved it when she spoke of his family, almost as though she were excited to meet them, despite her less than pleasant run in with Nancy the year before. He wondered at first if she was simply trying to please his mother, but the twinkle in her eye when she mentioned his nieces and nephews made his heart melt, and he knew with absolute certainty that he was making the right choice by waiting for her to be ready. instead of pushing her, he'd begun gently encouraging her to think about the future. when she'd let things like marriage and babies slip out, he'd supported her, and dreamed with her and it began to scare her less and less, she was looking further than just a few months into the future. she was thinking about a lifetime, their lifetime, together for all eternity.

"Okay," he said pulling away, "I'll see how much time we can get off work and we'll come for Christmas, thanksgiving will probably be the hospital family, seeing as we'll probably have to work then if we're having Christmas off. The chief might let us have both, but I'd sooner get paged in on thanksgiving than forced to cut short Christmas with the family." Carolyn began telling them the plans for the Christmas period, and Derek began formulating his own in terms of flights and the number of days he could get off from the hospital. Their conversation was interrupted when Meredith's pager went off. Meredith frowned at the screen, wishing she could've stayed to talk more about Christmas in the shepherd household but knowing that she was needed at the hospital.

"It's a 911 from Bailey. She said she wouldn't page unless she desperately needed me, so I'm gonna have to go. I'm really sorry Carolyn, she knew you were coming, and she promised she wouldn't page if she could help it." She rambled, reluctantly getting up and walking towards the door "save me some dinner okay?" she kissed Derek on the cheek as she ran out to the car.

"That's fine sweetheart, I'll see you later," She grinned at Meredith as she left them alone waiting until they heard the car leave the driveway before mentioning the real reason for Carolyn's visit.

"You're right sweetheart," she told him, gazing at him with a look of pride. "she's the one. That's the girl you've been waiting to find." She grinned, unable to resist the urge to pull him into her arms. She'd known it from the moment she stepped off the plane and saw them at the airport together; Meredith and Derek were made to be together. "I think now is the time your father would've wanted you to have my engagement ring. It'll need adjusting, and maybe modernising a little but I think he'd want it to go to Meredith. It wasn't right for Addison, she was a placeholder. She was lovely, but she wasn't right. She had to push you towards Meredith, and I'm so grateful she did. Meredith is a wonderful young woman. But if you hurt her, there will be serious consequences young man." She kissed his cheek as he smiled at his mothers words.

"I'm not gonna hurt her." He promised. "she's special. I've never felt this way about anyone. Least of all Addison. Even when I'm angry, or make a complete fool of myself. Every time I upset her or say something that scares her, she's still there, still fighting for us. I know she's terrified much of the time, but she's trying so hard. I can't imagine my life without her in it." He paused to wipe a little moisture from his eyes. Carolyn smiled proudly at him, knowing he was exactly where he should be. She was grateful right then for Meredith, for she had made Carolyn's only son sparkle again. He smiled and laughed and it reached his eyes, something she hadn't seen since the very beginning of his relationship with Addison.

"So, what are we going to do with this ring?" She asked him, knowing he would want to go over every tiny detail, the same way he did when he was a boy.

"I actually have a ring design if you'd like to see it. Meredith was colouring with a young patient, and I stole her drawing. It's so unbelievably her, simple but elegant. I'd like to get it made up for her. The ring already has history, I just think this would make it even more special. One day, I want to tell my kids about it, pass it down to my son for his own wife." He walked towards Meredith's study where his jacket was hanging on the chair, pulling out the drawing and showing it to his mother.

"Oh wow." Carolyn gasped taking the picture in her hands, "that really is something isn't it? Who are you going to use? I know a lovely little place that would sort it for you. They looked at Kathleen's a few years ago when the stone chipped while they were on holiday. There was a jeweller close to where they were staying but they said that this guy was the best. He's a real artist, I have their number somewhere, remind me to give it to you before I leave. Anyway, here." She passed him a small velvet box with her ring inside.

"Thanks mom," he whispered, trying to hide his emotions over seeing it again after so long. "she'll take amazing care of it, I promise."

"I know," Carolyn smiled as she pulled her son into her arms again. "I know."

MDMDMDMDMDMDMD

"I'm here Dr. Bailey," Meredith panted as she ran up to her mentor, "What do you need me for?"

"How's it going with Mrs. Shepherd?" Bailey pried, testing the waters to see if her former intern needed the escape she was offering.

"It's actually really nice," Meredith smiled, "I didn't expect to like her, at least not so soon, it's sweet seeing the two of them together. And it's not awkward with me there, so I'm having a really good time." Bailey smiled, wondering at how Dark and twisty Meredith had transformed into the bright, shiny young thing that was actually excited to be meeting her boyfriends mother.

"I'm almost sorry I paged then," she smiled, "almost but I doubted you'd want to miss out on a neuroendocrine tumour wrapped around the renal artery and celiac artery, particularly not on a twelve year old."

"Are you kidding? Isn't that rare?" Meredith asked, her mind going over all she'd learnt about such tumours and what they could do to fix it.

"It's certainly more exciting than appys and colys." the resident confirmed. "The head of paeds was pulled in to another surgery, so he asked if I could find myself a good team and take it off his hands. He's being prepped as we speak. Meredith followed Dr. Bailey towards their patients room, her surgical high already beginning to build.

MDMDMDMDMD

It was rare that Derek sat down and just talked about what he was feeling, but with his mother he made the exception. He hadn't sat down and talked to her since he decided to come to Seattle, and he was grateful that with Meredith gone he could just talk and cry and share his pain with the woman that raised him. He told her of his fears about losing Meredith, and the fact that he loved her so much that he physically hurt anytime she was upset or unsure. Carolyn sat and she listened intently, knowing that her son simply needed to get things out, she offered a few words when they were needed, but mostly she just sat and listened to what he had to say, and held him when he cried, cried for what he had lost, and what he had gained. She noticed him change when he spoke about Meredith, his eyes sparkled, and he couldn't contain a slight smile, even when he opened up about her drowning and the pain of Cristina's wedding. It was almost as though she brought him back out of himself, as though he were hiding behind all the hurt and the drama, and had suddenly resurfaced. She smiled as he nursed his coffee, silent after hours of talking, their plates long since cleared away. They didn't need words anymore, he was content after his release, and now he was taking stock, just like when he was a boy. The door creaked and Meredith entered the kitchen, a tired smile on her face when she saw Derek and Carolyn at the table. She went in and kissed Derek, pulling him out of his trance, and making him grin against her mouth.

"I missed you," she said, never once looking away from his eyes, "it wasn't the same boasting about my cool surgery without you there." She wrapped her arms around his neck and he put his round her waist, rocking her gently as she rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead before glancing up at his mother, who smiled at the gesture.

"I'd best be off to bed, busy day tomorrow," she announced knowing that the two would want a little alone time before bed. Smiling at the pair of them as they said their goodnights before she slipped out of the room and up the stairs.

"Are you hungry?" Derek whispered as his mother retired to Izzie's room.

"Starving," Meredith admitted pulling away from Derek and sitting at the table. Derek pulled her dinner from the fridge and began reheating it, setting it in front of her when it was hot.

"I love you so much," he told her as he took his place next to her, resting the side of his head on his hand as he watched her eat.

"I love you too," she said, her mouth full. Derek laughed at her as she shovelled forkfuls into her mouth like a ravenous child.

"So what was this surgery?"

"Well, Bailey had never seen it before, and she has this real thing about me going into paeds or general, so she paged me cause she thought I'd love it…" Derek watched her animated face as she told him about her surgery, nodding occasionally and laughing when she wanted him to. He barely took in a word of what she was saying, he was too focussed on the curve of her nose and her tiny laughter lines, her tired smile and the beautiful aroma that surrounded her. He loved every bit of her. And he was going to ask her, not tonight but he was going to ask her. He was going to ask Meredith grey to be his wife and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was going to say yes.

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**A/N: I didn't mean to bash Addison in this chapter, I actually love her as a character, and will hopefully bring her in later in the story, but I think she needed to push Derek into Meredith's arms so they could both be happy. Anyways hope you enjoyed :)**


	18. Seeing the sights

**A/N- Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts, they make my inbox much brighter! I have one more chapter with Mrs. Shepherd after this one, but I want to move on a tiny bit, so I'm going to put them both up today, then I can get onto some of the fun stuff!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Grey's Anatomy :(**

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There was nothing Meredith loved more than waking up in Derek's arms. That is except waking up in Derek's arms knowing that neither of them had to work, and they got to spend the entire day wandering around Seattle, visiting the landmarks that were, for Meredith, looked at from afar but never visited. What made it even better was that they got to do it all with Carolyn, Derek's mother, who by the smell of it was just about to serve up breakfast. She felt Derek stir behind her, pressing a kiss to her neck as he pulled them both from their slumber.

"Morning," he uttered sleepily into her neck.

"Morning," She returned, turning over so she could kiss him back, their lips meeting softly as their hands went instinctively to the others' hair. Meredith pulled away and rested her cheek on Derek's chest, savouring the rare moment of bliss that she'd earned by working a 90 hour week.

"We should be getting up." Derek said, making no effort to move, instead pulling Meredith closer, kissing the top of her head and breathing in the lavender scent that he loved so much.

"We should," Meredith agreed. "I think your mom made breakfast, and I'm insanely hungry, but trust me, if we were alone, we wouldn't be leaving this bed all day." Derek grinned as he pulled the both into a sitting position, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and stretching before turning to look at her.

"Choosing food over me are we?" He joked, knowing that with Meredith, food often trumped sex, especially after a long surgery filled week.

"If Mark hadn't spent the entire week telling me how amazing a cook your mother is i might feel a little differently." She followed him into the bathroom, joining him in the shower once the water was warm. They quickly dried and dressed and joined Carolyn in the kitchen, ready for whatever the day would throw at them.

"Okay, where first?" Derek asked his mother as she joined him in the front of the car. Derek's mother had seen little of Seattle before, having only ever passed through on the way to somewhere else. Derek had suggested that they go and see the sights, something he himself had yet to do despite living there for well over a year. Meredith could tell that there had been many similar tourist-y trips for Derek when he was younger, Meredith hadn't had the same luxury, only ever seeing the sights in Boston when she went on a class trip, or the nanny had been instructed to get her out of the house, so Derek was excited to take her, trying desperately to help make up for her less than idyllic childhood. She'd laughed at him when he took her to the aquarium one afternoon, walking around pointing out the various types of marine life within it. She scoffed and called him a loser, but secretly she'd loved it, it made her feel blessed to have a boyfriend that was willing to experience it all with her, even if it was, as Meredith called it 'a bunch of slimy fish swimming laps'. He'd even tried to buy her a cuddly toy from the gift shop, holding up all kinds of creatures, much to the delight of the other visitors, she picked up a tiny clownfish key chain instead, letting him attach it to her keys after he'd paid for it, making sure everyone in the gift shop knew it was for 'his incredibly beautiful girlfriend'. Meredith was excited to see if he was quite so embarrassing and romantic with his mother around.

"Well definitely the space needle, and anywhere else you'd like to take me. I'm sure Meredith knows dozens of nice places to go, being a Seattle native and all." Meredith went quiet and looked out of the window trying to avoid Carolyn's gaze in the rearview mirror.

"Have i put my foot in it again? I'm sorry sweetheart, Christopher and I used to be forever taking the five of them, I didn't even think that you probably didnt have the same. I guess we'll be discovering it all together." She asked apologetically. Meredith looked at the floor of the car, and Derek patted his mother's knee, trying to hide his smirk from both ladies. There was a moment of awkward silence, in which Meredith tried to figure out a way of making Carolyn think that she was somewhere normal, but being Ellis Grey's daughter, there was little chance of that. Derek opened his mouth to make a suggestion, but Carolyn beat him to it. "Well no bother, Addy gave me a list of places that might be nice to go, Nancy told her i was coming out to visit you, and she passed the list along." Derek cringed slightly at the mention of Addison, they were on good terms now, she sent the occasional email detailing her work life, and Derek would reply similarly. It was brief but it was civil, and he couldnt ask for much more.

Derek continued to drive, glancing at Meredith and smiling at her apologetically, trying to keep her spirits up, instead of making her think again about her mother and the shortcomings she faced as a child. They pulled into a car park near to the building, and Derek walked round and opened his mother's door, before taking Meredith's hand like a gentleman and guiding both ladies through the doors a grin plastered on his face that told of the surprise he had in store.

As they made their way up the space needle, Meredith wondered at what things would've been like for her if she'd had the kind of family that went to the aquarium or the zoo on weekends, that played soccer in the backyard on thanksgiving. At least she'd get to do that when they had their own kids. She would be the mom that spent her only day off baking cookies for the bake sale, or making an attempt to throw together a Halloween costume. Her kids would be sick of the sight of the tropical fish or the wild animals, they'd love the movie theatre and build a bear would be a destination whenever she felt like treating them. Shopping for clothes would involve more than the nanny poking at her and wrapping the tape measure around her before she went off and picked out half a dozen outfits that her mother would approve of. Meredith hadn't really been nurtured towards anything maternal, the only doll she ever got was anatomy jane, so she had to hope that when the time was right, everything would come naturally, and what didn't, she'd try her damnedest to pick up on her own. She had the best role model in Carolyn who squeezed her hand and held her close, the way she would have done when her own children were small. She still felt guilty for pointing out Meredith's childhood, and much like her son, she wanted to make up for it in any way that she could. Meredith smiled, finally feeling like a part of a family, something that before now, she could only have dreamed about.

After exploring the building, Derek headed towards the restaurant, whispering his name to a busboy as he entered, staff quickly coming to escort the three of them to a table near the large windows. Meredith gasped as she looked at the view, taking in the image of the whole of Seattle and beyond, the water sparkling in the rare october sunshine. Carolyn too was mesmerised by the view reaching for her camera and snapping a few photos to show to her grandchildren. Knowing that both would be distracted, Derek had ordered ahead, knowing exactly what both would want to eat. The food arrived promptly and the three tucked in quietly, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere or the wonderment of such a beautiful sight.

After coffee, the three of them walked the streets that were commonly walked by tourists, taking in the sights that were commonplace to those who had lived in Seattle for a while. Carolyn insisted on many photos, particularly of Meredith and Derek, asking passers by to take many shots of the three of them next to the more famous landmarks. Carolyn was a lover of architecture, so Derek lead them to various buildings that were of particular interest, pointing out various features while Meredith smiled. As boring as she found architecture, she loved it when Derek got passionate about something. If his mother hadn't been with them, they'd definitely be looking for a place to have sex around about now.

As the afternoon went on, Meredith began to get hungry again, and so Derek embraced Meredith's passion for food and grabbed a light dinner for them all from an Italian take out place, and they sat and watched the sun go down over the water. Satisfied that they had been appropriately fed, Derek once again took one lady on each arm and guided them towards an old theatre close to where they had parked. Meredith furrowed her brow in wonder at why Derek was bringing them to such a place. Neither were very much into arts, and Meredith had been drunk every time she'd entered a theatre in college, usually to see some friend of a friend make their debut in some of the most terrible theatre she'd ever witnessed. She looked up at the place, the name sounding familiar from one of the many architectural rambles from earlier in the day. She looked at the board, trying to figure out what they could possibly be seeing at a theatre that wouldnt be out of place in a 1920s Seattle.

"It's called culture Meredith," Derek teased as he handed over his credit card to pay for three tickets to the musical version of an old film he and Meredith had watched one weekend on the sofa. Meredith continued to frown at Derek's choice of entertainment, having slept through the middle of the film, but as soon as the lights lowered, her expression changed and by the end, she was on her feet cheering with the rest of the theatre goers. Grinning at Derek before getting wrapped up in the moment and kissing him hard, forgetting Carolyn was there momentarily until Derek pulled away slightly.

"I actually enjoyed that." She smiled as they walked back to the car. "Thank you Derek." He smiled and opened her door for her, kissing her quickly before helping his mother into her seat and driving off towards home. The journey was quiet, all three of them tired from the long day, but all of them happy, and full of appreciation for Seattle.

When they arrived home, Carolyn said her thank yous and good nights, yawning as she ascended the stairs, wanting nothing more than a good night's sleep. Derek pulled Meredith into his arms and began gently swaying with her across the living room, quietly singing one of the musical numbers to her, making her giggle in surprise before taking his hands and letting him dance with her.

"I thought you didn't sing or dance?" She jibed resting her head on his strong chest as she let him dance with her.

"In public, I don't, right here with just you, I can make an exception." The two looked into each others eyes, heading towards the stairs, tired after their day of exploring, but totally content, holding each other close as though they would never let go. When they crawled into bed after getting changed, they snuggled up together, never wanting the bliss to end.


	19. Blueprints and goodbyes

**A/N-As promised, the last we see of Carolyn for a while. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Grey's Anatomy!**

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Derek watched Meredith as she slept, guessing by the movement of her hands that she was dreaming, he laughed quietly as her facial expressions changed, grinning as her eyes flew open and looked straight at him.

"Stop watching me sleep," she giggled as he leant down to kiss her.

"Good morning to you too," he smiled as he stroked her cheek before kissing her again.

"Morning," she said smiling as he rolled on top of her. "what time is it?"

"A little after ten, why?"

"Cause your mother is going home today and we have to show her the blueprints and take her out to lunch before she checks in, we can do this later." Derek groaned and rolled back off of her.

"I'm sure you love my mother more than me." He joked as he walked towards the bathroom.

"Of course not, I love you both the same." she giggled, cutting in front of him and closing the bathroom door before he could get inside.

"Meredith!" he whined, "I was just about to…"

"That'll teach you to watch me sleep," she retorted turning on the shower. He knew she hadn't locked the door, so he left it a few minutes before he followed her in, sneaking up behind her in the shower. Izzie, Alex and George had started at seven, so they knew they had a few hours of alone time with Carolyn, so they cut their shower short, opting for a junior high style make out under the water before washing each other, their hands lingering over their more sensitive areas, known only by the other. They could smell Carolyn's cooking downstairs, and followed the smell down to the kitchen once they were both dressed.

"Morning dears," she greeted as the pair walked in and sat down. "did you sleep well, I thought better than to wake you, I know how tired the hospital can make you. I made you both some breakfast when I heard the shower. Little bit of everything."

"That's great mom," Derek told her, kissing her cheek as she placed a plate in front of him.

"You didn't have to," Meredith assured her, grateful though for the feast in front of her.

"Oh it's no bother, it's quite nice only having to cook for three for once, your nieces and nephews may be young but they sure can eat!" she joked putting her own plate on the table and joining the two as they ate. "what are our plans for the day?"

"Well, we thought we'd get your opinion on the blueprints before we finalize them, then we can go grab some lunch somewhere nice before we drop you off."

"It would've been lovely if you could've stayed another night," Meredith admitted, "we could have taken you to explore Seattle even more."

"I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for that sweetheart," Carolyn smiled. "now that I've been once, I'll have to find more excuses to keep coming back!"

When they'd finished, Derek went into his office to pull out the blueprints to show his mother. Meredith had annotated them a fair bit, so he'd spoken to his ex patient about adjusting them to Meredith's specifications. He knew that his mother would probably have much to add so he made sure to grab a pad of paper so that she could note down what she thought they might need. He laid the plans in front of Carolyn. She leafed through them poring over certain details, while both Derek and Meredith explained their vision to her. They gushed about enormous windows where they could watch the sun, and a huge deck so they could sit and admire the view whilst they ate. the possibility of a pool, and a swing set and a sandbox, and Meredith's pride and joy, the kitchen diner. She wanted three walls of kitchen, and three walls of dining room, with the breakfast bar in the middle. That way she could watch Derek cook, and if they ever entertained, they didn't have to leave their guests. Izzie and Alex had both questioned just exactly how they'd have sex in the kitchen if it was in full view, causing Meredith to blush, and quickly hide the plans, Derek hadn't dared to ask anyone their opinions since.

"So what do you think mom?" Derek asked as his mother rested the plans on the table. "it's nice," she said "Much bigger than i expected, but I think as long as you're happy with it, and it has all the things you think you and your family will want in ten or fifteen years time then that's all that matters. I love your three wall kitchen, but how are you going to stop little feet from getting in?" Meredith looked at Carolyn and then at the plans.

"Derek, she's right, if we're both in there, we're hardly going to let two little ones play alone in another room unsupervised but if we bring them in here, they can get to everything. We need a gate or something to stop them getting in and getting hurt."

"Ah, you're right." he said rubbing his hand down her back, "I guess I was so excited about just being with you that I forgot how much more we'll have together. If we're having a lifetime, we'd better put that into the house. We can always build a short wall between the kitchen and dining room, and leave a small enough gap so we can put a gate, but you'll still be able to see the kitchen from the dining room and vice versa like you wanted." Meredith pictured it, holding the blueprints in her hands. She nodded slowly, imagining how it would differ from her original plan, but deep down knowing that she would always be more conscious of safety than the way things looked. Something that certainly didn't come from her mother. She mentally built the wall and moved the breakfast bar back towards the kitchen a few feet before scribbling a note onto the legal pad in front of her, a slight hint of a pout on her lips.

"I didn't mean to offend you at all dearies," Carolyn tried to defend herself, "you'd've made it work, I just don't want to see such a beautiful plan and beautiful land have to go to someone else if you decided it wasn't right for the kiddies. You deserve to have a home that you can raise them safely and grow old in, so it has to suit both of you. House plans are hardly set in stone, when they grow up, nothing is stopping you pulling out that wall. Our house never originally had a wall around the patio at the back, until Derek decided to fall off it and hit his head. I was going to take it down and then your nieces and nephews started getting mobile and I'm glad I kept it now."

"We know, you're right mom, we have plenty of time to look over it and sort out what we want. This is why I needed you to look at them, we've never had to think about these things, and you had five of us, so you know better than most what'll work." They talked through the rest of the plans making little adjustments here and there, almost as though they were subconsciously figuring out how to babyproof before the house was even built. It seemed that babies were on both Derek and Meredith's minds, even though they'd both said it would be a long time before they were definitely ready. Meredith was surprised to find that having spent time with Carolyn, the thought didn't scare her quite as much as it had before. She wasn't ready for a baby just yet, but she was no longer scared, and that was good enough progress for her.

Time began to slip away from them, and Derek was eager to get to lunch, knowing Carolyn would want to shop at the airport.

"Okay, well let's pop them away for now, you can send me a copy of the final thing when you've decided what you want, you seem to have a good grip on it all sweethearts. As long as you keep looking forwards, you'll not go far wrong. I just need to put my things together and we can be getting off to lunch." Carolyn said, passing them to her son, and going back to her room to ensure she'd picked everything up, basking in the last few moments of her time in the house before she had to leave her little boy behind.

Meredith was quiet over lunch, and Derek knew that she was thinking about something. She joined in the polite conversation, but he knew there was something getting to her. He wondered if maybe it was the blueprints, the thought of children scaring her, causing her to close in on herself. He knew he'd been pushing about the future for a while, he was trying to take it at her pace, but he'd been pushing just a little bit. When they were looking at the plans, his mother had been focussed on the future children, Meredith had gone along with it, he assumed she was fine with it, but he was a little scared at how quickly things were happening so he couldn't imagine what was going on with Meredith. He left the issue a while until his mother excused herself to the restroom.

"What's wrong Mer?" he prodded gently, hoping that she could be coaxed out of herself long enough to enjoy the rest of their meal. Meredith looked at him as though she was debating whether or not to tell him. She looked back down at her barely touched plate.

"I don't want her to go." She whispered, the tears creeping to the surface as she wiped them away. "It's just been so lovely having a mom around, and I know it's silly, but I just wish she were here longer so I could have longer doing the mom thing. I know how pathetic that sounds but…" Derek smiled and kissed her forehead, tilting her face up so that their eyes met.

"it's not pathetic Meredith. Oh god, no. I wish she could stay longer too. Having my two favourite women all to myself has been lovely. I know exactly what you mean, its been so perfect that you almost don't want it to end." She nodded, wiping away a few more tears.

"I was so scared that it would be awful, and now the only thing that's awful is that she's going home. When I was growing up, my friends had their parents to go to whenever they needed them, and I just had to get on with it, I didn't know any different, but now I know what its like having someone there to share their wisdom, I don't want it to just be gone." She sniffled, and forced a smile as Carolyn sat back down.

"Meredith sweetie, eat up, you never know when you're going to get another decent meal after your weekend off. I can't imagine that hospital food is particularly nutritious, or a quick snack at three am when you get in, come on we've got to be at the airport soon." She pretended not to see Meredith's tears, something for which Meredith was grateful for. After raising five children and watching 15 grandchildren, she knew exactly what those tears meant. It seemed that she had very much gained a daughter on this trip, one who very much needed mothering. She knew that having Ellis Grey as a mother would've meant that Meredith missed out on a lot as a child, particularly that basic feeling of being loved and cared for and Carolyn knew that it was about time someone made up for that, her son was doing his part, but he couldn't be her mother, that was a job that only Carolyn could do now.

They quickly finished their meal, with Derek insisting on paying the bill, ever the gentleman, before they headed towards the airport.

"I have a two hour delay," Carolyn announced when she was done checking in. "you two are welcome to go, I'm sure you don't want to spend the afternoon stuck in an airport with me. I'll only be searching the shops for gifts for your nieces and nephews anyway."

"I wanna stay," Meredith said to Derek, knowing he'd say yes after her outburst earlier on, she wanted to savour the last few hours with Carolyn, before they all had to go back to the real world and leave their little bubble that they had spent the weekend in.

"Yeah, let us help you pick some things out mom. We can educate Meredith on your expanding brood." He chuckled, earning himself the look from his mother that he had learned was about to get him told off.

"It'll only expand when you and Amy start giving me grandchildren. Your sisters have theirs, and the two of you still haven't done the one thing I asked of you both." Meredith giggled and Derek put his arm around her waist pulling her closer as they followed his mother towards the map of nearby shops.

"Just wait, one day she'll be asking you when her next grandchild is on its way. She won't want to hear how many times you publish or how many lives you save, its all about the grandbabies." He kissed her head as they walked towards one of the many shops. Meredith was part of a family who asked each other this kind of thing, and it made her smile. Meredith grey was part of a family.

She took great delight in walking around shops designed for tourists and picking out little gifts for Derek's relatives. Seeing teddy bears with the name of the city she was born in and the place she found her family pleased her, though not as much as the idea of giving such things to the young people in Derek's family. Carolyn and Derek watched her amused as she picked up toys and stationary and t-shirts to the specification of each niece and nephew in turn, and marched to the till to handover the money for such pleasantries. They sat down to coffee, and Meredith began to waver again, knowing she'd soon be saying goodbye to the woman that had felt more like her mother than anyone she'd ever known. She held it together, smiling and joking as Carolyn told them about the things that she was returning to, but when the boarding call came she couldn't help but let more of her tears escape. Carolyn pulled her son close as she walked towards the gate with promises to phone when she landed and to make arrangements for Christmas nearer the time. She released her grip and reached for Meredith, her hug lingering for longer, knowing that hugs weren't a thing she was accustomed to.

"I'm gonna miss you." Meredith choked, the tears making their way down her pale cheeks.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm gonna miss you too. But remember, I'm a phone call away. I know you share most things with Derek, but if you need a mom then you know where I am." She reached up and planted a kiss on Meredith's forehead, a promise that things would change for her now that she'd fallen for her son. She gave the pair of them one last hug before walking towards the gate. Meredith leant against Derek's chest as she walked away, back towards her life in New York, both of them a little stronger now for seeing her.

It was quiet that night at home. Izzie was excited to know how things had gone with Carolyn, ambushing Meredith as soon as she got in from work. As she walked into the lounge to ask for all the gory details, she expected Meredith to detail every moment that made her cringe, every crossed word or strange look, but the look on Meredith's face when she spoke told her otherwise. Meredith was calm and happy, smiling and laughing with a sense of something that Izzie had never see. Meredith Grey had become bright and shiny. Meredith Grey was smitten with the Shepherds.


	20. Back to reality

**A/N- So we all know the proposal is coming soon, and there's a ring at last, but it's not happening just yet, but it's coming trust me. The next few chapters are a little slow, and nothing is moving quite as fast as I'd like, but I'm hoping it'll speed up once the ring is on her finger. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer- Grey's Anatomy isn't mine.**

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The early wake up the next day was far from welcomed after three days of not having to wake up for anything but Carolyn's cooked breakfasts, but Derek was energised, he had a proposal plan in his head, and not long to complete it in. He had to talk to the jeweller, as well as Mark, Cristina, Bailey and the chief. Then he had to organise the entire day, all whilst keeping Meredith completely in the dark. He'd been thinking about it for weeks, he knew exactly how he was going to propose, he had the ring, he had a day, now he just had to set everything else in motion. He bounded to the shower and around the house, whipping up breakfast for the two of them as well as Alex and Izzie while Meredith dragged herself out of bed and slumped towards the shower in an effort to wake herself up. She made her way tiredly down the stairs, tripping on the last stair and grabbing the bannister before she fell flat on her face, cursing the wood as well as her clumsy feet. Derek walked through after hearing her trip, and handed her a huge mug of coffee which she accepted gratefully, inhaling the scent before taking a long sip from the mug. Her sleepiness began to lift slightly and she finally made the effort to talk to a very perky Derek.

"Why are you so happy this morning?" She asked groggily. She was the polar opposite of Derek when it came to mornings. She'd grudgingly get up early if she had to, but Derek would happily get up at 5am for no reason whatsoever. "Your day is filled with meetings and paperwork and whatever else the head of neuro does when he's not cutting." Derek laughed before kissing her hard. He could so easily ask her here and now, but he wanted it to be perfect, and he wanted every little detail sorted out, including talking to Meredith's hospital family. He had braved Addison's father to ask for her hand, so he had to gain Meredith's hand too. Meredith grinned as they came up for air, in utter disbelief at his excitement over such a boring day. His happiness was almost contagious though, and she found herself feeling much more ready to face the day than when she woke up.

"I just really love paperwork." he laughed, grabbing his briefcase from the table, heading to his office to put the papers and case notes inside along with everything he needed for his day. Meredith laughed at his goofiness, looking at Izzie who was trying not to choke on her tea.

"Should I grab extra earplugs?" Alex joked, "A lie like that has to end in some pretty mind-blowing sex." Meredith and Izzie laughed, and tried to control themselves before Derek came back, snorting when he came back into the room, coat on, a grin plastered on his face.

"You ready to go?" He asked Meredith, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Meredith picked up her travel mug, filling it with coffee and followed him towards the door, picking up her scarf and coat from the hook.

"Sap," Alex murmured as they walked towards the front door.

"Did Karev just call me a sap?" Derek asked Meredith, a look of genuine upset on his face.

"Aw, it's okay, you're my sap." Meredith assured him, matching his pouty face with her own before kissing him. Little did she know that he'd soon be hers forever. She had it in one, he was hers, and he intended to be hers for all of eternity, starting in just under two weeks. Derek smiled against Meredith's lips, pulling away to look into her gorgeous green eyes before wrapping his arm around her waist and leading her towards the car, ready to face the day together.

Derek and Meredith grabbed a cup of coffee together from the cart as they got to the hospital. They stood in the lobby chatting to the vendor before heading inside and parting ways. Meredith was heading to the tunnels so that Cristina could hear all about the weekend, and it gave Derek a chance to talk to Bailey before rounds began. He spotted her near the nurses station and ran towards her.

"Bailey!" he called "Bailey do you have a sec? It's about Meredith." Miranda Bailey looked up at him, a look of concern flickering on her face, before being replaced with an air of 'what did you do?'. "it's not bad I promise," he gestured to an empty conference room away from prying ears. The pair sat down and he took a deep breath and came out with it. "I'm going to propose."

"What? Are you serious?" Bailey questioned loudly, her mouth agape. "You're asking my resident, one of my babies to marry your navy scrubbed ass?." Derek nodded, a schoolboy grin on his face. "Wait, what does this have to do with me? What did you do?"

"Nothing, yet, but I'd like to, and I'd like to do it all properly," Derek hesitated, wondering how best to ask Dr. Bailey what he'd been meaning to. "but she doesn't really have a mother or a father, so I thought maybe I could ask you and Richard permission for her hand. I'm gonna talk to Richard later, but she's like your hospital daughter as such so I hoped that maybe the pair of you might give me her hand?"

"Derek Shepherd." She beamed at him. "I am honored. I really appreciate that sentiment, and if Grey knew, I know she'd feel the same way. I'm all for you marrying her, my blessing is entirely yours. It's nice to see one of my babies getting married the old fashioned traditional way, where they know the guy, and he doesn't leave her at the altar. But if you hurt so much as one hair on that girl's head, I'm gonna kick your ass, shepherd."

"Understood." Derek nodded emphatically.

"Let me see the ring." Miranda demanded. Derek pulled out the box his mother had given him.

"It's my mother's, I'm having it changed a bit though, Meredith drew a picture of one with a patient and I thought it might be nice to make it real." He smoothed out the paper drawing that he'd been keeping with the ring since his mother gave it to him.

"Wow, that ring is stunning on its own, it's going to be beautiful with the changes. You're right, it screams Grey. I wouldn't have taken her for the ring type, but this. This is perfect. Good job Shepherd. So how you gonna propose?" Bailey had gotten over the initial shock, and was practically giddy at the thought of a little bit of romance at Seattle Grace.

"Well…" Derek reeled off the details to her, her smile widening as he went on. Their pagers alerted them to the fact that rounds were about to begin and they went their separate ways. Miranda patted his arm as she left him, a silent gesture of gratitude for bringing a little bit of happiness and a little bit of hope back into all of their lives. Derek breathed a sigh as he headed off towards his post-op patient's down, three to go.

Derek had deliberately chosen against doing elective surgeries that day in case he and Meredith needed an extra day or his mother's flight details changed. He had caught up on a lot of the paperwork that had been building on his desk, and tidied up an article on an inoperable tumor he'd removed a few weeks previously. As he searched his briefcase for some notes his neuro fellow had made, he spotted the ring box. He sat back in his chair, looking at it sparkling in the light of the small window and picked up the phone, dialling the number of the jewellers that his mother had given him.

"Hi, my name's Dr. Shepherd," He began, forgetting that outside of the medical world, few people knew who he actually was. "I was told you would be able to adjust an engagement ring for me, and change the setting a little." He paused as the jeweller spoke of his work. "How long does the average average adjustment take? Great, great." A grin spread across his face as the jeweller continued. "I have a rough sketch of the changes I'd like, I can have it to you by this afternoon. That's great, thank you. Bye." Mark knocked and entered just as he was putting down the phone.

"So, did she hate her, did the claws come out, d'you need a place to stay now?" he asked making Derek laugh.

"No, but I am proposing." He grinned, loving the way it sounded coming from his mouth.

"To Grey? That's great." Mark wrapped his arms around his friend, slapping him on the back. "Did you get the ring?"

"That's the thing, I need someone to drop it off for me, it needs a few changes, mom suggested a place downtown, but I need to get it there this afternoon so that they can get it ready in for me in time." Derek explained about the picture and how he wanted to recreate it for Meredith before passing Mark the address. Mark promised to have it there by the end of his lunch, a lunch that Derek now owed him apparently. Derek's pager sounded alerting him to a trauma coming into the pit, with a requested neuro consult. Derek made his way there, Thanking Mark again on the way out. He'd spoken to two of the people he needed to talk to, but talking to the chief would have to wait a while.

He scrubbed in on an emergent depressed skull fracture. A nine year old girl involved in a hit and run. He would never understand how someone could leave a little girl dying in the street while people looked on, leaving them to clear up his mess. It had been tricky, and there had been a lot of bleeding, far more than he would've liked, but he managed the repair, and was about to begin closing when she coded. The entire OR held their breath as the appropriate drugs were given along with jolts of electricity to restart her heart. He'd fought hard to save her, he had done his job, his team had done their jobs. He called for one more round of eppy and one more shock and as he was about to call it, and let her go, she stabilised. The team breathed a collective sigh of relief as Derek began to close, taking care to avoid another code. Cases like this made his job worthwhile, a life snatched from the very jaws of death, a life that would continue because of him. Parents would have their child again, classmates would be told bad news instead of the worst news, in a month or so, everyone who knew that girl would be thankful for him, for returning their little girl, almost as good as new. Cases like this made being a surgeon totally worth it. His phone buzzed as he left the OR, a picture message from Mark of the jewellers downtown, and to let him know the price and date the ring would be ready. He texted back his thanks and waited for Mark's reply. The jeweller apparently had resketched Meredith's drawing. She wasn't hugely gifted in the arts and crafts department, so he couldn't but laugh at the fact her drawing was suggested to be rather childlike by the jeweller. Derek went back to his office, and lay back in his chair, hands behind his head, the way he often did when he felt he had triumphed in some way. He had just two people left to tell, the chief, and Cristina. The easy part was over, if anyone was going to throw a wrench into his plans, it was them. It was soon time to be getting home anyway, Meredith's shift finished at 8 and he'd had no word of her being any later than that. He gathered his things and went over to the nurses station to see if he could request Cristina on his service tomorrow. It was a two surgery day, but they were routine, for Cristina, boring, but it gave him the chance to sit with her and get her honest opinion on how Meredith would react, and hopefully, get her on board with the proposal.

As he walked down the stairs to the lobby he spotted Meredith waiting for him, George was with her, a coffee in his hand, it seemed he'd got the short straw and was spending even more time at the hospital. Mondays were often the worst day of the week, when many of the non-emergent cases from the weekend were slotted into the ORs, leaving mountains of post-ops to look after in addition to the emergent cases that came through the doors. George had been on ortho that day, and Derek had eyed the scans on Callie's patient before leaving. There was no neurological issues, but Callie and George had a long night ahead of them if they were going to enable the young man to walk again. Meredith was smiling, which had to be a good thing. Derek was just grateful that they were talking. The last of George's things had been gone for a few days, and gradually the relationship between Meredith and George and Lexie had improved, more than once resulting in the pair of them at the house, making full use of the coffee facilities.

"Hey," Meredith said as she saw him approach, before turning to George "enjoy your surgery George." She said as he got up to leave, a goofy grin on his face.

"Ready to go?" Derek questioned her as he pushed her gently towards the door, his hand on the small of her back. She leant into him, her arm behind his back, resting on his hip. They walked to the car, and he began to recall the details of his surgery, her awe inspired expression boosting his ego even further.

After a simple dinner of spaghetti, and Meredith's signature bagged salad on the side. They settled for an early night, just snuggling together rewatching the Lion King, which was rapidly becoming Meredith's new favourite film.

"I still can't believe that is who Izzie agreed I looked like." Meredith frowned when Timon appeared on the screen, her expression almost mirroring the character's.

"It's actually quite uncanny." he joked as Meredith hit him with a pillow before yawning widely. Meredith was terrible for getting back in a routine after days off, and Bailey, it seemed hadn't gone easy on her, especially when she knew the weekend had gone well, and she didn't need to tiptoe around Meredith. She was exhausted, and she'd lost a patient that she'd been working with for a while, so she just wanted to be kissed and held and to fall asleep in his arms. Derek didn't mind, if everything went to plan, he'd have forever to do more than that, for now he'd stick to reminding her that he was never ever letting go, that he'd be there whenever she needed him for the rest of their lives. He kissed her hair as she snuggled into his chest forcing her eyes to stay open and watch the rest of the film, and failing as her eyes slipped shut and her gentle snores filled the room. Derek stopped the film, and picked her up in his strong arms, gently carrying the love of his life to their bed, laying her so that they were facing. A position he wanted to wake up in every morning, and to be the last thing he saw at night. He couldn't wait to slide the ring onto her slender surgeons finger and start another chapter of their happily ever after.

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**A/N- I thought he'd be traditional about it! He's gonna ask the others in the next chapter, he's happy for the time being. It's a fair bit of Derek in these chapters, because this is him growing up a little, which he needed to do. Meredith will flit in and out as will the others but for a little while it's just Derek.**


	21. Asking permission

**A/N- Another Derek chapter, but it didn't feel right putting it with the previous one. Things will start to pick up the pace a little soon, but there's still a few things I want to get through before the big day. Thanks to those that review and have added it to their alerts, it means a lot!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own any of it!**

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Meredith was on call again on Tuesday night, and she didn't have to be at the hospital until 12, so Derek kissed her gently on the forehead before he left for his early surgery, leaving her to sleep an extra couple of hours. He made his way to work and strode through the glass doors, almost immediately bumping into the chief, quickly pulling him into a conference room, sitting him down ready to tell him his plans.

"I want to ask Meredith to marry me." He said, gaining him a surprised and confused look from the chief. "you're her key to her mother, you knew her better than anyone, and I know Meredith looks to you as a sort of a father figure sometimes when we're at the hospital, so I wanted to ask you, seeings as her mother and Thatcher aren't really options here, if you'd give your blessing, that is can I please have Meredith's hand in marriage?" He looked pleadingly at the cheif, waiting for the right second to ask for his help in proposing to the woman that he loved. "I spoke to Dr. Bailey as her pseudo mother, and I have plans to talk to Yang, but in the spirit of trying to be traditional and do this properly, I figured I had to ask her father, which for all intents and purposes I figure is you. She'd kill me if she knew I'd called you her father, but you were there the day she was born, you saw her as a kid..."

"I changed her first diaper," The cheif grinned, before sitting back in his chair and thinking fr a moment. "Well Derek, I don't really know what to say. Obviously, I think you'll be a fine husband for Meredith, and I'm honoured that you asked me. My blessing is all yours, but I'm getting the feeling there's rather more to this than just asking my approval, especially when I think you knew you already had it." The cheif looked at Derek waiting for him to ask whatever it was he was holding back on.

"That's the thing. I have a big proposal planned, it's incredibly cheesy, but I know she's gonna lap it up anyway. I need your help as chief to make it happen." Derek relayed the details of his plan, and the chief nodded his head in approval. Derek handed him a list, pointing out several features that were relevant to him. The chief smiled. Derek had a good plan. And he was a good man, really looking out for Meredith and doing a lot to make her happy. He knew Derek had come to him as cheif, as a mentor, but also as a friend, a pseudo father in law, and maybe to a lesser extent even a father figure of his own. Derek had obviously sought his mother's approval, and now he needed him to approve it. As much as he needed approval for Meredith, he needed it for himself. He needed to know what he already knew that Meredith was the one and he was making the right choice by marrying her. And as both cheif, father and friend, Dr. Webber was more than happy to tell him he was making the right decision.

"If you can get me a good estimate of timings, then I'll be happy to try and help. You have to remember, it is a busy hospital so some things are even out of my hands, but Derek, I will try. Meredith deserves a little bit of happiness, something to get her through, help her move past all of the bad things. We both know that if anyone can give her that it's you. If you need me for anything else, you know where I am. I assume Meredith has no idea?" Derek shook his head. "Then let's keep it that way, if anyone gives you trouble you send them to me. No one ruins my little girl's engagement."

"Thanks Richard," Derek said extending his hand to shake the chief's. Just one final roadblock, and operation proposal would be a reality. He breathed a sigh of relief as he rose up from his chair, smiling to himself at how soon he would be down on one knee asking Meredith to spend the rest of her life with him.

"Derek," The cheif said as he got up to leave the room for rounds. "To be honest, at first I couldn't understand why she continued in a relationship that could have been detrimental to her career, one that caused her friends to turn on her and her superiors to question her ability, but I see it now, right there when you were telling me what you wanted for her, going over the big events in your relationship, right then I knew she'd made the right choice. Good luck Shepherd. Just whatever you do, don't hurt her again." Derek smiled. He knew it was the right thing, but hearing it from the cheif, that just made him all the more certain.

"I promise," Derek said sincerely, never more determined to keep a promise than right then. He loved Meredith, more than he even thought possible, and he would do his very best to sheild her from harm for as long as they both lived. He'd promised her forever, because he knew that that was how long he'd love her for, She was it for him, there would be no hurting Meredith, not anymore. They'd both grown up in the last year, especially in the last few months. They were ready to take the next step, admittedly a big one but they both wanted this, and so far, the most important people in her life wanted it for them too. He just had to talk to Cristina, and he'd be that little bit closer to giving her happily ever after.

"Please tell me I get to scrub in on something interesting." Cristina pleaded as she joined Shepherd after rounds. "If I'm forced to stare at brains all day at least let it be something that won't have me falling asleep at the table."

"Well we have two procedures today, an aneurysm clip and a craniotomy this afternoon. I know they're both routine and dull for you, but I actually need you for something else too. I have to talk to you about Meredith, and its sort of a surprise so I'd like your input." Cristina gave him a disgusted look. She'd known Meredith long enough to know that surprises, for the two of them often meant something considerably porny. "It's nothing sexual, it's more of a gift, and I'd like your opinion." She sneered at him, and sighed. "It's one day Cristina then you can go back to whatever it is you do all day."

"Fine," she gave in "I'll go prep the patient."

The surgery was as he expected, routine. It even took a little less time than he'd anticipated. He passed the closure onto his fellow and scrubbed out with his girlfriend's twisted sister. He took Cristina up to his office, much to her disgust, and sat down opposite her.

"I'm going to propose to Meredith." He blurted out, his heart racing, much less calm with Cristina than he had been with anyone else. If he was being honest with himself, he was terrified of the woman, she was driven to an almost incomparable degree, and she and Meredith were so close that they may as well have been twins. She was the one Meredith would freak out to, the one that would talk her into doing what she was afraid to let herself do. He needed Cristina on board so that Meredith could allow herself to say yes. She needed Cristina to make her certain that there could be a happily ever after.

"You're proposing? That's your big thing. I could've told you that ages ago. The only one who doesnt know you're about five minutes away from proposing is Meredith, and she's so caught up in the hair and the smile and the nibbling her ear in the OR that she doesn't really see anything, even if it is right there in front of her face."

"It's that obvious?"He said, suddenly worried about Meredith figuring it out.

"Maybe not to you and Meredith, but yeah, its pretty obvious. The pair of you are going to ride off into the sunset and have like a dozen little mcdreamys, its gonna happen, everybody knows it." She rolled her eyes as if she were pointing out something seriously obvious. "But i don't get it. How does this affect me?"

"Well as Meredith's best friend, her person." He emphasised, "I thought you could help me out with the proposal. Bailey and the chief are on board, but its you i really need. I need you to keep her calm and throw her off scent, and make sure she gets to the finish line." He retold his plan for the final time. Cristina was unreadable. It was a skill he admired in her when it came to operating and exploring patient histories, but the rest of the time it was unnerving. She pursed her lips at his idea before she gave him a blunt reply.

"That's a terrible idea." She grimaced "but she's gonna love it, it's shameful." Derek looked at her pleadingly, knowing even Cristina couldn't resist his Mcdreamy charm when anything was Meredith related. "Fine I'll do it. Give me the details and I'll make sure it's all going to plan for you. God she had to fall for you." Cristina scoffed and rolled her eyes again. Derek chuckled, facing Cristina wasn't quite as bad as he thought. He should probably let her cut a little on his next surgery that way she might keep on his good side, at least until Meredith said yes.

As he scrubbed in for his next surgery, alongside Cristina, he let his mind wander. He was going to ask Meredith. Soon. All he had left to do was to get her to where he'd be waiting, down on one knee. He grinned as he imagined her reaction when she realised why she'd been asked to get there, how it would feel when everything fell into place for her, how it would feel for him if and when she said yes, which as the days went by seemed more and more likely. Cristina caught his expression and smirked.

"She's going to hate you when it's all over." she joked "good job you're proposing or you'd find yourself on the couch for a week." They laughed and fell silent, a moment passing between them, a quiet gratitude for the other. They rarely saw eye to eye, but at the end of the day they both wanted nothing more than to see Meredith happy, and in a few weeks, they knew that she would be happier than she had been in her entire life.

After the surgery, the three met in the cafeteria, each grabbing a coffee before they went their separate ways. Derek smiled at Meredith, totally in awe at how perfect she was to him, the tiny lines on her face when she laughed, or the way she gestured so hard that her coffee barely stayed on the table. Cristina, in any other situation would've mocked the pair of them, but she wasnt one to stand in the way of someone else's happiness, not when it was as special as it was with her best friend and the man that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. It brought back memories of Burke, and the love that they had shared, however breif and fleeting it had been. When it came to getting married, she had always had her doubts, she was never totally sure if it was right, looking at Meredith and Derek, she knew that if anyone was going to make it, it would be them. They had fought to be together, they had faced the worst together and were seeing each other at their best. They were Seattle Grace's golden couple for a reason, and they weren't losing that spot anytime soon. Derek soon left, kissing Meredith passionately before heading home to plan the proposal in even finer detail. She hugged him before he left, something they'd become accustomed to doing anytime one of them was on call without the other. He kissed her hair and rubbed her back before letting her go back to saving lives.

Meredith sat with Cristina at the nurses station charting in between checking up on the patients in their care.

"Was Derek weird with you today?" Meredith asked her friend. "He's been all happy and giddy since his mom left, it's exhausting. Yesterday, he practically ran out of the door because he had paperwork to do, I mean who does that?"

"Mcdreamy does. He was away from the hospital for almost four days, I'm surprised both of you survived." Meredith chuckled at her friends response, knowing that Derek was married to neuro, his compassion for his patients almost incomparable. She also knew that it took more than surgery to get him this excited, and it began to puzzle her rather a lot.

"So he wasn't weird?" She ventured, hoping her friend might enlighten her on her boyfriend's odd behaviour.

"No more than normal." Cristina joked looking at her pager when she heard a noise.

"It's mine," Meredith said, getting up out of her seat. "Mark's burn guy isn't in great shape. See you later." She ran off towards her patient room. Cristina breathed, sincerely hoping that it would be that easy to throw Meredith off the scent of Derek's odd behaviour over the next few days, if not, she was in for a long couple of weeks.


	22. Jose's curse

**A/N- This is way longer than usual, my apologies, it was originally going to be split, but it didn't quite work as two separate parts, so it's long instead! The second half was the first part of the fic I ever wrote, so even though the story would survive without this chapter, I decided to put it in anyway! Big thanks to those that review and put me in their alerts, it makes me a very happy person.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Grey's Anatomy, if I did, there would be a lot less intern time in the new season! **

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As the week wore on, Derek had gathered everything he needed to make the proposal happen. He had a date to pick up the ring, and he'd begun the long process of talking to the relevant friends and colleagues that he wanted to be part of the event. The chief had been a godsend, arranging for OR schedules to be changed so that they were empty for brief spaces of time, and patient rooms and trauma bays were to be left clear unless absolutely essential. Bailey had done an amazing job of keeping Meredith occupied with work, dreaming up brilliant cases with all the attendings, and allowing her to scrub in regularly, leaving her little time to ponder her friends increasingly excited glances, as they each found out their part in Derek's proposal. Derek's excitement only grew as time went on, and he began to count down the days until he would ask Meredith Grey to be his wife. He was trying desperately to stay calm around her, but the frequent death stares and questioning if he really was ok told Derek that he wasn't hiding his excitement quite as well as he'd hoped.

In the little free time she had outside of the hospital, Meredith found her self spending long periods of time poring over the blueprints of their dream house, changing and rearranging things until finally, she found a place for all of the rooms, and the perfect measurements for each feature of her fairy-tale house in the woods. Every detail in every room was meticulously planned, and she'd found a sudden passion for interior design, nurtured by Izzie and a half a dozen furniture catalogues she'd brought for 'inspiration'. As Friday came to a close she showed her completed plan to Derek, showing him the places their kids would sleep. Where they would eat, play and study as well as the places that would allow Meredith and Derek a little space of their own, as well as the places where they would be together. Derek studied them in awe at how much of Meredith was hidden in the plans, from the porch swing to the nursery window seat. It made his heart melt when she numbered the bedrooms as though planning where each child would sleep. He looked up at her expectant face and kissed her passionately, laying her down on the bed ready to undress them both, stopping only when Meredith's stomach began to grumble.

"You need to be fed Dr. Grey." Derek announced as he took her hand and led her down towards the kitchen.

"But what about my plans?" she asked. "We need to take them to the guy."

"I'll call him in a while." Derek said, "He has a copy of the original plans, and I told him to hold off until you'd finished adjusting them before he made them permanent. He's the best Meredith; he'll do whatever you want however you want it. I've seen some of the stuff he's designed, we're lucky to have him. He puts the people into the house, never are any two plans the same. Our house is one of a kind and it's all ours. " He leaned in and kissed her, holding her tightly as they descended the stairs and entered the kitchen.

Alex pressed the end call button just as the pair reached the kitchen.

"Mer!" he exclaimed "Cormack is gone!"

"He is?" she asked jumping into the seat next to Alex "does this mean Joe's?"

"Hell yeah! Cristina just called, said she'd meet us there in half an hour, Lexie's showering then we're going, you in?"

"What's that?" Derek questioned the pair confused at their delight in a fellow resident's dismissal. "Are you celebrating the fact that Cormack got fired?"

"Not really." Meredith assured him "it's just like a tradition, when one of the surgical residents leaves or gets fired, we head down to Joes and have a few drinks, you know like a wake or whatever."

"So is Cormack gonna be there with you?" Derek looked puzzled.

"God no," Alex confirmed "we hate that guy." He and Meredith grimaced at each other, united in their dislike of their former colleague.

"Okay, well I think I'll give it a miss then." Derek told them. "Have fun." He added giving Meredith a peck on the cheek before gathering the ingredients to make her a sandwich, something that was more important now that she was going to be drinking.

"Well it's kind of a residents only thing anyway." Meredith informed him. "I'll see you when we get home. Don't forget to call the guy." She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she ran past him and up the stairs to change, Alex following behind her. Derek looked blankly at the stairs, now devoid of residents. He put the finished sandwich on a plate and followed them to the stairs.

"Meredith?" He called, and she came rushing back down the stairs, in just her camisole and panties. She looked at him expectantly and he passed her the plate. "Eat please." Meredith picked up one half and took three big bites, chewing quickly and swallowing before kissing his cheek again.

"Thanks." she said jogging up a few more stairs.

"Aren't you going to finish it?" Derek said sternly, hoping that she'd pick up on his tone and come back for more.

"I'm good," She informed him. "I have to get ready, you can finish it if you want." She smiled and ran back up the stairs. Derek sat down on the couch and took a bite of the sandwich, mayo dripping out onto his shirt. He sighed, wiping at it with a napkin.

"Well isn't that just perfect."

It was a little after eleven when Derek got a phone call from Joe, informing him that Meredith had had rather too much to drink, letting him know that she would definitely need a ride home, as would Cristina. He'd only just gotten off the phone with the guy that was helping him with his house plans, a former patient's father who was giving him an amazing deal as a thank you for saving his daughter's life after a nasty collision with a tree. Joe had sounded flustered on the phone, which could only mean that Meredith had had just a few too many and needed rescuing from herself. He got to the bar soon after to find Meredith and her friend standing side by side against the bar in front of an uncomfortable looking Joe.

"Don't you know who I am?" Meredith questioned the bartender. "I am lady Tallulah of London, England and I wish to drink here at this establishment, so I suggest that you give us lots of tequila or I'll have to tell all my friends in England how terrible the service is here at Joes bar." She slurred in a terrible attempt at a British accent. Derek stifled a laugh. He'd seen her drunk before, he happened to enjoy drunk Meredith, but Lady Tallulah was new to him. He'd heard her mentioned once or twice, when Meredith had spoken briefly about her time in England, but he hadn't been lucky enough to meet her until tonight.

"It's not Joes bar, its Dorothy's," Cristina informed her "its Emerald City, Mer. That's why everything looks green."

"It's not green, Cristina, its rainbow colours and it's so pretty." Meredith began to spin around taking in the lights and the pictures surrounding the bar. "I think you must be drunk Cristina." Cristina stared at the ceiling, starting to dance alongside Meredith. Joe breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted Derek.

"Dr. Shepherd," he breathed. "I stopped serving her and took her keys about a half an hour ago, Lexie and Alex left in her cab, and dr. Grey was replaced with her ladyship here." He was interrupted by Meredith shouting at him again.

"Don't serve him before me. I am lady Tallulah. Lady Tallulah, Joe!" she stopped spinning long enough to point her finger at Joe before she stumbled towards the bar, Derek catching her and forcing her to sit down for a second.

"How many has she had?" he asked Joe, ignoring Meredith's protests. "Well there's a few here on her tab, and she paid six maybe seven with cash but that was a while ago." Derek pulled his wallet from his pocket and handed Joe several bills to pay for Meredith's drinks, filed away his change and proceeded to wrap his arms around the two ladies, one around each of their waists before throwing them over his shoulders, both girls groaning at the sudden loss of ground beneath their feet.

"Thanks Joe, I'll pick the car up in the morning!" he called as Joe raised his hand as a goodbye. "Come on your ladyship, let's get you home."

After managing to strap both women in the car, they drove back to Meredith's house, stopping just once for Meredith to be sick on the side of the road. When he pulled into her driveway, he opened Christina's door first, lifting her into his arms, putting her on the ground again as she began to gag, vomiting loudly over the gravel. He carried her inside, depositing her in the first floor bathroom where she hugged the toilet bowl, throwing up some more. He went back for Meredith, finding her asleep and drooling over his front seatbelt.

"Beautiful!" he whispered, unbuckling her and throwing her over his shoulder "come on lady Tallulah; let's get you out of these clothes." Rather than reply, Meredith grabbed a hold of his ass, rubbing circles with her hands.

"You have such a nice butt," she complimented. "d'you have a girlfriend?"

"I'm sorry your ladyship but I'm in love with a woman named Meredith Grey, maybe the two of you can meet sometime."

"That'd be good," she stated, patting his rear gently as he manoeuvred the pair of them inside, pressing the lock button on his keys before closing the door behind them. "What's your name?"

"My name? it's Derek. but Meredith likes to call me Mcdreamy."

"Derek," she groaned, "I don't feel so good."

He changed her, and set her on the floor in the bathroom adjoining their bedroom, holding her hair and rubbing her back as she vomited repeatedly into the toilet bowl. It seemed that they were there for the night, Derek didn't want to leave her, so he sat against the wall beside her, catching what little sleep he could, only leaving the bathroom to check that Cristina was also still ok in the other bathroom. He felt Meredith begin to replace lady Tallulah as the night wore on, and by 8 am Saturday morning, she had definitely begun to sober up considerably.

"Derek" she moaned miserably as he came strolling into their bathroom, turning on the lights, "too bright!" barely uttering her words before she was faced once again with the contents of her stomach, or what little there was left after an entire evening of alternating between hunching over the toilet and pressing her cheek to the cool floor. He rubbed her back and whispered softly in her ear.

"It's okay, it's alright" he repeated over and over, as he held her hair with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. She slid herself away from the toilet bowl and laid her head in his lap hugging her knees to her chest as he reached for a washcloth and rubbed her grey, sweat sheened forehead. She groaned at his gesture and wrapped an arm over his thighs breathing in the fading scent of his washing powder and a smell that was uniquely Derek, her Derek. A smell that comforted her more than anything he could've done for her.

"Why does my body hate me so much?" she whispered finally opening her eyes to look up at the adoring blue ones above her.

"I think when you drink your body weight in José Cuervo it can have that effect" he chuckled pressing a kiss onto her damp forehead.

"But I only had a few shots, just seven or eight maybe."

"Is that right?" Derek laughed again, pulling Meredith into a sitting position, her head pressed against his chest.

"Joe sucks for taking my keys, I could've gotten home fine!" her voice getting gradually stronger as her nausea began to subside.

"Remind me to thank Joe for that" he retorted, laughing harder as Meredith aimed one of her ineffectual fists at him, barely making contact.

"Where's my phone?" Meredith questions closing her eyes again after straightening up too quickly, "I need to call Cristina."

"No need" Derek informed her, "she's currently occupying your first floor bathroom, at least she was when I checked on her half an hour ago. I don't know what your neighbours must've thought of me, carrying two intoxicated ladies into the house, while being mindlessly groped by one of them. Then again, they were witness to you trying to undress me on your porch the night we first met, and the night you took advantage of me in the car."

"Cristina groped you?" she puzzled, realisation setting in seconds later "oh!" she giggled, "thank you for bringing my friend home, and for making sure she didn't die in the night." She tilted her chin up to kiss his lips, but he turned so she could kiss his cheek instead, scrunching his nose at the lingering stench of tequila and vomit mixed with her usual lavender scent.

"Let's get you some breakfast." He announced, lifting her onto her feet, and keeping a steadying arm around her waist.

"No food." She groaned "coffee…" she staggered towards the stairs, leaning on Derek for support, stumbling as she reached the summit of the stairs before Derek lifted her into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, and placing her arms either side of his head, her head resting on his shoulder like a baby koala.

Meredith stayed wrapped around him as he walked into the kitchen, only to be met by the smell of fresh coffee, and the sight of three tired looking surgeons, each nursing a steaming mug of the liquid. Derek set Meredith down next to Cristina and poured her her own coffee into a mug emblazoned with the Seattle grace logo, kissing the top of her head as he placed the mug against her waiting hand. He heard the sound of the front door, before a grinning Mark Sloan walked in to the kitchen.

"Looks like someone had a good night!" he said emphatically, laughing at the sorrowful looks on each of the surgeons faces. "Ready to go man?" he asks Derek.

"Wait, you're leaving me here?" Meredith questioned Derek, "what if I need you here? What if I need sex?" her question was followed by a chorus of "Meredith!" by Lexie, Alex and Cristina, the three of them starting to sip their coffees, their eyes red against their pale, hung-over faces.

"I won't be gone long." He reassured her as he reached into a drawer for some aspirin, laying them in front of Meredith, who graciously accepted two. Derek filled a glass with water and slid the glass into her hand, watching her swallow the drugs. "I just have one errand to run, and then I'll pick us all up some lunch on the way home. I love you" he added, placing her empty glass into the dishwasher after she swallowed the drugs. Satisfied that he could leave the group for a few hours he gave her a kiss on the lips, her deepening of the kiss making him forget they had company, until Mark brought him back down to earth with the clearing of his throat.

"When you and Grey have finished eating each other, can we leave? That way we can get there and back in time for me to get to work, I have lives to change." Giving Derek the signature mcsteamy smile and opening the door for him to leave.

"I love you" Derek repeated as he walked away.

"I love you too" Meredith echoed groaning as the front door slammed shut and the two men left the drive in marks car.

"Do you guys do this every time?" Lexie asked.

"Every damn time" Izzie answered her, as she and George entered the kitchen, ready to start their shifts at the hospital. "some of us decided that once our intern year was over, that drinking ourselves into oblivion every time an intern drops out or gets fired was just a little immature." she added as she began to intentionally crash around the kitchen whilst she made herself lunch and topped up her travel mug with leftover coffee.

"Oh don't give us the whole 'I'm so mature' crap Iz," Alex growled at her, "you sat with that guy for a full half hour yesterday listening to him cry about lost hopes and dreams, and I bet there's a cubbyhole full of your muffins waiting for him when he goes to collect his stuff later today. You have your traditions, we have ours. Now go to work, your happy is making my head hurt."

"Tequila is making your head hurt, ass" Izzie retorted, as she ushered George out of the door with her.

"Eurgh! You smell like an accident at the tequila factory mer" Cristina jibed, "take a shower or something, god, the rest of us had the common courtesy to wash before we came in!" Meredith groaned as she dragged her chair backwards and shuffled out of the kitchen towards her bathroom, giving Cristina a death stare as she did so. When she heard the sound of water running through the shower, Cristina pulled out a notepad and a pen from her pocket, and began reading off a list to the other two doctors.

"Okay, so Derek has consulted with the chief about the ORs and the patient rooms." she read off , "the waiting area and the nurses station shouldn't be a problem, the ORs are being left free between surgeries, so we have to make sure she's there by then. The trauma room may be a problem, but if we get the ER guys to save that room til last and only use it when it's totally necessary we might be able to find some time in there. The rest of these places are all public spaces so we don't need to worry about keeping them free, I just have to hand out the envelopes on Friday morning and we should be good to go. Shepherd is working out timings, but I don't think she'll need more than ten minutes in one place. Derek has her gifts waiting to be collected, I'll bring them with the envelopes. Then that should be it."

"Why is Shepherd trusting you with this crap?" Alex cut across her, "isn't this more Izzie's scene?"

"Derek didn't think she could keep it a secret for long enough, and he wanted it to be his plan and not Izzie's. Plus he knew that the second Meredith asked me anything about what was going on, I'd cave and tell her, so he picked Cristina instead." Lexie informed him.

"And I was the one she came running to after all this stuff happened, she's gonna need me to freak out to when we walk into Joe's and he's there on one knee asking her to actually make a commitment to someone other than José." The three chuckled at Cristina's words, before realising that the water had been shut off, Cristina hiding her book just in time, as Meredith came wandering into the kitchen, drying her hair on a towel, now dressed in sweats instead of her camisole and shorts combination that Derek had chosen for her the night before.

"Did Derek say where he was going?" she asked her friends, throwing her towel into the laundry bin, "I tried to call him but he's not picking up." She pouted as she re-joined her friends at the table, a second cup of coffee making its way to her lips.

"Uh, no. why, can't you two be apart for longer than five minutes?" Christina sneered, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, whilst the other two avoided making eye contact with Meredith, instead shifting their eyes between Cristina and various points on the table and walls.

"Well him and Mark have been spending a lot of time together just recently, and Mark hardly speaks to me anymore except for in surgery. I feel like they're hiding something from me." She looked desperately at her person, tears springing to the surface of her still red rimmed eyes. "Do you think he's seeing someone else? Is he leaving me for someone who doesn't try to drown themself? Or someone who wants all the things he wants right now?"

"Meredith," Alex says gently, "you know what I see when I spot Shepherd looking at you at the nurses' station or in the OR, or at the breakfast table on the weekends?" Meredith sniffles and looks up at him, her green eyes glassy in the mid-morning light. "I don't see the married neurosurgeon who boned the slutty intern."

"Alex!" Lexie scolds as Meredith's face begins to contort, causing more tears to slink down her face.

"I don't see that mer, I don't see a guy who's just boning a girl and getting ready to move on when something better comes along. No, I see a guy who is so hopelessly, mortifyingly in love with a woman that he would build her a house in the middle of the freaking forest, so they can fill it with little mcdreamys. I see a guy who has to fight every second of every day to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her until they both pass out from lack of oxygen." Meredith's tears begin to subside as she looks up at Alex, letting him take her in his arms, her head resting on her chest.

"Go on," she tells him.

"I see a guy so in awe of just how amazing you are and how goddam lucky he is that he got you to love him back. A guy who is so proud of what you've learned over the last two years that he wants to scream it from the rooftops. A guy like that isn't about to bail on you just cause you had stuff to deal with, he wants to be by your side dealing with it together. He loves you Mer, nothing you can do is gonna change that. Not your crappy genes, or your crappy childhood or your crappy cooking skills. He's just taking some guy time with Mark, there's no need to dwell on it. Sometimes he just has to get back into the real world so he can convince himself that his girlfriend really is as perfect as he thinks she is." He added hoping his words would elicit a laugh from her. She smiled up at him, pulling herself out of his arms slightly.

"Thank you Alex. I needed that." she whispered, patting his elbows with her palms, resting her head on his chest for a moment, the way she would a brother. "So what are we doing today?" she asked the group.

"George said he left a game of Pictionary in the hall closet, we could do that." Lexie suggested, provoking groans from both Alex and Meredith.

"What, afraid you might lose or something?" Christina asked them both. "Come on Lexie, you and me against these two slackers. Let's bring it!"

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**A/N- I wanted Derek to be semi-husbandly in this, because he has grown up a lot, and he's ready for that role, and I wanted Meredith to start to get a little curious about Derek's secret and to confide in her friends, which hasn't really happened much yet. I know some of you are anxious for the proposal, but there are a few things the pair of them need to do first. I may post another chapter or two before the middle of next week to try and move towards the thing we're all waiting for!**


	23. Picking up the ring

**A/N-So, this isn't quite midweek, but life got in the way of my plan to update on Tuesday or Wednesday! It's a bit of Mark/Derek banter really, because they were at their best when they were like that on the show. I'll try and get my usual update tomorrow, ready for the proposal in a couple chapters. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Grey's Anatomy but I am super excited for the season premiere in a week. I'm stuck in England and don't get to watch it until the following day once my lecture is over but the sneaks alone have got me on the edge of my seat!**

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The day had arrived, Derek was going to see the ring. He'd tried to hide his excitement from Meredith, which was far easier when she was hung-over and not quite functioning just yet, so when the pair left the house, he practically jumped into Mark's 4x4, eager to get a look at the jeweller's handiwork for himself. Mark looked at his best friend's animated face and decided to steer the questions away from Derek's look of needing to pee with excitement, and talk about his call to the contractor instead.

"So," Mark probed as the pair set off for downtown Seattle. "Meredith finally finished designing the dirty mistresses club headquarters, huh? Lots of spare rooms for my adoring fan club to lay naked waiting for me, right?" Derek scoffed and put his head in hands dramatically.

"Meredith finished editing our house," he emphasised, "And we both decided that six rooms upstairs would be ideal if we ever had the family over to stay, and a huge upstairs means that our living area is enormous, so we have an excuse to build a big deck, and have the whole back yard available for eating out or having parties and stuff, but there's also enough room that we can have absolutely massive audiences to watch the game. There will be no dirty mistresses club. I'm not married, and we're in a committed relationship. It'll be more like a place to entertain guests, eat food, watch sports and movies. You know Sloan, eventually we had to grow up, and the sooner we move out there, the sooner I can stop feeling like I live in a brothel." Mark mirrored Derek's grin and nodded his head, clearly impressed by Derek's plans.

"So your bedroom is like what, a porny little love nest, lots of drawers for a lot of fun stuff?" He wiggled his eyebrows, causing Derek to frown at him in disgust.

"No, it's just a simple room with a nice big closet so she can fill it with navy converse. Meredith wanted ensuite, so we have the world's largest bathtub planned. She wanted deep, I wanted enough room to share, and then the other side of the room we have a shower that I swear two couples could shower in and have no idea the other is there." He sighed at the enormous grin that had taken over Mark's face, knowing immediately that he had put the wrong image inside his friends head.

"Nice, so you can share the fun. It's like a classy brothel." Mark laughed and Derek punched him playfully in the ribs, the way he had done since he was a kid.

"No, so we can both get in and shower, saving time before work and much water, we're all about caring for the planet. We have two sinks as well, I figured Mer would want her own little space to get ready in the morning." Derek tried to make his and Meredith's future family friendly home seem rather less like the whorehouse of Mark's dreams.

"And all your hair products wouldn't fit in a cupboard on their own..." Mark jibed, knowing that Derek had always been sensitive about his hair.

"Oh whatever, she likes the hair, then the products stay." Derek knew that his image would be rather different if he didn't make the effort to have his hair looking perfect. He'd been the band geek in high school, but out here in the real world he was the popular guy, so he made a real effort to make his image reflect that.

"Yeah, I don't think she'd feel quite the same way about you if you still had the afro." Mark joked, having bear witness to Derek's many failings with women before he figured out hair products.

"Thanks Mark, that really fills me with hope, anyway, she wants a big bed, she says that she always wanted to be one of those families that do the crossword in bed on Sundays when she was a kid, so she wanted to make sure that her own kids had that. I didn't want to argue, the family thing is hard for her to talk about, I want her to have everything she wants, needs or even just dreamed about. I'm not sure how I feel about our kids sharing the bed I make love to her in, but I guess it'll make us both more creative. It does mean when she decides to sleep sideways across the bed there's less of a chance that one of us will fall out which is always a bonus." He laughed.

"Kids? Grey wants kids now?" Mark looked at his friend, wide eyed, almost in disbelief. Meredith made fleeting suggestions about children, but he had assumed it was Derek's idea, and she was thinking it over. But it seemed that the Meredith Mark had hit on back when he had first visited Seattle had transformed into a creature that was actually willing to have a family.

"We spoke about it, she wants two, I'm open to a few more. Mom brought up the six of us so I figured we could maybe deal with four or five maybe." He let Mark in on the secret that he hadn't really told anyone before.

"Good luck convincing any woman to go through it all that many times! I can't even picture Grey going through it once let alone four or five times. And I'd've thought you of all people would want her vagina in tip top shape, instead of stretched out by the heads of your half dozen children."

"Okay, that's enough of a visual Mark, I get it. I guess we'll see what happens, it's years away yet, let me propose first before you have us with a football team of kids emerging from my girlfriend's perfect and very accommodating vagina."

"So house?" Mark said steering the conversation away from the slightly uncomfortable territory he'd found himself in.

"Yeah, the guestroom has a half bath, enough to sort yourself out at night, but no shower or tub. We figured a big bathroom upstairs would suffice. Just a regular tub and shower, a couple sinks, so if the two imaginary kids are girls, they can share."

"Like Nancy pants and Kate, oh yeah. Good luck with that one in twenty years or so."

"Well, we'll see what happens, maybe we'll have Shepherd boys."

"One boy, out of 8 Greys and Shepherds, you really think you'll have boys?"

"Well, one can hope, my sisters have boys, it could happen. Anyway downstairs..." Derek reeled of the details of the downstairs living space, Mark making comments to throw him off or make him laugh. Soon enough they were across the water and parking up a few blocks from the store. Derek felt his heart began to race as they got closer and closer to the moment where they'd see the ring, his happy ending being made real before his eyes.

"And you're sure they said they could do it just like the picture? You're sure?" Derek prods Mark as they walk towards the jewellery store after their short drive.

"How many times Derek?" mark retorts exasperated, "you gave me the picture, you gave me the ring, I went to the store that you requested, I spoke to the guy you wanted me to, who assured me that not only could he make the ring look like the picture, but he could also add the extra diamonds and make it all look like it wasn't done by a neurosurgeon who draws like a four year old! God, you used to be a man about this stuff!"

"Meredith's special." Derek answered. "She's different from Addison." He sighed at Mark when he sniggered at Derek's revelation. "She makes me feel like, like I'm alive again. Like I've been in the dark for my whole life, just sort of stumbling through, going through the motions. Acting on what little I can see ahead of me. Then I met Meredith and now there's just this pure and amazing light, and I'm just seeing everything like it's for the first time. I'm seeing the bigger picture, I'm making plans for the next few decades instead of the next few days. She's the light Mark, she's my hope. She is everything I ever wanted and so much more. And she loves me back, every bit as much. It's like she's a part of me now. And she's made me feel all…"

"Bright and shiny." Mark finished for him as Derek nodded, wiping his eyes before the tears escaped. "You don't have to justify this thing you two have. I see it every time I look at the two of you, that was never there with Addison. Sure she was taller, hotter in a more obvious way, but Grey has the whole package. Beauty, brains, and she seems totally immune to my charm. She's perfect for you, man. Here we are." He said pointing to the door of brightly lit store emblazoned with diamonds of every shape and size and leading the way in.

"Mark!" an older gentleman exclaimed as the pair walked in, extending his hand as Mark did, and pulling him in for a hug. Derek looked on, taking in the display of rings and jewellery that the man in front of him had created. He was impressed to say the least, his mother was right about him being an artist. From the simplest one diamond engagement ring right up to multi stoned platinum necklaces, each one was meticulously designed, and no two were completely the same. Meredith's ring would be one of a kind, just like her, and that made his heart swell.

"And you must be Derek, here to collect the ring for your Meredith?" The old man looked at him as if he were trying to measure up the man who sent his best friend to order his engagement ring. As though by looking at Derek, he could measure up how good of a marriage he'd have.

"That'd be me." He grinned at the old man, extending his hand for a handshake and feeling himself too being drawn in for a hug.

"I'll go get it." Said the man, "It takes pride of place in my store room." Derek took several deep breaths as he waited for the clerk to return with the ring he intended to give Meredith in just a few days' time. He knew that it probably didn't matter to Meredith what the ring looked like or how many carats each of the diamonds was, but she'd been thinking about something when she drew the picture, it had meant something to her, and that meant something to him. He wanted her to have one perfect thing in her life. He couldn't promise her a perfect career or a perfect marriage or even the perfect family, but he could give her the perfect ring, and he could give her his heart, and his word that no matter what, he would never leave her side.

"Chill dude, the man's an artist." Mark reassured him, breathing a sigh of relief as the man returned with a blue velvet box, handing the box to Derek without a word. Derek braced himself, and took another cleansing breath as he opened the lid, his face breaking into a huge smile as he saw his ring for the very first time.

"I must say this ring was a challenge." The jeweller informed him. "The artist, who drew your picture, their talent needs work. But Mark here showed me a picture of the two of you, told me about you both, and I think I was able to capture that in the ring. It's an imperfect cut, as the picture showed, I think maybe that's symbolic of the pair of you. Whoever sketched this though, obviously loves their partner very much. It's hard to see with an untrained eye, but after a few years in this business you get a feel for these things. You'll be wanting this back no doubt." He said handing the original picture to Derek who graciously accepted it. He stared at the words written almost illegibly on the inside of Meredith's sketch, he'd not paid much attention to it before, thinking that maybe it was a hallmark, a jumble of symbols that didn't really say anything. Yet when he squinted at it, he could just make out the words 'this is forever'. He picked up the ring from its tiny stand and looked to the inside of the band. There in tiny letters were the three words that Meredith had written weeks ago, lost until that very minute.

"I did the engraving like the drawing, it's okay, yes?" The jeweller said, looking slightly concerned that such a thing hadn't been planned for.

"It's perfect." He choked out. "She'll love it!" he exclaimed, as he fought the tears that were forming in his eyes. "What you've done it's... I never could've imagined... Thank you."

"She's a lucky lady." Handing Derek several tissues along with the bill for the adjustments on his mother's engagement ring. "And clearly she means a great deal to you. I don't see many guys coming in here with such a passion for making their woman happy. But you Dr. Shepherd, you're rather different. I spoke to you briefly but you have both pain and joy in your voice when you speak of her, and that's a rare thing. There's only one place it can come from. So keep a hold of her, and remind her just how lucky she is to have such a wonderful man in her life."

"Oh, I'm the lucky one." He answered back handing over his credit card, placing the ring box into his breast pocket after giving mark a glimpse at the jeweller's handiwork. "She's my world, my entire world." The man smiled knowingly as he handed back Derek's card after making the transaction, and the two men walked towards the door.

"Good luck Dr. Shepherd, and congratulations!" the old man waved at the pair before they exited the shop, "I'm sure I'll see you soon."

As they began the walk back to Mark's car, mark clapped his hand on his friend's back,

"You did good man." He praised. "I know mom said the guy was an artist but he did a damn fine job on that ring, I can't wait to see Meredith's face when you get down on one knee. It's perfect Derek, dad'd be proud." The two walked the rest of the way in silence, Mark appreciating the need for quiet his friend had as his impending engagement began to fall into place for him, only needing a yes from Meredith to complete it all. As they headed back towards the hospital mark finally broke the silence. "You want a ride home? I don't know how much I trust you to find your way home with your head in a totally different place to your body." He chuckled at his own joke until he realised Derek hadn't heard a word. "Shepherd!" he called, snapping Derek out of his daydream.

"Oh no, I have to pick up Meredith's car, so I'll just jump out at Joe's." He mumbled, trying to decipher what Mark had said when he was barely listening. He went back to looking aimlessly out of his window again. He couldn't believe how smoothly everything had gone so far, he and Meredith rarely did smoothly, it was the bumps in the road that pushed them forwards, towards bigger and better things. It was almost too much plain sailing for his liking, and seeds of doubt began to cloud his mind.

"What is it?" Mark asked, "You can talk to me." Derek sighed.

"What if she says no?" He splurged out almost by accident. "What if she says she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with me? And then…"

"Derek." Mark interrupts. "Not even the queen of darkness herself is going to be able to resist this proposal. You've been planning it for weeks; you went and got your mom's ring. You never did that for Addie. You got her that awful ring that you found in the antique store, and spun her that line about it coming all the way from some royal family in that country no one had heard of. Meredith is the one, and she feels the exact same way you do. You're worrying for nothing man. Did she run when you showed her the blueprints to your house? No, she stayed and she came up with that porny bathtub thing. Even when you told her you wanted four extra bedrooms, 'just in case? No, she got that look in her eye when she's imagining how perfect it'll be. It'll be perfect Derek, you'll see."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Derek said as the car pulled to a stop outside the Emerald City bar opposite the hospital. "Thanks, man it was good having you there. I just love her so much and I guess I'm just waiting for it all to turn to crap. She's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know that if I ever lose her then..." Derek squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall. "I need her Mark, I can't breathe without her, she's it. This is it."

"I know, Derek. But she's not going anywhere, she talks about having your babies all the time, she's grown up for you, she is ready for you because of you. You're made for each other. You spent your whole lives looking for each other, and the world has stopped because you found each other. That's true love Derek, that's real."

"Thanks Mark, I never pegged you as the voice of reason, but you're right. Thanks for the ride, I'll check in later." Derek shut the door and smiled at his friend.

"No problem," Mark said rolling down the window "and Derek, I'm always right, I'm a freaking god!" he called before driving away. Derek extended his arm into the air and chuckled as he walked towards the bar's entrance.

Derek walked into the bar, peeking his head through the door to see if Joe was around. Spotting him behind the bar, he hopped onto a stool.

"Hey Joe!" he greeted as the bartender looked up and walked over to him. Smiling at the doctor, who given the time of day was his only customer.

"Can I get you something to drink Derek?" he asked smiling as his eyes rested on the ring box in Derek's pocket.

"No thanks, I'll just take Meredith's, or should that be lady Tallulah's keys."

"Is that sticking?" Joe laughed as he handed Derek the keys to Meredith's 4x4 which was still parked alone at the front of the bar.

"I think she forgot everything way before that point." He chuckled back "which reminds me, I don't want her to drink too much on Friday, so after the first few, could you slip her a few virgin cocktails, I want her to remember very second of that day, and I hope that she'll want to as well."

"Sure dr. S." Joe assured him. "And just so you know, I'm reserving the bar for your private function, so you can pick exactly who you want there. My treat to the pair of you. It can get a little hairy on a Friday, and I don't want that to ruin all that you've worked for."

"Thanks Joe, you didn't have to do that, I really appreciate it though, and I'm sure her ladyship will too when she finds out. Speaking of whom, I'd better get back to her, the four of them were braving coffee when I left, I imagine they'll be slightly less nauseous by the time I get home. I said I'd bring lunch, so I'd go before I have to suffer another of Meredith's kitchen nightmares or pizza with some weird topping that she's found in the menu's small print!" Derek told Joe waving Meredith keys.

"Sure thing doc." Joe smiled, "and Shepherd, if I don't see you before, then good luck on Friday."

"Thanks Joe." Derek replied "I'm gonna need it."

He got into Meredith's beaten up old car and breathed in the scent that lingered anywhere that she spent any length of time. He adjusted the mirrors and caught sight of himself, looking daunted and afraid instead of happy and excited to be spending the rest of his life with the woman he loved. Deep down he knew they were ready, and this was just last minute nerves, his father always said that if you're nervous it means you have something to lose, something worth fighting for, and if nothing else, the proposal should prove to her that no matter what had happened and what may happen in the future, he had never stopped fighting for her, and he never wanted to.

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**A/N-The proposal is coming, I promise, I'm just trying to fit in a few little things to get to know each other a tiny bit more.**


	24. Lazy afternoon

**A/N- serious apologies for not posting sooner, I went back to university this week, and hadn't packed anything until the day before I left, and getting back into a routine has been a nightmare! I kind of loathe this chapter a little bit, but I felt like it was sort of important to include it so I did. As ever thanks so much for the reviews and alerts they make me very happy! And Happy Grey's Day! It's almost 9pm here in England, and the premiere airs at around 3am, so I get to watch tomorrow instead! Enough ramble, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- Definitely don't own it!**

As Derek walked into the house, he could hear laughter coming from the living room, meaning the four surgeons were all still here, though clearly much more sober than this morning, after taking off his jacket and hanging it on the bannister he stood in the doorway until Meredith spotted him and rushed over to him wrapping her arms around his chest and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I missed you." She said, "Promise me you won't ditch me for Mark again anytime soon."

"I promise." He stated "you're much sexier than he is. I'd much rather be here with you, you're way better in bed." He grinned and held her in his arms for a few more minutes, breathing in her scent whilst gesturing to her friends about the location of the ring. As each made their excuse to leave the room and take a peek, Derek pulled Meredith into the kitchen, sat her down at the counter and began to pull out ingredients for lunch putting a pan on to boil as she watched him with tired eyes.

"I thought you were bringing me lunch home?" she teased getting up to stand beside him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder whilst he stirred the pasta adding each ingredient and leaving it to simmer.

"I thought me cooking for you was more romantic." He said turning in her arms and pressing a kiss to her lips, before he spotted the three surgeons in the doorway. "I'll be right back." He said as he followed them to where his coat was hanging. Kissing her again before he did so. He briskly re-entered the living room, to gauge her friends' reactions. "So?" he asked.

"It's perfect!" Lexie exclaimed, trying to quieten her so that Meredith wouldn't hear her.

"Nice job man." Alex added giving him a pat on the back.

"Yeah, she'll love it." Cristina agreed, a hint of a smile reaching her lips. "Lady Tallulah herself would be proud!"

"You remember that?" Derek laughed.

"Yeah, but she doesn't, so let me mess with her a little more before you tell her." Christina asked as she gathered her things ready to leave "and shepherd?" she called him.

"Yeah?"

"she already thinks something is going on, upset her and I will personally see to it that your perfect hair is shaved, and buried in a box with the testicles that I will rip off with my bare, cardio goddess hands. We threw her off but you need to make this right with her or there will be no Friday to worry about!"

"Got it," he nodded as he walked back to the kitchen, pressing a kiss to Meredith's spaghetti covered lips. She moaned against his lips as he settled back into his chair and began serving up lunch.

"You're happy." She observed.

"why wouldn't I be, when I get to spend the whole afternoon making love to the most wonderful woman in the world and build a house with her for our five chatty children with perfect hair and their mother's wonderful bone structure."

"Two. " She replied, "But only if you give birth to them." They kissed again, rubbing their noses together as they broke apart. The sound of Cristina clearing her throat made them both turn around.

"My cab is here." Cristina informed them, "I'm heading to Joe's to grab my car then heading back to my place."

"We could've driven you." Derek offered, but Cristina shook her head

"I put you and Tallulah out enough last night." She told him, "Go do the nasty nasty without me here to hear you. I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Er, we're gonna share that ride," Lexie told them closely followed by Alex.

"Yeah, I have to settle the tabs from last night" he said "we'll see you later."

"I'll call you with those details later Cristina," Derek said quietly earning him a thumbs up as the three left and Meredith and Derek finished their spaghetti before Meredith stood up from her chair and cleared the table, before laying herself down on it, her legs either side of Derek's chair.

"What are you doing?" he asked, rising up to kiss her neck.

"Empty house" she winked in response. "This is good yes?"

"No." Derek replied laughing as he saw her face fall. "This is perfect."

The pair lounged in the living room for the rest of the afternoon, Meredith was on ortho that week, and she was assisting Callie in a knee replacement surgery, so she had hit the books studying up on the procedure so she could be prepared for anything she was asked. Derek was trying to formulate a plan of action for his patient with a spinal tumour, whose most recent scans had shown rapid growth of the mass, so he'd decided to schedule the surgery for midweek. Meredith looked up from her textbook and at Derek.

"So what did Cristina want from you?" she asked, trying to make herself sound relaxed, and not slightly confused at why her best friend was talking to her boyfriend whom she openly mocked at every opportunity.

"She wanted the contact details of a few cardiothoracic surgeons back in New York," he bluffed, staring intently at his laptop in the hope she would drop the subject.

"That's odd, I thought she knew everybody in that area, some of them she knows particularly well. I'd've thought she'd've mentioned something. I guess it just slipped her mind." Alarm bells were ringing in Meredith's head, she knew when Derek was lying, and right now there was no doubt about it. Cristina had been a little off just recently, but they were all stressed about one thing or another. Izzie, Alex and George hardly ever seemed to be around just lately, busying themselves with interns and surgeries. They weren't avoiding her surely? She shrugged off the thought that they were hiding from her and went back to her notes on knee replacements.

"Did you have fun with Mark, I thought he might've stayed for longer." She hoped he'd let something slip, so she could call him on it, she hated it when he kept things from her, especially so when she knew that her friends were probably in on it too.

"He wanted to drop into a dealership, he's thinking about a new car and just wanted my opinion on a few models, he wanted to spend a little longer, but he had a shift starting so he dropped me off at Joe's so I could grab the Jeep. Did you have a good morning?"

"I thought Mark just got a new car?" She said surprised, the alarm bells getting louder and louder in her head. "We had fun, though I think something's going on that they don't want to tell me, everyone's acting kind of weird, I can't really put my finger on it. It's like they know something but can't say anything in front of me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, I mean have you noticed anything?" She was watching his body language for any sign of something not being quite right, a tick like her playing with her ears so that she could be certain he was lying to her.

"I don't think so, no one's said anything to me, perhaps you're just tired, and you've been pretty stressed over the last few weeks. You haven't had a day off where you could just relax, you had the time off when mom was here but you haven't had a chance to relax. You get a little bit low when you're tired." He was trying desperately to keep her on his good side she could tell, but a dig at her being tired wasn't Derek's style. There was something he was hiding. But without proof she could hardly call him on it. She put it to the back of her mind. She'd try and get some more sleep this week and if everyone was still weird, then she'd say something, right now she just wanted to curl up in a ball and not wake up until she'd forgotten about it.

"Yeah, you're right, probably shouldn't have spent last night in the bar. I'm exhausted now. I want to be sleeping not studying. Would you judge me if I had a nap?"

"Of course I wouldn't," he said in a tone of voice that turned her legs to jelly. "I'm only really researching now. Why don't I lay with you until you fall asleep, and then I'll make you dinner when I'm done all ready for when you wake up?"

"I think you're the best boyfriend ever." She smiled planting a kiss on his lips before shutting her book and taking his hand and guiding him up the stairs.

Meredith woke up hours later, the smell of food waking her up from her slumber. She shoved her feet into her ugg slippers and padded down the stairs wrapping her arms around Derek as he stirred the sauce on the stove.

"What are you making me?"

"Chicken and vegetables, lots of Iron, lots of protein to keep your strength up."

"You made the sauce yourself?" Meredith raised an eyebrow, impressed by his skill in the kitchen.

"Yep, old Shepherd recipe, may have forgotten what I was doing halfway through but I called Kathleen and she saved the day." Meredith giggled and lifted the spoon from the pan, putting it in her mouth so she could try the sauce.

"God this is good, is this what you ate as a kid? I didn't know you could get fresh vegetables until I was ten, none of the nannies were particularly gifted, and boarding school food is beyond crap."

"Boarding school? Like straw boaters and lacrosse?"

"Yeah, only for a few years though, I was nine when she shipped me off, I came back just before high school, apparently my attitude didn't go down so well with the high school there. I passed the exam but I was excluded a few times, after run ins with the drama and dance teacher. The first time they let it go, because I was actually pretty good at lacrosse, I was in the polo team too, and I did track and I actually aced my dance exams much to my teacher's disgust. The second time though, it was too obvious to ignore. I think it was the rewriting the lines to Romeo and Juliet that gave it away. Juliet is supposed to be ravished with grief, rather than telling Romeo he was a moron and walking off the stage." Derek tried to stifle a laugh when she mentioned her rebellious side.

"And I thought you were a good girl." He joked.

"Who told you that, I was the rebel with pink hair, I tried the whole nose ring thing too, but I chickened out before the needle even got close." she looked at the startled expression on Derek's face. "What like you didn't have a fake ID, or go and almost get an illegal tattoo from some guy's older brother."

"No, I was the band geek with the afro and acne, who probably would have stayed inside on his own for the entirety of high school if it weren't for Mark. He did the jock thing. I was president of the science club," Meredith smirked at him. "And the mathletes." Meredith laughed out loud.

"I got extra credit performing dissections. Frogs got boring, so I used to see what came in at the docks. I had a thing going with one of the guys there. I let him touch my boobs and he gave me hearts and livers and lungs and stuff." Derek stood open mouthed.

"Meredith Grey, you really let him touch your boobs for old animal parts?"

"Yeah, you think that's bad, don't ever ask about Europe. And anyway, you're the only one I'd let near my boobs now." She kissed him, giggling at the slightly scared expression on his face. "This is what happens when you're not parented. I waited until sophomore year of high school before I gave up the V card, don't worry."

"Yeah, I was 22," He mumbled, "So, dinner."

"22? You bloomed a little late huh?" She joked.

"I was waiting for the right person, and I had yet to figure out hair products, I wasn't exactly hot in high school, you could roll out of bed looking that sexy, this takes time, effort."

"Well I appreciate it. I'm glad you got hot in college, and learnt your way around a woman. I'm particularly appreciative of that." She grinned at him cheekily, and he swooped in, wrapping his arms around her waist and peppering kisses up and down her neck, his stubble giving her Goosebumps.

"Food first, sex later," She breathed, pushing him away so he could take the sauce off the heat.

"Oh now you're grateful I was a geek who spent Friday nights with his mother in high school? Because I learnt to cook, and now I can feed you?"

"That's just one of the many reasons I love you," She giggled, grabbing two plates so that Derek could serve up the chicken breasts and sauce, bringing the vegetables to the table so that Meredith could pick out her own medley. He filled up a water jug and poured them both a glass before placing it on the table. Meredith put foil over the leftovers that would go to Alex and Izzie when they got home before pulling cutlery from the drawer and passing Derek a set. She served herself up a portion of vegetables, making sure to avoid the green beans Derek had thrown into the mix. She didn't like the peas he'd added, but she could tolerate those, but green beans were something else altogether. He watched her fascinated as she checked each vegetable she picked out, discarding the slightly imperfect ones in favour of the greenest broccoli and the straightest carrots before adding them to her little pile. It was a wonder she ate anything at all being that fussy. She saw him looking and raised her eyebrow, and he looked back down at his own plate before changing the subject.

"So Europe?" Derek asked, making Meredith choke on a mouthful of broccoli.

"I thought you weren't asking about that?"

"I'm curious."

"Okay, I can't believe I'm telling you this, and it goes no further, okay? so Amsterdam, we couldn't find a place to stay, so we headed into this little bar, hoping someone would take pity on us and let us stay the night before we caught the plane, only it wasn't quite a normal bar, needless to say we got drunk, and convinced this one guy to let us sleep in his back yard. We ended up sleeping in a shed with several thousand dollars' worth of cannabis plants, and we woke up to police sirens, and had to scale a six foot fence and run down some little back alley with all our gear on. I think that was the worst one. There were a few times where we woke up with some very questionable people in our beds, but Sadie and I have no idea about a lot of them. My pictures seem to say that Europe is pretty, but I really couldn't tell you much about it. I'm still not totally sure how we made it home alive. Sadie's dad called it off in the end when he had to bail us out of jail. That's actually a good story..." Meredith went on about her travels, and Derek hung on her every word, he liked getting to know her, even if she was far more daring than he ever gave her credit for. He'd rarely known Meredith to share, so there was no way he was going to stop her now she'd started.

Meredith felt almost refreshed after telling Derek about her dark side, including a tale about her alter ego from the night before, trying desperately to figure out why he was laughing at her before she'd even told him. She hit him with her tiny ineffectual fists until he told her about his own brush with Lady Tallulah. She cringed in embarrassment as the foggy parts of the night began to make a little more sense. She hid her face in her hands, wishing she could go back and say no more tequila after the seventh or eighth shot. He kissed her passionately promising that he loved Lady Tallulah almost as much as he loved regular Meredith, leading her to the couch, resting her back on the arm, her legs draped over his. She turned herself round and snuggled in his arms, not moving for the rest of the night, catching The Breakfast Club on the cable, Izzie joining them when she got in. Meredith was content in that moment, it didn't feel as weird as it had done earlier in the day, for which she was grateful. Maybe she was just tired, pre-pms-ing no doubt. When Derek finally got her to go to bed, she slept peacefully, and woke up ready for whatever the day would throw at her.

**A/N- I'll try update again soon, I may need it once the premiere is over!**


	25. Getting close

**A/N- two in two days, I'm impressed, but having just watched the premiere, I wanted some more Grey's to feed my addiction, and I really want to get to my proposal, all ten thousand words of it, so I'm posting now, and if I have time over the weekend, I'll post the final pre-proposal chapter. This is a little angsty, but I just think Derek would be like a child in the last few days and this is the consequence of that!**

As the week wore on, Derek began spending more time at the hospital finalising his plans for Friday's proposal. He made sure that every doctor, every nurse, every member of staff knew that Meredith had no idea of his plan, and that they were to keep their mouths shut or suffer not only his wrath but that of the chief, Cristina and Dr. Bailey. Those that were actively involved in each stage of the proposal were lectured time after time about ensuring they were in the right place at exactly the right time. They each had signals for if Meredith was early or late to any given part, and he was going to monitor the whole thing from his office. Normally, they'd be angry at Derek and his incessant bossiness, but they knew that deep down this was for Meredith, that he just wanted everything to be perfect for her. After the tough couple of years Meredith had faced, they felt she needed a little bit of happiness, and Derek was the one to give her that. He'd spent long hours on the phone at work and at home in his office meticulously planning and checking every little detail, everything was ready, he simply had to wait out the final 24 hours. Mark had been particularly helpful in stopping him blurting his plan before the day, pulling him into consults and out to Joe's until late, and often Meredith was asleep when he got home. He missed snuggling up with Meredith, and driving home together, the small things, dinner and showering together, watching her strip ready for bed, but he knew in just a few days, it'd all be worth it. He was ecstatic with excitement, and as the days went by the hospital gained more of an heir of excitement too. And Meredith was still none the wiser.

Meredith had picked up on some things though. The number of late night phone calls he took in his office set all kinds of alarm bells ringing in her head. Colleagues looked at her in the corridors, whispering as she walked past. People she barely knew started talking to her as if they were her best friends, and Derek had hardly been back to the house until late since the weekend. Meredith tried not to read too much into it, she tried to trust that there was nothing going on. Yet there was a voice in her haid reminding her that the last time he was getting phone calls at all times of the night was right before Addison showed up. He'd promised her that nothing like that would ever come up again, and then he'd told her he couldn't wait forever for her. He seemed so happy, unusually so, and there was no denying that something was going on, she wanted to believe it was harmless, but even Cristina had been acting strange. Meredith often found her with Alex and Lexie, chatting non-stop and then killing the conversation the minute she walked over to them. By Thursday, Meredith was tired of the strange behaviour and secret conversations, so when she saw Derek in the corridor, having not seen him yet that morning as he'd left before she woke up, she finally took action.

"Derek, we need to talk." She told him "and I need you to tell me the truth." Pulling him into the on call room so they could have a little privacy.

"Are you okay Mer, you seem a little off." He smiled, leaning over to kiss her. She put her finger on his lips and came out with it.

"Are you cheating on me, Derek?" she knew it was tactless, but she had to know.

"What?" said Derek taken aback "of course not." He looked at her confused wondering where she'd gotten such an idea.

"Then what? You don't want to live together anymore? Or you just don't want to be together anymore? Cause if that's what it is then you just have to come right out and say it. I…" Derek interrupted her.

"Meredith, I love you, I'm not leaving you, I'm not moving out, it's just been a little busy this week. I know I haven't paid you very much attention these last few days and I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you, tomorrow night, you and me, we'll go someplace nice. I've had a few big consults this week, and it'll all be done with by then. And if you're really lucky, I'll let you have dessert in bed." He kissed her, properly this time, lifting her off her feet, her legs wrapping round his waist. The way he kissed her was nothing short of love, but she couldn't fight the feeling that something wasn't right. No matter how much she wanted to, she wasn't sure she trusted him when he said that nothing was going on. He set her back on her feet, peppering little kisses on her face and neck before setting one more on her lips. She looked into his eyes.

"You promise?" she asked him.

"I promise." He agreed. He left the room with a relieved look upon his face. She hadn't figured it out, but clearly, people weren't being quite subtle enough. He sent a text to the people involved hoping they'd pass on the message. _Meredith getting suspicious, be careful how you talk and act around her. D._ He had barely 24 hours left, he couldn't have her accidentally finding out now. Meredith felt a phone buzz in her pocket. Cristina's. She'd asked her to hang onto it while she was in surgery, she was waiting for a call, and Meredith had promised to answer it if it came. She pulled it out, the message screen flashing. 1 new message. From Derek. Why was Derek texting Cristina? She knew it was wrong but she had to know what was going on with those two. They barely spoke, let alone texted each other. Meredith felt something bad in her gut as she flipped the phone open. _Meredith getting suspicious, be careful how you talk and act around her. D. _Meredith felt her blood boil as tears rose to the surface. She ran out of the room and straight into Cristina. She threw the phone at her and ran towards the bathroom. The tears were coming thick and fast now, but she didn't care. Derek was having an affair with Cristina. There was the proof. If it was possible to feel your heart breaking then this very moment, that's exactly what was happening. Derek saw her running and the tears on her face, instantly worried about what could have caused her such pain. He followed her to the door of the women's bathroom, as she slammed the door in his face, her sobs echoing from inside.

"Meredith!" he called. "Mer, what's wrong?" he hammered on the door as Cristina jogged to his side. He looked at her concerned, hoping she'd know what had gotten his future fiancée so upset. It only took a millisecond for Cristina to realise why her friend had barricaded herself in.

"She saw your message Derek." Cristina told him "she had my phone and she must've seen the message." Derek's face fell as he realised his mistake. The pieces finally clicking together.

"Oh, god" he replied "she asked me earlier if I was having an affair, she probably thinks... Meredith!" he said banging on the door. "I am not having an affair with Cristina. Or anyone else for that matter. I love you, no one else, come out and I can explain."

"Yeah, you think I'd sleep with him? Gross." Cristina grimaced as people began to stare at the scene, whispered conversations bubbling up all over the place as the pair tried to coax Meredith out from her hiding place.

"Real helpful Cristina. Meredith please open the door and I can explain." Meredith could hear them bickering outside, trying to convince her that there was nothing going on. She didn't know what to think. She wanted to believe them, but that message. That message was just too much to be nothing. The tears continued to fall, her heart telling her that it was innocent, that Derek loved her, her head saying run. Her thoughts were interrupted by Bailey's voice coming through the door.

"Meredith grey, open this door right now or I will break the damn thing down myself. I mean it." Meredith reluctantly unlocked the door allowing the three of them inside. She looked at Bailey, the tears still coming thick and fast. "Meredith honey, these two are not having an affair, they're not I promise you. If they were, I'd be kicking their asses so hard that they wouldn't be sitting down for a good long while. No, they wanted to surprise you. You've not had a proper relaxing weekend in a while, and Derek thought it'd be nice to take you away for the weekend. As your best friend, Cristina was there making sure he didn't screw it up. These two fools just can't keep a secret. They both love you very much so when you're ready, you can get out of this bathroom let them apologise and get on with the work that you're paid to do." She began to return to her usual demeanour at the end of her speech, giving Meredith a look that she knew would have her doing as she was told.

"I…" Derek started.

"Not another peep from you." Bailey commanded, walking towards the door muttering "attendings acting like children, residents still are children. Can't solve their own damn problems…"

"Mer I'm sorry." Derek said to her "I didn't want you to find out like this."

"Yeah, we just wanted it to be a surprise." Cristina added, sighing when her pager blared, signalling an incoming trauma. "Look I'll talk to you later Mer, leave you two to smooth things over."

"Thanks Cristina, I'll be back to get those confirmations and things later." He winked at her as she left the pair alone in the bathroom.

"I'm sorry," Meredith began "I'm sorry I accused you of having an affair. With Cristina." They both laughed. "It's just the phone calls and all the late nights, I don't feel like I've seen you for a week, and there's been whispering, and Mark hasn't said a word to me outside of work. My friends were acting strange. It was like we were back there, I was waiting for a teenage daughter or another wife, and then I saw the message and I just. I got scared is all."

"I can safely say that I will never be having an affair with Cristina." He assured her "that's too much crazy for one guy to handle. I've wanted to tell you this entire time about the weekend, but everyone agreed that a surprise would be better, and I just wanted it to be perfect, so I asked your friends, and you know this place, pretty soon everyone knew." He grabbed her hand and squeezed. "I love you, you know that right." Meredith nodded, the faintest of smiles reaching her lips.

"I know, I love you too." She put her arms around his neck, and he pulled her into him, breathing in her scent. He reached up and wiped the tears from her face, taking the tissue from her hand and wiping her nose for her, before kissing it, and the lines on her cheeks made by her tears.

"Come on lets go find some brains to cut open." She smiled and took his hand walking out of the bathroom and past the nurses' station where Bailey was standing. He smiled and nodded at her, and she returned the gesture. He'd have to remember to thank her; she just saved his proposal, and indeed his relationship. It was all systems go now. Operation marry Meredith was actually becoming a reality. He just had to get through the rest of the day without eliciting another meltdown from his bride to be.

Derek was grateful when the chief paged Meredith into an emergency surgery a couple of hours later, it gave her a distraction from his obvious secret, and gave him the chance to talk to Cristina and Bailey on exactly how he was going to get from where they were now to the proposal without giving her anymore reason to stress. He paged them both to his office, knowing that he was well deserving of a telling off from the both of them.

"Go on hit me." He sighed, shaking his head at his own stupidity.

"You're a fool." Miranda scolded, hitting his shoulder with the back of her hand. "I told you not to hurt that girl anymore and you manage to do it anyway. You been at everybody telling them to act normally, and yet you try so hard to stop her suspecting that you love her so darn much that you want to marry her that you make her think that you're sleeping with her best friend." Cristina snickered, and Bailey turned around, raising her eyebrows at the resident, who immediately turned her expression to one of seriousness, waiting for her own scolding. "And you, you're no better. One job you were given, stop her getting suspicious. I can give her procedures, make her run labs, make her my own personal scut monkey, but in between the moments where I am removing her from the real world, you were supposed to distract her from the dozen or so nurses who are watching her every move, trying to get on her good side so that they might get to watch her walk down the aisle. No instead, the pair of you let her lose her dignity, and in all likelihood her self-respect because you're too damn foolish to think that maybe she'd notice if the entire hospital is suddenly trying to be her best friend. I assume you both want this to go well, no?" The pair of them nodded, looking like teenagers in the principal's office. "Then you have got to start treating her like the intelligent adult that she is. Yang, you need to fill her head with anything, this weekend away charade, your own hopeless love life, anything, but you have to do whatever it is you can to get her to the end of her shift. She'll be on my post ops for the next few hours, and I'm sure Richard will find some way to help undo what you did, but when she's charting or taking a minute to think about how you fools made her feel then you need to distract her, take her to the damn nursery if it'll help. Go!" Cristina left running towards the OR board to try and decipher when she'd be out of surgery.

Miranda turned back to Derek, pursing her lips at his sorry expression. "You need to sweeten her up, be waiting when she finishes her shift, get take out and a movie or something, just make her feel special, loved. Don't act all sorry and guilty, you have to remind her that she is your everything, that you're someone that if asked might say yes to a proposal. I can't think why, but she loves you despite how many mistakes you make or plans you forget to keep. She will say yes, you just have to give her a reason. She's your soul mate, and you make her happier than I've ever seen her, so you have to get this bit right. Your proposal is flawless, and it's killing you keeping it that way. Has any part of your relationship ever gone to plan, you two met in a bar when you were both drunk, you had me and the chief on at you for dating an intern. Your wife showed up and she escaped death twice. You've survived seeing her in the arms of another man, and you've seen her dead for hours, you can survive this little misunderstanding, and you can get there tomorrow. Look I'm not your mother, you don't have to listen, but you owe it to yourself to be happy about this. You have what 18 hours before she sets off tomorrow? Relax Shep, the rest is up to her." She smiled knowingly at Derek before leaving him to ponder her words. He knew she was right, there was little he could control now and that scared him, but sometimes, you had to face your fear to reap the rewards of conquering it. He looked at the photo of the pair of them on his desk, her mouth open, clearly laughing, while he wrapped his arms around her waist, a grin on his face. Him and Meredith, that's all that mattered now.

**A/N- Freak out over, it's all good stuff from here. Thank you all for being hugely patient while I force them towards the big event, once that's over with we can move a little quicker and get onto the fun stuff! Derek just needs one more woman to tell him he's doing things right, and then he can actually do them!**


	26. Being sure

**A/N- I know I promised the weekend, but it's here now, the final piece of our pre-proposal puzzle is here. It's far from perfect, but I think it does a good job of getting Derek to the right place, and calming Meredith down a little too. But enough rambling. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer- Grey's isn't mine, I just like to play with the characters!**

Derek had taken Bailey's advice, and whisked Meredith off to a tiny restaurant close to the hospital with a good view of the ferryboats. He knew he could have called in favours at nearly every restaurant in Seattle, but the tiny intimate venue seemed more appropriate that evening, so after a good bottle of wine, and, on Meredith's insistence, something they could share, they snuggled up in front of the outdoor fireplace and watched the ferryboats drift across the moonlit water. Meredith was far more at ease with him than she had been earlier in the day. He could sense her distrust, but she was clearly making an effort to rid herself of those thoughts. She held onto him tightly, like a baby koala, never wanting to let go. He spent much of the evening just looking at her, trying to decipher what it was that she was thinking about. He could only hope that it wasn't about him and how awful a person he had come across as in the last week or two. He never wanted to hurt her, but somehow, it always ended up that way and he hated himself for it. Instead of dwelling on it, he stared out at the water with her imagining what it would be like when she said yes the next day, if she said yes. His heart told him that there was no doubt about it, but his head said that it wasn't a definite thing until she walked through that door at the end of her shift. It was Meredith yawning that prompted him to get the check and drive home, knowing that if he left it much longer, she'd be falling asleep on him, which would result in him having to wake her up, and she'd only resent him for that.

She could barely keep her eyes open by the time they got to her house, and although she was too stubborn to ask, Derek knew that she wanted help getting changed and into bed. He pulled out her favourite autumnal pyjamas, only to be worn 'when the leaves are falling', tiny maple leaf motifs covering the soft material, worn slightly with age, but apparently all the more comfortable. He watched her scoot under the covers trying to get as warm as she possibly could, the night air having given her a slight chill. Quickly he swapped his jeans and shirt for comfy pyjama pants and an old 'The Clash' tour t-shirt, before snuggling in beside her. She nestled her face into his chest, breathing deeply, the way she did when she wanted to be comforted by his smell. He watched as she got closer and closer to sleep, not quite snoring but far from being awake and coherent.

"Thank you Derek," She whispered into his chest. "It was nice tonight." Before adding a soft "I love you." She stifled another tiny yawn, wriggling a little to get comfortable before becoming still, her breathing light, a peaceful look on her face. It was moments like this that Derek loved to watch her, the drama of the day melting away, leaving her happy and sated and, if it were possible, even more beautiful.

"I love you too." He whispered into her hair as her snores began to echo around their quiet bedroom, closing his eyes in an attempt to get some rest before tomorrow, his fears letting him do anything but.

Derek tossed and turned in the bed, he knew he should try and get some sleep, he didn't want to face the day on the two measly hours he'd gotten so far. He went and grabbed a glass of water, then opened the medical journal he'd been reading, but his mind wandered too far to be able to focus on anything but the next day, though the clock on his nightstand informed him that it was actually today at this point. When he'd started planning, he had an image in his head of exactly what the day would be like, how Meredith would react. As they got closer, his fantasy was being realised, but his image of Meredith's reaction changed as time went on, getting more and more negative until now, all he could imagine was her saying no, or not even getting to the finish line. He'd spoken to Mark, the chief, even Bailey but he couldn't shake the feeling that he could lose it all tomorrow. He was perhaps for the first time in a really long while, beyond nervous about what Meredith would say. He tried to shut his eyes, but he was haunted by the nightmare that Meredith would go, leaving him alone again. He glanced at the clock 2.53, his mother would be eating breakfast by now, tidying things ready for her duty as grandmother later in the day. He pulled the phone from Meredith's nightstand and pressed the familiar numbers, listening to the ringing sound until he heard the line connect and his mother reel off their number.

"Hi Mom," Derek whispered into the phone, looking back at Meredith to make sure she was still sleeping before he closed the door and headed out onto the porch swing for a little privacy.

"Oh, hello sweetheart, I was hoping you'd ring, are you all ready for tomorrow? Today? You know what I mean!" Derek could sense the excitement in his mother's voice, it seemed that she too was wrapped up in the proposal, much like everyone at the hospital. The place was buzzing when he'd gone back with Mark to check on a patient and grab Meredith for dinner. His relationship had frequently been the source of gossip at Seattle Grace, and it pleased him that people were chatting positively about the pair of them aside from the jealousy of a few nurses, and the occasional glances at Meredith's abdomen to see if she was pregnant or not, as if that was the only reason he could possibly want to marry her. He wanted to shout from the roof that he was totally in love with Meredith, the gossip train meant he didnt have to.

"I think so," He sighed, "I nearly ruined it earlier today, Meredith, she heard people talking, and I sent a message that fell into the wrong hands. I've been so afraid of blurting it all out that I've hardly been home in the last few days, she picked up on it and honestly, I don't know how she even let me back on the house. It honestly looked like i was having a relationship with her best friend. I hurt her again while I was trying to do something good." He felt the tears fill his eyes, he hated lying to Meredith, hated seeing her upset, and most of all he hated being the one to upset her. "To be honest mom, I'll just be glad when it's over. Part of me thinks I should've just kept it simple, taken her on the ferry and pulled out the ring. This whole thing tomorrow, I mean what if she hates it. What if she gets to the end and says no? I'm just terrified mom, I love her so much..."

"Sweetheart, how long have you been working on this?" Derek could almost hear her rolling her eyes, sitting down ready to give him one of her motherly lectures.

"Er, i don't know, I started seriously thinking about it maybe a month ago, maybe longer, but I've wanted to marry her for like a year, so..." He hadn't really thought about it, it was always a given to him that one day they'd get married, have kids and a dog and a life. He never really thought about when that would start.

"And how many people did you ask before you even set the whole thing rolling?"

"With you, I don't know maybe half a dozen, I had to be sure mom, I can't lose her again, I just..." Carolyn cut him off again before he could make any more defeatist remarks.

"Darling, this whole time, you have been thinking about her, you have been making sure that she will be fine with this. You've spoken to her friends her colleagues and the people she calls her family. You let me meet her, you let Mark meet her. Addison even knew that she didn't hold a candle to her, that's why she made the effort to be friendly. And do you know why you've made the effort for Meredith?" Derek sighed, but the answer was easy, it was the only answer he could give.

"Because I love her, she makes me happy, I need her, and it… just nothing makes sense without her there."

"Exactly, you've spent so much time, so much effort on this because you want the moment to be perfect, you want Meredith to know how much you care for her, how much she means to you. She is aware that you're not perfect, that you make mistakes, and you think with your heart and not your head. How even though you're a neurosurgeon, you rarely actually stop and use that brain of yours. She knows that, yet you still went to so much effort to remind her that she is the most important thing in your life. She will in all likelihood be embarrassed and emotional but she'll play along, she'll do it for you. The girl has been hurt so many times she doesn't find trust easy, I get that, but Derek, she trusts you even though that terrifies her. she knows you're acting in her best interests. You have nothing to worry about. Dad would be beaming if he were here, I'd have to tie him down and stop him coming over there to join you. Sweetheart, as long as you both love each other that's all that matters, she wouldn't mind if you asked her at breakfast tomorrow! Honestly, though I think she'll love what you've done. The way that girl looks at you, I know she'd say yes however you do it. Don't give up on it all when you're so close to the end. You know, it took your dad a full week before he asked me, and when he did, i knew he'd thought about it and about us and it was perfect. Yours will be too. Nerves are normal, nerves mean that you care, and if you care about something so much that it hurts, it means..."

"You have something to lose. You're right, of course you're right. I just... It was never like this with Addison. As long as it was flamboyant and there were loads of people around she didn't care about the rest. Meredith is different, and I think I love her more than I ever did with Addy, if she says no, I feel like I lose so much more than just a girlfriend, if i mess up, i lose my world."

"I know honey, but she loves you, I guarantee she wants this at least as much as you do, she might not know it yet but she'll know when she sees you tomorrow, she will see the effort you made and how much her friends support her and the doubt will go away. Before your father, I didn't know if I wanted a marriage or kids, but when I saw him on one knee, everything just sort of clicked, now I wouldn't be without you, any of you, I'm so proud of everything all of you have done, and I know that I found true love. you have seen love, known love your whole life, this is new for her, she may not know what she wants until its there in front of her. have a little faith Derek."

The door creaks, and a tired looking Meredith plods out, her hair dishevelled, her robe loosely tied around her tiny waist.

"I heard your voice, you weren't in bed." She told him.

"It's mom, I didn't want to wake you." He told her, extending his arm so she could join him on the swing. She curled against him, breathing in the smell of her Derek, the outdoorsy fisherman who wants to live in the woods for the rest of their lives and as much as she hated to admit it, her everything.

"Can I say hi?" she ventures, having yet been brave enough to pick up the phone and talk to Derek's mother despite her insistence that she was welcome to any time.

"Ma, Meredith wants to say hi," Derek said into the phone, smiling slightly at the idea that she wanted to talk to his mother.

"Of course dear, pass her on."

"Hi Mrs. Shepherd, how are you?"

"I'm wonderful dear, and you know you can call me Carolyn, or mom, whichever."

"Sorry, mom." She breathed, it having been too long since she called anyone by that name.

"Oh, don't apologise dear. Has my son been treating you well? He said he'd made an idiot of himself again today." Meredith could sense Derek's mother's frown, and the tone of voice seemed to be well practiced, as though she'd had to use it against her son after his many misdemeanours growing up.

"It was just a misunderstanding, and I'm so tired that I can barely think straight, I jumped to a conclusion, it was just silly." She gestured with her hands, like she did whenever she wasn't entirely comfortable and Derek squeezed her tighter to him pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Oh nonsense, Derek has always been awful at hiding things, even good things. He used to drop hints whenever he'd brought something for mother's day, these huge great hints, and I just had to pretend that it wasn't blindingly obvious or he'd get this look in his eye, like..."

"Like you just ran over his puppy." Meredith interjected, laughing with Carolyn

"Exactly, you know when I was pregnant with him, he had to make it so obvious he was a boy, with the girls, you could see when you moved the scanner, they were all dignified, but Derek, he had his legs wide open, arms out the way so everybody knew he had a penis, he was terrible." Meredith laughed out loud at that, causing Derek to grin widely, the smile fading slightly as he wondered what the women could possibly be talking about.

"He's whisking me off this weekend, but he made it seem like he was doing something terrible, I thought another wife was about to pop up, or he was going to tell me he had a mass grave on his land. I nearly passed out when he said it was just the weekend."

"Oh, what am I going to with him? Listen sweetheart, I've got to be going really, Nancy's going to be dropping the kids off in a few minutes, but it's been lovely hearing from you again. If he does anything else remind him that I'm only a plane ride away, but sweetheart, he does love you, he has a stupid way of showing it sometimes but he does. Bye Meredith, I'll see you soon. Let me know how the weekend goes, I want to see pictures."

"Of course I will. Bye Mom," She passed the phone to Derek.

"Bye mom,"

"Bye sweetheart, and good luck for later, it's going to be fine, ring me over the weekend. I love you."

"Love you too mom, bye." He hung up the phone and pulled Meredith closer.

"The sky's so pretty tonight," Meredith marvelled, looking at his eyes once she pulled away from the star filled night.

"I know, it's unusual for October, it's chilly though, you must be freezing." He rubbed his hand up and down her skinny arms. "C'mon let's get you inside." He kissed her temple as the two walked indoors and towards their bedroom for their very last night as an unbetrothed couple.

Derek watched Meredith drift off facing him, before letting his own eyes slipped shut. The feeling of dread was gone, his mother having assured him that it would be perfect. Meredith grappled for his hand in her sleep, calming when he laced her slim fingers with his own. He rubbed his thumb against the bare skin of her ring finger, knowing that tomorrow night there would be a promise of forever wrapped around it. His mom was right, everything was perfect, he just had to not be afraid to embrace that perfection. Meredith would say yes, and his world would at last be complete.

**A/N- There you go all set for the big day. I've had to split it up, because it is huge, and incredibly cheesy, but it's the reason for the whole fic so I'm sticking with it. I'm desperate to get it up, but uni work must come first, but this weekend is a very real possibility!**


	27. Will

**A/N- at last we have the start of the proposal! This chapter doesn't cover much, but you can see the start of Derek's plan come into fruition. I decided that the whole thing needed to be split up a bit, because it's a lot to read in one go, but I'll try and have it all up fairly soon. I have gone with a really cheesy idea, but hopefully one that has quite a lot of meaning for them as a couple as well. As ever thank you for your reviews and alerts, they make me incredibly happy. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Grey's!**

When the alarm sounded on Friday morning, Derek jumped out of bed, a huge grin on his face. _Todays the day _he thought, watching as Meredith struggled to pull herself out of her slumber. He walked over to her and peppered tiny kisses along her neck and jaw, before settling a kiss on her lips, his tongue snaking between them, making her moan. He pulled away and she opened her eyes, unhappy at the speed of the kiss, her body aching for more.

"Why are you so happy?" she grumbled easing herself up and stretching "it's too early to be that happy."

"I just love waking up next to you." He told her, "and I can't wait to spend our weekend alone together."

"So sex?" she said bluntly "the possibility of getting laid has made you become like a child on Christmas morning?"

"Guaranteed sex." He teased

"Right, just don't wake me when you're doing it then." She shot back slinking off to the bathroom, wiggling a little so that he watches her leave, turning her head and sticking her tongue out as she entered the bathroom. He watched the door even after she closed it, picked up his phone and sent a text: _green light, we'll be there by 7. _

Meredith dozed for much of the ride to the hospital, she was a little worried that the weekend away was covering for something worse; she was still terrified he was going to confess something else, a secret child, another wife and she knew she couldn't cope if she lost him again. Carolyn had eased her mind a little, but still her sleep was interrupted by nightmares where Derek left her in a million different ways, taking their house plans, and their fictitious children and her best friend with him as he goes. He'd promised her he had nothing to hide, and she'd tried desperately to believe him, but part of her just couldn't let go of the niggly feeling that something was going on. She felt Derek's eyes on her as she watched out of the window. He didn't say anything though, simply put a hand on her thigh, his way of reassuring her that everything was alright. She put her hand into his, intertwining their fingers as she turned and looked at him. He looked the same, he looked like the Derek she loved and trusted, but something, something was different, and she was both determined and terrified to find out what it was.

He walked her to the resident's lounge, giving her a quick peck on the lips before heading towards his office. He'd gotten tenser and tenser the closer they got to the nurses station, and not a single member of staff had made eye contact with her. Meredith felt it in her stomach, something big was going to happen today, and she was right in the middle of it.

"I have to run, but I'll see you later, I love you." He told her as he left the lounge, practically running away from her.

"I love you too." She uttered, knowing she was the only one to hear it. She huffed towards her cubby, throwing her bag into the back and pulling out her scrubs, ready to change for the day.

"What's wrong with you?" Cristina frowned "aren't you supposed to be all happy about your sexy weekend away with Mcdreamy?"

"He's still being weird." She told her friend, needing her person's guidance despite her worries from the previous day. "Something's definitely going on with him but he won't say anything. He just gets all giddy about this weekend, I keep thinking he's gonna bring out some teenage daughter or ex-wife and he's just gonna take off." She pouted as she slipped on her lab coat, pinning her ID to the pocket.

"Meredith, I really don't think that'd happen twice. But you know if it does, you could always kill him and bury him in the woods, noone'd ever find him." She joked, invoking a disapproving frown from Meredith. "I'm kidding. Just talk to him this weekend, tell him how you feel, then have loads of hot Mcdreamy sex and it'll all figure itself out. Trust me I'm your person."

"It's not you I don't trust." She murmured as Bailey entered the lounge.

"Karev, you're with Torres, Yang, you're on neuro, Stevens, there's a spot for you in paeds, and O'Malley you're in the pit."

"What about me?" Meredith asked

"You're on a special case today, chief's orders." Bailey informed her. "This is all you need to know." She handed Meredith an envelope with '1' written on the front in a familiar script. "Don't open it here." She instructed leaving the five residents to go to their destinations.

"Trust you to get the special case." Karev taunted "what I wouldn't give to be inbred." Meredith walked out of the lounge, heading towards the nearest on call room. 'Closed for maintenance' the door read. There was a bathroom nearby, so she ducked in locked herself in a stall and opened the envelope. A half sheet of paper fell out. Meredith checked the envelope, there was nothing else inside. She picked up the slip of paper and read the words printed on it:

**Don't try and hide it, everyone knows what you were really up to last time you were on call. It appears that you use the rooms intended for sleeping for rather more than just that. (FYI Your room's not really closed, not for maintenance anyway.)**

Meredith felt her cheeks redden, realising that the message referred to her late night rendezvous with Derek the week before, it was a particularly slow night in the ER, and there were relatively few patients to monitor, so they slipped away to their regular on call room for half an hour. She crept out of the bathroom and sped back to the door of the on call room. She looked around ensuring that no one was watching her before quickly entering the room. Thankfully no one was in there, everyone clearly believing the sign to be real. Most of the doctors would be beginning their shifts by now anyway, so she had no reason to believe she'd be interrupted. She looked around the room for any sign of what she was supposed to be doing that day, seeing only a single sprig of lavender, and another envelope laying on the pillow of the bottom bunk. This time with '2' written on the front. She sat down on the bed sliding her finger under the seal of the envelope and looking at the contents. Another slip of paper was all it contained, yet another cryptic message written on it.

**The tiny scar on your arm is a reminder of a life you saved. Find him and he'll tell you what to do next. (Pull the sign off the door on your way out. You're finished in there for today.)**

She rubbed the tiny raised scar on her arm, she'd cut it on some glass when she'd climbed into the upturned ambulance rig to save the paramedic Ray. She didn't realise he was back at work yet, but in all likelihood if he was back he'd be waiting near the doors to the pit. She put the two envelopes in the pocket of her lab coat and made her way down and surely enough, there he sat in an off duty ambulance, a grin spreading across his face as he saw her coming.

"Good morning dr. grey." he called out to her as she walked over to him, holding the stem of lavender between two fingers.

"Hi, how's the recovery going? Are you back at work already?"

"Things are going well, but I have no intention of returning to Seattle Grace or the EMT lifestyle. I'm thinking about teaching actually, It's a little safer. I was called in especially for today." Meredith smiled up at him expectantly. He grinned back cheekily, following the instructions that Derek had given him earlier that morning. Meredith had to ask him if she wanted her next envelope. And after a moment or two, she opened her mouth.

"Can you tell me what I'm supposed to be doing today?" she asked him, smiling hopefully in case he'd enlighten her.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that." He said, her smile dying down a little bit. "But I can give you this." He said passing her a white rose. "And this." He passed her an envelope. '3'.

"Who gave these to you?" she questioned him. Hoping that a name would give her a clue to who was to blame for her running around the hospital.

"Afraid that's top secret, Dr. Grey. But I am informed that you will find out later today though. I'd be excited if I were you. The day has a very nice reward at the end of all this." Meredith looked at him, puzzled by his words. A reward at the end of the day. She was more than capable of several surgical procedures, perhaps she'd finally get to show off in the OR. She smiled up at Ray, deciding that if she wanted to get to that surgery, she'd better be on her way.

"Thanks Ray," she told him "best get on with my next mission. Good luck with the rest of your recovery." She waved at him as she went to find a place to sit down and open her envelope. Pulling the other two slips from her pocket to see if there was any link. The third slip was printed with:

**You kept her in your locker, dropped her on the floor at least once, but you found her a perfect final resting place. She'd be proud of you, Meredith because you are extraordinary. **

Her breath caught in her throat a little bit as she thought about what the clue implied. The chief had been the one to help her with her mother's ashes, putting her to rest in the OR, the one place she loved the most. She hated to admit it, but Meredith always felt a little more confident in the OR when she'd scrubbed in at the sink she'd washed her mother down. She walked inside, heading to the elevator taking her to the surgical floor. She couldn't imagine why the chief was reminding her of so many random events and making her return to the places they happened. She was a surgeon; she should be cutting people open, not chasing down clues like a child. There was nothing medical about chasing down clues. And she had no intention of becoming a pirate, so the treasure hunt illusion was not at all pleasing to her unless it meant surgery. She entered the scrub room where she'd scattered her mother's ashes, to find Chief Webber there, seemingly waiting for her to arrive. He smiled at her knowingly, just as Ray had done.

"Meredith." He greeted cheerfully. "I see you've already solved three of your clues. Which means I must award you with this." He handed her a purple flower that she didn't know the name of. She added it to her tiny bunch and looked back at Richard.

"Why am I doing this?" she asked him. "Why are you sending me all around the hospital when I should be working, saving lives?"

"Meredith is it true that you accused Derek shepherd of having an affair with Yang yesterday?" she looked at the floor and nodded. "You're not thinking straight, you are exhausted, because you're working too hard. Fatigue leads to impaired judgement, which leads to mistakes which leads to unnecessary deaths and unwanted lawsuits. This is a way of helping you relax, remembering what really matters to you. Get to the end of this and we'll see if your judgement is as it should be." He looked at her sternly, but she'd known him long enough to know that her puppy dog eyes got him every time, when she was little it scored her candy, maybe at 29 years old it would get her back in the OR.

"But I'm a doctor." She reminded him.

"And I am chief, so you have to do as I say." He informed her, immune to the look that had cost him a fortune in red vines when Meredith was small. "Here is your next envelope, number four. You've got a way to go so I suggest you get a move on." he folded his arms across his chest and motioned for her to leave.

"Thank you Dr. Webber." She said to him as she left the scrub room, leaving him grinning at the door. She sat down in the waiting area and opened the fourth envelope, deciding that if she wasn't going to see the inside of an OR today, she should at least be grateful she wasn't stuck with the interns or in the clinic. The slip of paper was much the same as the others:

**A neurosurgeon publicly declared that he wanted a lifetime with you, rather than just one weekend. Go to that place, remember what he said, and remember how far you've already come.**

She looked across the way from where she was sitting. There it was in front of the elevator. A white envelope and a chrysanthemum ready and waiting for her. The scene played through her head again. _"I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old, in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime. Mm. Do you see what happens? I say things like that and you fight the urge to run in the opposite direction. It's okay, I understand. I didn't, but now I do, I do. You're just getting started and I've been doing this for a long time now. Deep down, you're still an intern, and you're not ready._" It had stung that day, and it seemed like an impossible task to suddenly be ready for the things that Derek wanted, and she was convinced that she'd end up losing him when he found someone who was ready. But she'd done the impossible, she had gotten ready and she'd grown, she was letting him build a house for them. She'd let him in even though he'd hurt her. She'd let him breathe for her, she'd begun telling him when she was struggling. She loved him. She was ready for that lifetime to begin. The thought had terrified her, with any other guy she'd be running for the hills right about now. But this was Derek, her knight in shining whatever, if she was gonna get any semblance of a happily ever after, it was gonna be with him. She'd tell him that, she decided, tonight. Take him somewhere nice to dinner and tell him she was ready for forever. Whatever it was he was hiding, they'd work through it. She'd been dead for hours, and they'd gotten past that, they'd gotten past his drop dead gorgeous ex-wife appearing from nowhere. This would just be one more fence to scale. They'd get through it, she was certain. She almost forgot her mission until the envelope slipped onto the floor. She picked it up and read the contents.

**S&M is frowned upon in this hospital Dr. Grey. You engaged in rather a lot of it at the beginning of this year. You met your S&M partner in your next location at 8pm the day Dr. Yang traded off her wedding presents.**

Meredith read it over twice, trying to think why she'd be meeting someone for S&M in the hospital when she was with Derek. Then it clicked. Sex and mockery were the only things on the agenda after the wedding. The two things that worked in their relationship. They'd been in on call rooms, closets, and once very nearly the research library. It didn't seem that any of those times were specific enough though. There was a lot of S&M in her bed at the old house, but she hadn't met Derek at the house, she'd met him in the lobby. She rushed down, certain that she had the right place. She checked the waiting area, the stairs, even trying to peek into the elevator when people got off. She began to think that maybe she'd gotten it wrong, and pulled it back out of the envelope looking for anything that might give her more of a clue, but she had nothing. She made her way back towards the OR board, to see if she could locate the chief, stopping when she heard her name.

"Dr. Grey." A nurse called her from her station. "This was left for you." She handed Meredith another sprig of lavender and envelope number 6.

"Thank you" she called over her shoulder as she hurried towards a chair, sitting down to open the envelope and staring at the contents.

**You met both of your sisters in this hospital, and one has been lucky enough to begin to call you a friend. Find her; she'll be waiting in the same place she found you.**

Meredith cringed at the memory of Lexie introducing herself in the ambulance bay on her first day as an intern. As if Meredith would welcome her with open arms, or they had a predetermined reason to be friends. Meredith had tried, and ultimately poisoned her sister, but she could see the possibility of the pair being friends, even if she wasn't quite ready to have a sister just yet. She was trying. She was rather lost in her own thoughts as she walked straight out of the doors to the ambulance bay and straight past Lexie.

"Meredith!" Lexie called "Meredith, aren't you supposed to be finding me?" Meredith jumped at the sound of her voice, turning round to face the intern.

"Hi, yeah, the chief keeps giving me these little messages and they're kind of making me think a little more than I'd like to, it's fine though. Do you have any idea what's going on?" she asked Lexie, trying her best not to ramble too much.

"I do actually." Lexie grinned, "But I'm not allowed to say anything. Not even who told me not to say anything, cause if I told you that would ruin it and this whole thing would be pointless an…"

"Lexie." Meredith cut her off "do you have to give me something?"

"Er. Yes." she stammered. Handing her a carnation. "This and this envelope and these." She said handing Meredith a bag with Jimmy Choo emblazoned on the side.

"Is that… are they what I think they are? Hold these please." She handed Lexie her flowers whilst she sat down on a bench and pulled out the box contained within the bag, she gasped as she lifted the lid, pulling out a black suede platform with a stiletto heel. "Those are gorgeous!" Lexie gushed "I knew you were getting shoes but I didn't realise they'd be this beautiful. I am so jealous of you right now."

"I know." Meredith replied, checking that they were as she thought her exact size. "Wait, you knew about the shoes? What else do you know Lexie? I'm your sister, you're supposed to tell me things like this. You know I'll break you eventually so you may as well tell me now."

"I… "She stammered. "I'm not allowed to…" she breathed as her pager sounded. Derek. "I have to go. I'll talk you later." She ran away, almost tripping over a gurney as she tried to get inside. Leaving Meredith to curse whoever had come up with this little mission.

Derek had watched the scene unfold from behind the blind in his office where he sat with Mark. "How's she doing?" Mark asked Derek. Looking out of the window beside him.

"She just saw Lexie. I had to page her before she gave it all away."

"That means I'm up!" Mark said, "See you later man."

"Good luck!" Derek told him "and don't give the game away!" Mark nodded as he ran towards his required destination, gift in hand ready to give to Meredith when she found him. After thirty two years of friendship, Derek was still the one Mark looked up to, even after a failed marriage and a relocation miles away from home. Mark was actually grateful that Derek wanted him to be a part of the biggest day in the Grey-Shepherd relationship, his role was small, but Derek wanted him to be a part of it and that meant a lot. In Mark's eyes, if the whole day worked out, it was proof that even dirty mistresses get a happy ever after. If Meredith said yes, then there could well be hope for him yet, and that was something that made him very happy indeed. He strode through the halls that had become his own, a grin on his face, telling all that knew what was going on that things were on track, it hadn't quite been two hours yet, but Meredith was playing along, and Mark could already see the end result coming towards them.

**A/N- I know, the treasure hunt is so cheesy, but I like to hope that Meredith is going to realise how much she wants this even if she hadn't realised that she wants it now. I'll try and get part two up soon.**


	28. You

**A/N- Part two is here! Sorry it's a little later than usual, I haven't been home the last few days and I was reluctant to post an unpolished chapter before I left. The response to the last chapter was phenomenal, it really makes me happy to see that people are not only reading it but enjoying it and leaving reviews. It's rare that I get the chance anymore to be able to reply, but I'm definitely going to try and send you all the massive thank-yous that you deserve! This follows on pretty much from where the last chapter left off, because I literally split the chapter into four because it was so long! Enjoy **

Meredith silently cursed whoever had paged Lexie at the exact moment that Meredith had been certain that her half-sister would spill all. She looked around quickly to see if she could see anyone watching her. Frowning at the lack of an obvious spy, she leaned back on the bench, and opened the envelope.

**The right size shoes I presume? **

**You were born at the hospital, you died here too. Find the place where you remembered it wasn't your time to go. **

**(Run up there in those shoes and you will again be saying 'ouch' so save them for later.) **

Meredith didn't know how she felt about going back to the room she almost died in. Cristina still hated to use that trauma bay after what she was forced to witness the day Meredith drowned, and most of the other residents and attendings made a point of not assigning her to any cases in that room so as not to upset her at all. She walked back inside, taking a deep breath before walking in, reminding herself that the room had nothing to do with what happened even if it did dig up memories of the pain of being brought back from the dead, and the awful thoughts that she could easily have died there. She walked in slowly and found it seemingly empty, that is until Mark jumped up from below the window, making her scream.

"Mark you're an ass." She told him.

"Fine I'll leave." He said, feigning hurt. "I'll take this with me." He tried to walk away with her envelope and a purple rose. "I'm kidding; here is your flower, and envelope number 8."

"Thank you." She said, placing the rose with the flowers she'd taken back from Lexie just before she ran off. She opened her mouth to ask Mark what was going on, but he simply grinned and pulled a bag out from behind the bed.

"Derek asked if I could give you this for when you're done at work. He said to say if he came home and you were only wearing this that'd be great. Just don't tell me what's in there, I really don't want to know what Derek likes his ladies in when they have sex." He held the bag at arm's length, not even daring to peek inside to see what the man who had been like his brother for years had chosen for his future fiancée to wear that night in bed.

"Says the guy who dated Addison!" she snorted taking the Victoria's Secret bag. "Would it make you feel better if I told you it was a breastplate and a chastity belt and that we don't really even ever have sex?"

"It would actually." He replied heading towards the door, mindful that Meredith was on a time limit, and not wanting to get a telling off from Derek for causing her any sort of delay. "Enjoy the rest of your day of being a treasure hunter. I'll catch you later, preferably in the clothes you're currently wearing." She gave him a slight slap as he walked away back to Derek's office before his rhinoplasty. Meredith stared at the eighth envelope, praying that there were no more references to her brief encounter with the other side.

**You did amazing work the day the ferry crashed. But you were in too deep in life and needed rescuing. I want you to go back to the edge and a friend will be there to make sure you're still smiling.**

The docks. She hadn't been there since the crash. A lot of work had been done to fix it up, and she was fairly sure there were a lot more railings than there had been before, but it still terrified her. She was shaking a little as she got into her car. Her breathing a little ragged as she drove the short distance to the ferry docks, whispering to herself quietly. She reminded herself over and over that today there would be no carnage, no screaming, no patients to tend to, it was just her and whoever she was meeting. It was safe, and it most certainly wasn't her time to go yet, not whilst she was happy. Leaving her new shoes and lingerie on the back seat of her car she hesitantly walked towards the edge that she was knocked over. The card was true to its word though, and as Meredith turned the corner, she spotted Izzie who waved at her, walking towards her so that she wouldn't have to get too close. She gave her friend a hug when she saw the look of fear on her face at being back there alone. Before handing her a purple daisy and her ninth envelope.

"You know we're not allowed to say anything until it's over. I know you probably hate that, and everyone who keeps telling you that, but for the record, I love this idea, and I really wish someone had put this much thought into something for me. You're an extraordinary lady Meredith Grey." The pair walked back to their cars in silence. Izzie squeezed her friend's hand, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. The day was tough for Meredith, she was reliving scary stuff, but she was getting the best reward for doing so. She got the perspective that came from seeing her past mistakes and learning from them, but also she got a forever with Shepherd. She got romance, and a shot at a happily ever after, something which Izzie was a great believer in. Her pager sounded, a signal from Derek that Meredith needed to be moving on soon.

"I have to get back to the hospital, but I'll see you later, smile the end is going to be amazing!" Izzie said in a sing-song voice, grinning as she got into the car she borrowed from George, started the ignition and began to drive away. Meredith added the flower to the growing bunch on her seat, and set about Opening the next envelope.

**Even though you snore like a trucker, you found a man who will always show up anyway. That hasn't been a problem since you brought him a waxy little present. Find where he hides them and you'll find your next clue.**

Meredith made her way back to the house. She was already exhausted and it'd only been a few hours since she started her mission. Almost no one knew about her giving Derek the earplugs, someone had to have told the chief, and put the envelope in the draw, Derek had to be in this somewhere, he'd love the fact that she'd spent her day running after bits of paper and collecting flowers. Of course he was in on it. She drove the familiar route home, managing to dodge the rain which started falling the second she reached the porch. She opened the door and made her way up the stairs, not checking to see if anyone was home. She was the last to leave that morning, so she hadn't expected anyone to be there when she got in. She sat on her bed and opened the draw to the nightstand Derek used when he stayed, which was most nights at the moment, they weren't officially moved in until Derek had moved in his last box, that's what they'd agreed. It was surprising to the both of them how much stuff could be packed into a trailer. She pulled the drawer a little too fast and a mountain of condoms dropped out as the draw fell to the floor. She blushed a little, hoping that whoever put the envelope in the draw didn't check the contents before they put it there. She placed the condoms on top of the nightstand so that she could pick out the envelope and a white flower that Meredith had never seen before. She put the draw back in its place and stuffed the condoms back in before closing it and lying back on her bed and opening up the envelope.

**Not far to go this time. Meredith Grey, child of darkness decided to give up being dark and twisty in favour of bright and shiny. (For almost twelve entire hours!) Find where you were when you decided that, and keep your clothes on this time! **

She tutted to herself at the crudeness of the message but walked into her bathroom anyway, looking immediately at the bath. There lay even more lavender along with an envelope and a Seattle grace patient chart. Meredith smiled, maybe she was going to get to practice some medicine today after all. She flipped through the chart, looking to see why the patient had been admitted and checking the symptoms. It looked like a bad case of morning sickness from the look of the symptoms, definitely not surgical. She sighed, as she slid a finger into the envelope, pulling the slip of paper from inside.

**Check the blood work on this patient dr. grey and then find her room and let the surgeon there know what your plan is. Easy on the drugs though! **

Easy on the drugs? Why would they give a pregnant lady drugs? Anti-nausea medication maybe but that'd be it. She looked back at the chart, flipping it open to where the blood work was. Pregnancy test negative. Meredith's doctor brain began to kick in as she looked at the symptoms again. Vomiting, abdominal pain, she glance at the chart again, high white blood cell count. The woman had appendicitis. All she needed was an appy. Was this her reward, an appy? She flipped back to the patient history so that she could gather any useful information about the patient, and stopped when she saw the name printed on the first line. Meredith Grey, Dr. She groaned out loud. The chart was a copy of hers from back at the beginning of the year. Of course it would be, the whole day was about events in her life, so of course the appy was her own. She thought back to the room she was in up on the surgical floor as she made her way out to the car. She'd had a heart to heart with Addison, or so she'd been told, there'd been a lot of morphine involved. She made a big decision that day though. That was the day she chose Derek over Finn. That was the day she knew that there wasn't another person out there for her somewhere. There was Derek, and no one else. Derek was all that she needed. She smiled as she drove back to the hospital, she'd definitely made the right choice. Finn was a good guy, but Derek was her guy. Finn was good at the girl talk, but Derek was there for her physical needs too, something she was immensely grateful for. She pulled into the parking lot, and made her way towards the room she'd stayed in when she recovered from her surgery. She stifled a laugh when she saw that it was George sitting on the bed waiting for her to come up.

"I know." He said "I didn't want to be the appendectomy guy. But Alex and Cristina thought that this would be funny so here I am. I have this for you." He passed her another envelope, and another rose to add to her growing collection.

"Thanks George." She said taking them from him. "Who was it you said told you to be here?"

"Nice try." he said back, "but I'm not allowed to say. I am allowed to give you this though." he told her passing her a banana "I thought you might be hungry by now." She peeled it and took a bite, her first bite of anything since breakfast.

"Did you know, I actually thought I might get to do an appy today, I thought that was what this whole thing was about, took me like ten minutes to realise I was staring at my own chart." The pair laughed as George's pager sounded.

"I have to get to surgery, but have fun with the rest of your quest." He waved to her as he left the room, and she took his place on the bed. Opening the envelope, she felt her cheeks flush red as she was reminded of another misdemeanour from her intern year:

**A kind orthopaedic surgeon saved your behind after you left a little something in somebody's jacket pocket. Where did you find them? **

She checked that the coast was clear before she walked into the locker room that held the bulletin board that had her black panties pinned to it for far longer than is desirable for any person, let alone someone trying to hide their disgressions. She poked her head through the door checking to see if there were any interns lurking. Seeing the coast was clear, she walked over to the bulletin board expecting to see a note in the place where they had hung. Instead she came face to face with Callie, who had a big grin on her face as she dangled a tiny pair of pink panties off of one finger.

"I think these are for you Grey." She joked as Meredith turned crimson. "These have tags on still, so I'm assuming they're yet to be used." She handed Meredith the panties, who stuffed them in her pocket, looking at the ground.

"This is mortifying." She groaned. "Whoever's plan this was is mean. If I was chief and knew all this had been going on, I'd've fired my ass before I could do the rest of it." Callie laughed and handed her envelope 13. And a lily.

"I think you'll like your reward though. I only found out a couple of days ago, but you're definitely going to love it."

"That's all you're gonna tell me isn't it?" Meredith asked, knowing what her reply would be.

"Yep, but keep going, it's totally worth it." She shot her a grin as she made towards the door. "And Meredith, it is true. You are pretty extraordinary." Meredith smiled as she plopped herself onto one of the benches to open the envelope.

**Camille's hospital prom was a beautiful event, despite its disastrous finale. Two of our doctors however decided to have a little fun of their own. I suggest you head back there and ensure you left nothing on the floor this time.**

Meredith's heart raced at the memory of that night. However horrible and heart-breaking Denny's death was, her reunion with Derek was mind-blowing. The sex was great, it always was, but the closeness, the intimacy, just being together. There were so few words that night, but there didn't need to be, theirs was an act of love not sabotage. That night was proof that they were supposed to be together. It was so illicit but so right. She'd been to the same exam room a few times since, and it still got her. Even when they weren't getting on, that room was enough reminder of how much they deserved each other. She made her way over to it, sneaking a peek into Derek's office to see if he was around, she wanted to see him badly after having spent the morning thinking about him. She pulled a face when she saw that he was deep in conversation with someone. She stood at the window and blew him a kiss when he looked up at the window. He flashed her his signature Mcdreamy smile and she walked away towards their exam room.

**A/N- I hadn't given much thought to where each chapter ended, but how appropriate is it that Meredith was off to reminisce about prom night sex after Prom night 2.0 on Thursday? I have a super busy week, so there is no way I'm going to get part three up anytime before Friday as much as that would please me. It's nearly ready to go though, and the final part needs some gentle tweaking before they can start their happily ever after!**


	29. Marry

**A/N- Chapter 29, and part three of the proposal, which means it's the very last chapter before we finally get to see Derek down on one knee! As usual thank you so much to those who review and add me to their alerts, particularly the regular reviewers. I know I promise to reply but in my defence I had a big piece of work to finish this week and it literally ate up all my time until now.**

**Disclaimer- If I owned Grey's, Cristina would be nice, the interns wouldn't exist, and Meredith and Derek would not end the episode fighting!**

Derek spotted Meredith at his door, blowing him a kiss, and he grinned. By the looks of things she was on the way to their exam room, which put her exactly on schedule for where he wanted her later. He'd already spoken to Joe twice, who had assured him that everything was going to plan down at the bar too. Everything had arrived and they were in the process of transforming the bar into Meredith's personal wonderland. Derek had been nervous when they got to work, nervous that she wouldn't take it seriously, use it as a way to slack off and spend the day with Cristina, but by the looks of things she was actually enjoying it. He'd spoken to George and Mark and Lexie and they'd all said she was into it, she seemed to be taking seriously enough to commit to it until the end. He was excited to think that by the end of the day, she could be his fiancée. She could be his future wife. He could actually be getting his lifetime together with her. He had a while before he had to be at Joe's, Izzie and Mark were doing most of the setting up but he wanted to be there to help with the finishing touches once he was sure that Meredith would eventually be joining him. He got up from his chair and made to follow her before stopping himself. She'd get suspicious if he turned up everywhere just as she was. He stopped halfway across the bridge as she walked through the double doors at the end. He pulled the ring out of his pocket for one last look. To check for the hundredth time that it had been just like the picture she'd drawn with Izzie and their patient. It was still perfect. It was still something he wanted to see her wear every day for the rest of their lives. And it was still something that he wanted to be handed down to his children and grandchildren just as it had done for generations of Shepherd's. He snapped out of it at the sound of his name being called.

"Shepherd, you spent the past month making sure that girl doesn't get wind of your plan, are you trying to ruin it all right at the last minute by her catching you here in the halls with that thing." Bailey scolded him. "Now put it away. You have done everything you can, you just have to let her finish up here, and remember just how much she loves you and she will find you and she will say yes in a heartbeat. Don't tell me you're having second thoughts, cause if you break that girl's heart I'm gonna…"

"I'm not having second thoughts." He interrupted her. "I just can't wait to see her later, and put this on her finger and just spend the rest of my life with her."

"Well that's one thing you don't have to worry about. That girl isn't going anywhere. She's running halfway around Seattle because of you today, and you know the only reason she isn't cursing away and refusing to do it is because she gets to think about you. All day, and she gets to remember how Mcdreamy you've been to her over the last couple of years. She gets to remember why she started breathing again. She wouldn't do that if she wasn't in it for the long haul. I know this girl and she doesn't love easily. Don't forget that shepherd. She changed a lot for you, put up with all your crap, you gotta do the same for her. Now go before you make me go all sentimental. It's bad enough you're infecting the entire surgical staff with your mushy happiness today. Go make yourself useful somewhere. You'll be told when it's time to go." She walked away from him, satisfied that her message had been understood. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Good luck shepherd."

Meredith peeked into the window of the exam room, finding it empty, she went inside. There on the bed was her next envelope, and another rose. She picked them up, ready to walk away, when she remembered that the last note had said to look on the floor. She checked one side of the bed then the other before spotting a little blue bag at the head of the bed. Tiffany. Eyes wide, she pulled out the box that was inside, and a beautiful green blue pendant stared back at her. It matched her eyes almost perfectly, and it sparkled in the harsh exam room light, reflecting onto the walls like stars, or waves in the ocean. She checked the label on the bag for a name, a hint at who it was from, but all it said was

**Wear this with your shoes and your panties. **

She frowned, genuinely unsure of who could've taken the effort to buy her gifts. Derek had obviously arranged the lingerie, but he knew squat about shoes and jewellery, so they couldn't have been from him. She couldn't see why the chief would buy her Tiffany, or her friends, and there wasn't an occasion for Derek to be enlisting her friends to help him when buy her jewellery. She picked up the bag anyway, and laying her flowers on the bed she looked into her next envelope.

**You got into some scrapes as interns, but none quite as terrifying for the entire hospital as when you put your hand in a body cavity to pull out live ammo. But be quick, there are surgeries that need to be performed.**

The OR, it couldn't be anywhere else. She shuddered at the thought of what she'd seen that day. Pink mist is truly terrifying thing to see, especially when minutes before that could've been you. She glanced at the board seeing that the OR was free, and she quickly scrubbed, leaving her gifts and lab coat at the back of the scrub room before she walked through the doors into the empty room. Or the room she thought was empty until Alex jumped up off of the draped bed making her scream and jump right up off of the ground. Her heart raced as she saw it was only Alex, hitting him with her tiny ineffectual fists as he walked towards her.

"Your face mer." He chuckled handing her some greenery to add to her bouquet.

"So not funny Alex." She scolded him "remember whose house you live in"

"Oh, lighten up, it was just a joke. If I had to be part of this goose chase I at least wanted to have a little fun with it."

"What goose chase?" she said feigning confusion.

"Oh gimme a break, I'm saying nothing. They'd have my neck if I spilled. Take your little envelope and finish this whole thing, then I can go back to winding you up without fear of public stoning." Meredith laughed following him back to the scrub room and handing him a soap package.

"Aww, so you do care deep down in that hollow chest of yours." She teased, pulling on her lab coat and adjusting her bouquet as both she and Alex left the scrub room.

"Good luck" he said to her as he walked in the opposite direction she did. Meredith found herself a seat and sat down with her next envelope, placing the last in the pocket of her lab coat with the others. She made her way away from the ORs and found a seat in the waiting area. The contents of the envelope were again similar, she got the feeling she wasn't anywhere near done yet. Alex was right, this was a goose chase. She pulled out the paper and scanned it for her next destination.

**You had some tricky days as an intern, but you learnt a lot in making mistakes. There was only one place to run when you were faced with the first time you had to assist in the death of a patient, and only one person you needed there. Find your special place, I imagine it still brings some comfort…**

Now she was being sent to a supply closet. Meredith felt like she'd spent her entire day going to the parts of the hospital least visited. What was next the tunnels for a game of cards with Cristina? The card was right though, that day she needed Derek, she wasn't supposed to want him, and he wasn't supposed to want to help her, but of course he did, he loved her whether it was right or not. It was always the little things with him, the right words when she couldn't find them. The way he held her when she was scared and kissed her when he was proud. He made her feel safe every day, loved and accepted even when she was freaking out about nothing. She was glad when she reached the supply closet, the space did comfort her somewhat, and it seemed like no mistake that her next envelope was sat on top of the vomit bags. The exact same ones that she had to breathe into when she hyperventilated over the demise of her patient. Someone had really thought about all this, and it made her smile that people had helped her keep going. Meredith Grey was no longer alone. She had people. Not just person. She ripped open the envelope, tucking the thick grass into her bouquet. This card had just a few words on it, but they were enough, as Meredith ran back towards the scrub room the only thing that danced around her head was:

**Pick me. Choose me. Love me. **

She'd hated herself for saying it, and almost instantly regretted leaving herself in such a vulnerable position, especially when she was so hurt by it. She wished he'd made the right choice sooner, and on his own, but love didn't work like that you had to hit the road bumps, the ex-wives and the vets and kisses with colleagues you don't really love. She hated that it had been such a big thing for her to say it, admitting that she needed him to be there. That was brave for her, the anti-Meredith, but he'd made her that way, he made her brave, he made it okay to have fear. That day she'd've done anything to call Derek Shepherd hers, but she lost him, again. She told him she loved him and she lost him anyway. Now that he was hers again she wasn't letting him go anytime soon. For too long it had been that the only people that didn't know she loved Derek were her and Derek, and now that she knew, she had the rest of her life to prove to him that she loved him back, more than she could express, more than either of them could really ever know. He was part of her, part that she was never going to let go of. She was glad the scrub room was empty, it gave her a few minutes to compose herself and brush away the tears that threatened to fall, the whole day had been a little overwhelming, and she was ready for it to be over, ready to go home and get to bed and lay with the man she loved. She wanted Derek, she wanted forever already. She picked up her envelope and added the carnation to her bunch, sliding her finger under the seal of the envelope.

**You once asked Derek Shepherd to tell you things about himself, open up to you, show you who he was. You found the place an outdoorsy guy calls home. Go back and find the place you spent many nights thinking about the future before the past came to ruin things. **

The trailer, out on the land. That first night was beautiful. For her, it was like he was finally beginning to be honest with her about who he was, he let himself be a little bit vulnerable, and gave a little piece of himself to her. They were all alone out there, no roommates to walk in on them or refuse to give them a little alone time, no threat of pagers or senior doctors catching them in on call rooms. Just them, as if they were the only people in the world. She loved the drive to the land, the way they left the busy city behind and things became greener and more tranquil until they reached the land, acres and acres of beautiful scenery, and in the clearing, where you could see the whole of Seattle, made her feel like she was on top of the world. She couldn't wait for the house to be there. She could see markers on the ground as she pulled up near the trailer, Derek's attempt at making the outline of their house, so that they could visualise what would be when they started to break ground in a few months. She tried the door to the trailer, finding it locked, so she lifted the flowerpot that Derek attempted to hide his key under, but she'd found almost instantly, commenting on his poor hiding skills. She unlocked the door and breathed in the scent that was distinctly Derek, the one that still lingered inside the walls of his soon to be former home. She peered over to the bed, spotting her eighteenth envelope on the bed and another lily, the stem still wet as though it hadn't long been placed there. What caught her eye though was the frame on the nightstand, she hadn't been to the trailer in a while, and she was fairly certain that it hadn't been there the last time she was. She recognised the scene, it was one of their rare days off. They'd hung out at the house, which was fairly full for a week day. They'd spent the day playing old board games from Meredith's attic, laughing and joking. They'd teamed up for Pictionary, and Meredith and Derek had stormed it, leaving the others in their dust, they'd leaned in for a celebratory kiss, and someone had snapped a photo as they pulled back, both were grinning and staring intently into the others eyes. You could see the love from a mile off. Meredith smiled and placed it back on the nightstand, taking the envelope in her hands and pulling the contents. It was rather trivial, and she thought of several places it could mean, but when she thought about it,

**I hear dr. shepherd has a thing for ferryboats**

could only really mean one place. She made her way back to the hospital, parking the car in the space Derek had chosen for them this morning, and made her way to the bench right near the hospital that looked out onto the dock where they'd come in her first few months as an intern, when he told her he had a thing for ferryboats. They sat in each other's arms for a long while, comfortable enough in each other's company that they didn't need words, just the calming rhythm of the boats on the water was enough. Meredith had loved him then, she didn't dare say it, but sat on the bench holding onto Derek shepherd, she knew she loved him, she had no idea how much she loved him, but she Meredith grey had had a moments escape from being dark and twisty and let herself love the man in front of her. She sat down next to envelope 19 and watched the boats as she felt the breeze across her face. She breathed in the fresh air as she pulled another cryptic message from its paper prison.

**Criminals often say that nothing is illegal unless you get caught. I think you and Dr. Shepherd were definitely guilty the night your resident caught you. Tequila on the porch can do terrible things to a young lady Dr. Grey.**

This one had made her giggle. Thinking back to the night of the party where she'd gotten drunk on her porch and let Derek take advantage of her in his car. She walked back to the car and got into the driver's side, starting the engine. She jumped when she heard someone tap on the window. She turned to see Dr. Bailey looking at her from behind the glass. She wound down the window, laughing at the intended irony of the situation.

"You're blocking me in Dr. Grey." She joked as Meredith killed the engine and opened the door for her resident to get in.

"I guess I'm due a ban on surgeries for a while then aren't I?" she teased back. Miranda laughed, her smile fading slightly as she looked at her former intern growing before her eyes.

"Are you hating all this?" Bailey asked her honestly

"Truthfully, no." Meredith admitted. "It was a bit of a drag to begin with, but it's quite nice reliving some of the little things from last year. I can kind of see how far I've come, you know? It's just nice knowing I wasn't always a total screw up."

"Oh you are far from a screw up. You've been a damned fool sometimes, but you do prove yourself. It takes an extraordinary person to come back from what you did, even if the great Ellis Grey didn't always agree. I may have given you a hard time, but I never had a doubt that you'd come through it. Even when it looked like you'd give up, stop jumping through hoops, you stepped up. Every time. I mean it when I say you are going to make a damn fine surgeon one day." Meredith grinned. Bailey had been there through it all, watching closely, helping when it was needed, the one constant thing in Meredith's life since she first walked through the doors of Seattle Grace. She was glad that whatever was happening, Bailey was in on it. At least that way she knew it couldn't end badly.

"Well you know the drill, here's your flower and envelope number twenty." She placed them in Meredith's hands. "and I was told you may be required to decorate your earlobes later tonight, so apparently I am also a Tiffany delivery rep." she passed her the little blue bag, the twin of the one in the back seat.

"Thanks Dr. Bailey." Meredith uttered as she opened the box to find a pair of beautiful silver drop earrings adorned with little blue-green stones, matching her pendant.

"Well you deserve a little bit of happy now." She said opening the door and jumping out. "You know Grey, I am proud of you. You've come a long way from being the girl who had very public sex with a man with very perfect hair. It's good to see you smiling again." She closed the door as she made her way back towards the doors of the hospital. Meredith watched her go, before turning her attention back towards her envelope. Miranda Bailey was proud of her, maybe she did have a soft side after all.

**An eventful first patient lead to you scrubbing in much sooner than some of your colleagues. A one in a million diagnosis. That's pretty extraordinary for someone who believes they're little more than ordinary.**

Her first OR, that had to be the biggest rush of her entire career. Four years of college, four years of med school and finally she got to see the inside of that OR. It was magical, the whole OR working as a team, like a well-oiled, perfectly functioning machine. You never forget your first OR, and she'd gotten to experience the whole thing with the man she loved. There was no denying that she was built for surgery when she walked into that OR with the patient she'd diagnosed. Cristina had hated it, but she was scalpel hungry, and Meredith had sworn she didn't want the surgery, happy to instead pass it across to Cristina, but Derek had insisted she stay with the case until the end. She got out of the car and went the way that Bailey had taken moments before making her way to the OR that she now considered her favourite. It was their OR, the first place she considered the possibility of her and Derek being a couple. It was the place she'd been taught, a place she'd both loved and lost in. It was empty, she knew it would be, whoever had planned her day had made sure of that. This time there was no one to jump out at her, just a rose and an envelope, number twenty one waiting for her on a stool near the table. She lingered for a minute, taking in the magnificence of the empty OR, filled with the shadows of the lives they'd saved and those that they hadn't been able to. She looked up at the gallery, as a figure went out of the door, too quickly for her to catch a glimpse at their face. She picked up her envelope and her flower and she left too. It was getting towards the end of her shift, she had little over an hour left. That meant that her hunt was probably nearly over too. She savoured opening the envelope, knowing there were probably few left for her to open, staying within the doctors only markers, for that tiny bit of privacy.

**There's no OR without a patient. Your first was annoying, but special. One in a million just like you. Go find the place where you served her and saved her. **

Katie Bryce, the pageant queen, with the tiniest aneurysm caused by a fall in rhythmic gymnastics. She was the bane of Meredith's life for the time that she had to deal with her. Spoilt and more interested in her looks than the fact that she could be dying. She found Cristina because of Katie. Cristina wanted a surgery and Meredith didn't want to be in an OR with Mcdreamy so the pair pooled their knowledge and their resources to find her a diagnosis. Her person was brought to her because of Katie Bryce. She smiled as she walked along to the patient room, not realising Derek was watching her, waiting for her to get to this point before he left for Joe's knowing that the end was soon. She'd done the work all day and now he had to sweat it a little. Meredith opened the door to the room, smiling when she saw that it was Cristina waiting for her this time. They'd clearly gotten to her too, and she was usually not taken in so easily.

"They got you too." She asked as she sat down next to her on the bed.

"They did, weeks ago, apparently this merriment isn't optional. Here." She passed Meredith a tiny pot of ice cream and a spoon. "I figured you'd probably only eaten O'Malley's banana today, so I thought sugar might do the trick. It's strawberry obviously."

"Ooh yum." She replied tearing off the lid and spooning some of the cold treat into her mouth. She moaned in pleasure, not realising just how hungry she was until then.

"Aren't you supposed to make those noises with Mcdreamy?" Cristina jibed, laughing as her friend turned red, toning down her enthusiasm for the ice cream.

"So is this my treat, I'm done now?" she questioned. Rolling her eyes when instead Cristina pulled out another envelope and another lily. "Or not."

"There aren't many left after this one though." Cristina reassured her as Meredith added the lily to the centre of her vast bunch. She smiled at Meredith, knowing how happy she'd become in just a few hours, how at peace she seemed just after today remembering why she had become a surgeon, and chosen Derek. It was nice to see her person smiling, it meant there was hope. After everything that Meredith had suffered through, there was hope for her, which meant there was hope for everyone. Meredith caught her looking and frowned.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm not looking at anything. You're the one that's all happy and grown up and healed, not me." Meredith laughed at her.

"That's me. Are you done for the day now, or do you have surgery?"

"I have to check up on some post ops then I have somewhere to be. Speaking of which." She glanced at her pager as it sounded. "I have to go, I'll catch you later, enjoy the rest of it." She sped out of the door and into the locker room. It was time to get to Joe's and wait for the show to start. Meredith stayed sat on the bed to open her envelope, wondering just how few she had left before she got to find out what this was really all about. Wondering just how many envelopes stood between now and telling Derek that she was finally ready for forever.

**A/N- The end is nigh! I don't know for definite when I'll update, but by next weekend they will finally be engaged I promise!**


	30. Me?

**A/N- Here it is, part four of their proposal. I love this chapter with all my heart, but it was hard to get across exactly how beautiful it is in my head, so I hope I've done it justice! I've hated some of the stuff that I've put them both through, but this makes it almost worth it! Enjoy **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Grey's Anatomy!**

Meredith watched Cristina walk away before sliding her finger under the seal of the envelope in her hand. She was certain that her best friend's willingness to join in with the game she'd been playing all day meant that there was something amazing coming, and she was totally missing any clues she may have been given. It made her feel a little stupid, it was probably blindingly obvious but she just wasn't fitting the pieces together. But it was nice not knowing, maybe she was a surprise kind of girl after all. She read over the words twice to be sure that they were saying that she was finally free of the hospital. She loved it there, but it was exhausting, and today, even though she hadn't done any doctoring, she was equally as exhausted. And there was only one place she wanted to be and one person she wanted to be snuggled against.

**Your home is where you grew up, it's where you took in friends and strays and made an entire intern group feel like a family. You made many of your big decisions there, and you started your internship year by inviting your boss to stay the night void of clothing. Pack up your stuff, venture back and find a nice outfit to go with your new shoes. Wear those new panties and tie your hair up so we can see those ears. Take an old dress dancing Dr. Grey.**

Home at last. Meredith was ready to go home. Ready to see Derek, and make him feed her and hold her and make love to her. She quickly made her way back to the residents lounge, shimmied out of her scrubs and packed up ready to go home. The lounge was empty, which was unusual, but she knew she'd see her friends tomorrow. She'd've seen them at home no doubt, but what she had planned for her and Derek did not involve leaving their bedroom for very long.

The drive home had her at peace, but the fact that her day wasn't officially over, according to the cards, meant that she couldn't relax completely just yet. She called out as she opened the front door listening out for any signs of life. Hearing none she made her way towards her room, opening her closet to do as the card had told her. Every one of her dresses had a post it on it, with **not this one** scribbled across it, she pushed each one aside looking for the one deemed the one she was supposed to wear to wherever she was going. Then she spotted it. The dress she wore the night she met Derek. The one the subsequently ended up on her living room floor along with every scrap of clothing they had each had on that night. She pulled it out and sure enough there was a little blue post it with the words **this one** printed on it. She pulled her new underwear from its various hiding places and put them on slipping her dress over the top and pulling up the zip. She turned her attention to her hair pulling the waves into a sleek bun, pushing her fringe to one side and touching up her make up. She put in her new earrings and fastened the pendant around her neck. She added bangles to her wrists and reached into the box for her new shoes. She threw her phone and some cash into a little clutch bag checked herself over in the mirror before making her way to the front door, totally unaware of where she was going. She'd left her flowers in the car, along with her envelopes, so she decided to take them out before she rang anyone to see where she was supposed to be. As she got there, she noticed a white envelope taped to the back of the door. How had she not noticed that on the way in? She pulled it off and opened it, knowing this would probably be the last one, and the one that told her where she was going that evening. She pulled the card out savouring the words of her final task.

**You're just a girl in a bar, huh? **

Meredith grinned. That was what she'd said to Derek that night at Joe's. She'd tried to convince him that she was just any other girl at any other bar, but he knew different. He knew she'd end up loving him, just as soon as she got to know him. He was right. The perfect haired man in the nice red shirt had been right. She did love him. She always had. As soon as she was done she'd find him, and tell him, and remind him that she wasn't going anywhere without him, ever. She got in the car, trying not to damage her shoes or ruffle her dress. She may not have been sure why she had to dress up, but she wasn't going to do the dress a disservice after she'd paid so much for it. Partly to impress her bosses and colleagues the night of the mixer, but also because it was in the first shop she looked in. Meredith was never one for shopping, particularly when it came to clothes, but she'd got lucky with that dress, in more ways than one. She made the short drive to Joe's and smiled when she saw him standing at the door, dressed smartly, worlds apart from his usual shirt and jeans combo. He'd even done his hair. This had to be a real celebration. She picked up her flowers and pushed the envelopes into her clutch locking the car behind her and walking towards the bar owner.

"Dr. Grey!" she gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I see you've made it and you brought your bouquet."

"I did, how did you know…" he cut her off by handing her another envelope, and taking her flowers and placing him to a vase he had hidden behind him, watching delightedly while she opened her correspondence.

**You've been back in time a lot today. But here's the very beginning. There's a guy in a bar waiting to be your knight in shining whatever, you just have to go in and find him.**

"Derek…" she whispered, her breath catching in her throat as she realised that he'd done all of this. Every last detail had come from him. The entire day she'd convinced herself that someone had done this as a way to humiliate her, or just to make her realise how good she already had it. But it was him, and he was waiting for her. This was what he'd been hiding, why everyone had been staring and whispering. She bit her lip as she fought the tears that were building in her eyes, willing them not to smudge her mascara as she fitted the pieces of the last few weeks together, not even daring to dream about what might be waiting for her inside. She took a deep breath and nodded towards Joe, signalling that she was ready for whatever Derek had decided to reward her with. Joe opened the door and she gasped when she saw the transformation that had been made in the bar. There were flowers everywhere, purple and white bunches on every surface. Bunches of lavender hung at various points around the bar. Creating a smell that she recognised as not being dissimilar to her conditioner. The one Derek regularly commented on. He'd made her promise never to switch, because the smell was part of her, and he didn't want to lose any part of her. Even more fairy lights twinkled than normal giving the entire space an heir of magic and mystery. She looked straight across the room and met the eyes of her Mcdreamy, wearing his nice red shirt and madly grinning at her. He held out his arms, gesturing to the rest of the people, whom she hadn't had time to recognise yet, and tilted his head from side to side forcing her to look and see all of her friends, Izzie, Alex, George, Lexie and Cristina as well as Bailey and Webber and numerous other members of the surgical staff all smiling in anticipation of her arrival and what that meant. She took a few steps towards Derek, her hands going straight to her face as he got down on one knee and reached out for her hands. She reached out and placed her hands in his, Cristina taking her clutch from under her arm. Derek looked into her eyes and said:

"Meredith, from the day I laid eyes on you I knew you'd be the one I wanted to spend all my days with. When I found you again at work, I knew that the fates wanted it to. From that moment, I have been so in love with you Meredith, so in love that I want a lifetime with you, I want kids and a dog and a house out in the woods. I want to wake up beside you, and I want you to be the last thing I see at night. I want to share with you my every success, my every fear and my every heartache. I want to live everyday with you and live my life for you and because of you. I want to know that however crappy work is, I have the most beautiful woman in the world to come home to. I want to be safe in the knowledge that I am always running towards something wonderful. I want to share my everything with the one person that showed me what it is to love and to be loved. I want to experience everything that life will throw at me with the woman who gave me a reason to keep breathing. I want you Meredith, so please." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a midnight blue velvet box. Meredith's eyes brimmed with tears as she realised what was about to happen, what all of this had been for. Derek eased the box open, the stones instantly catching the light, obscuring her vision even more. He took a shaky breath before uttering the words he'd been dying to say for weeks. "Meredith Grey, will you do me the enormous honour of becoming my wife?" he held out the ring to her as the tears fell from both of their eyes.

She didn't even need to think about her answer, she was biting her lip not to scream yes before he'd finished asking her. "Yes," she whispered so that only he could hear. "Yes." Louder this time. "I'll marry you." He slid the ring on her finger and took her into his arms kissing her passionately on the lips, lifting her off her feet. The bar erupted with cheers and congratulations. She pulled away so that she could look deep into his eyes, even bluer with the tears that had trailed down his cheeks and those left unshed. Meredith lifted up her hand to admire the ring Derek had placed there. She gasped when she realised where she'd seen it before. "This is the one I…" she croaked. Derek nodded. He pulled the piece of paper, crinkled from its adventures, out of his pocket and passed it towards her.

"I saved it from when you were drawing with Izzie, and then when mum gave me her ring to give to you I had it adjusted and made to look like this one." Meredith didn't even try to stop the tears now as she put her arms around Derek's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. It was by far the most beautiful and wonderful thing anyone had ever done for her. The getting to this moment had been amazing, but the knowledge that he loved her so much that he would make her engagement ring made her heart swell with love for him. She felt his arms wrap around her tiny torso, strong and safe and she knew that there was no way she was ever going to leave them. This was it, this was the start of her happily ever after.

"Hey," he said, "don't cry, I didn't mean for you to cry, I thought you'd like it."

"I do," she sobbed. "I love it, it's perfect and I love you. These are unequivocally happy tears. I spent the whole day just wanting to be with you, to tell you that I loved you and how grateful I am that you're in my life. I was coming home to tell you that I wanted a forever, that I was finally ready for everything that you have planned and you were here waiting all ready, and it's just… it's perfect Derek. Thank you." She laid her head on his shoulder for a second more, before turning in his arms and lifting her hand so that everyone could admire the ring on her finger. The crowd encircled them, her hand being pulled in many directions as her friends fought for a look at the ring that bound her and her Mcdreamy. They were both hugged and congratulated so many times that they were grateful when Joe fought his way into the crowd with a bottle of champagne and some glasses, pouring enough to toast the happy couple.

"To the future Dr. and Dr. Shepherd." He raised his glass, as everyone followed suit.

"To the Shepherds." Everyone agreed clinking their glasses and sipping the champagne. Derek looked back at Meredith, getting lost in her eyes as he leaned in for another kiss. She'd said yes, and now they were getting married. He'd asked her, and she'd said yes. He couldn't think of a single moment where he was happier. Meredith grinned at her fiancé, rubbing her thumb over her ring to make sure that this was all real, that it was really happening. This moment was perfect, he'd done everything, and worked so hard and she loved him. He loved her and she loved him back. No ex-wives or vets or inappropriately placed kisses were in the way now. It was just them, the future Dr. and Dr. Shepherd, and right then she was totally happy, there was nothing that could've made any part of this moment more perfect. She had wonderful colleagues, amazing friends, and she was going to spend the rest of her life with the man she loved more than life itself. This was real, this was it, and that, for Meredith was perfect.

As the night wore on, the pages came in, and much of their little party was called back to their jobs, returning to the hospital to save lives. By eleven, it was just Meredith and Derek wrapped in each other's arms swaying to the sounds from the jukebox holding each other as if they'd never let go. Neither wanted to, as perfect as this moment was, both were painfully aware that eventually they'd have to go back to work, and back to their lives, so they were savouring every second of their first night as a betrothed couple, and the subsequent weekend off that Meredith had been craving.

"Er, doc." Joe interrupted them eventually, not wanting to burst the bubble that the two were floating in. "If it's alright with the two of you, I'm gonna start locking up, my regulars all knew there was a private party going on tonight, so I'm not expecting anyone else. You can stay a while if you want. I'm happy to get you a few more drinks."

"Oh no it's fine." Meredith told him. "I kind of wanna be getting home. It's been a long day." She smiled as she rested her head on Derek's chest breathing him in. he kissed the top of her head, breathing in the lavender and Meredith smell that he loved, still holding onto her waist as she gathered her things and walked towards the doors.

"I'll come by for the rest tomorrow." Derek told Joe gesturing towards the flowers and the lights.

"Sure thing dr. shepherd." He replied smiling.

"Thanks so much for doing all this Joe, it means so much that you were a part of this." Meredith gushed, even more tears escaping. "You've done so much for both of us. I'm just really glad this is where I met him." She chewed on her lip, before the tears took over again. Derek saw the tiredness in her tears, how overwhelming the whole day had been, and began guiding her up the stairs, waving to Joe as he took his future bride to his car, ready to go back to the place they had first had sex, to make love to his fiancée. Joe watched as the pair left, proud that his bar had created such a beautiful couple, and been the place where they'd gotten engaged. The symmetry to him was a wonderful touch, one that only the like of Derek Shepherd could really pull off. He'd have to start telling customers that the fates worked their magic there, so much of their relationship had happened there, the good and the bad, all under his watch, but it looked like the prince had found the princess and they might just get their happily ever after after all. He'd owned the bar for a long time, he'd seen the good and the bad relationships, dealt with first date nerves and bad break ups. Meredith and Derek though, they were something else. Much of their love for each other was unspoken, as though words would only ruin the beauty of it. He had watched from afar as the pair had seen their ups and downs and finally begin working together towards forever. Joe had seen love, and he'd seen falling out of love. He was in love himself, but only once had he seen love in its purest form, raw and painful, but with a little nurturing, totally and utterly beautiful. Many of the people who had gathered in his bar that night had seen the worst that love could offer, but by showing up, lending their support to the happy couple, it proved that they believed that it was possible to find true love, that Meredith and Derek, despite their eventful past, gave everyone else a little hope for their future.

**A/N- It makes me smile to see my Meredith and Derek all grown up at the same time without it being laced with drama! As much as I've loved getting them to this point, I am so excited for the next stage of their life! I'm very aware that I have nothing solid for the next few chapters, I know what I want to happen, I just have to get there! The Grey's timeline in the early seasons really confuses me, and that's probably reflected here! In my head it's the mid to end of October but who knows where it should really be! Apologies if my next few updates are random, it's the middle of semester and I get a week off so I'm all over the place and may not be able to update. Until then, let's just bask in the MerDer bubble on the show and in the fic! I'm certain that things wont be smooth sailing for the rest of the fic, but they will stick by each other despite anything that happens to or around them. It's been a long road to get them to grow up enough to commit, so thank you all for persevering. Here's to what I hope will be another 30 chapters!**


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